TUESDAY THOUGHTS: WOUNDED STAR

The stage was brimming with competent people. 

A lot of time, effort and energy had been invested. Expectations, however, were low. There was skepticism and fear of failure.

Sometimes when a person is besieged by their own limitations, there's a tendency to attack, blame, scold, school, and discredit those around them, instead of leaning, depending on, and appreciating them.

Negativity is contagious.

Some people will always hear what they want to hear, and everything they hear will be unacceptable. 

Even if you give back verbatim everything they've communicated, they’ll find error. 

Mistakes are often orchestrated by those who are bent on finding fault. Strengths are minimized by those who don't have the capacity to applaud the skill of others. 

Things that aren't broken endure unnecessary tampering in the hands of a saboteur. Mediocrity, disappointment, and sadness are the results.

It was okay, but it could have been— no—should have been great. 

I was told many times that the stress and anxiety was visible--so was the truth. 

I thought I'd been smiling. 

I guess I wasn't. 

Maurice White was right. "Ain't it funny that the way you feel shows on your face?"

I watched the clock. 

I never watch the clock. When I saw 00:00:00 flashing, I wanted to break out in a dance. 

I was proud of myself for staying calm; for not saying much, and for not excusing myself. 

I wanted to leave, and remember the time when I would have adopted a Jonah spirit, and hitched a ride on the next great fish that swam by. 

In my mind, I think I did leave. I was strictly in work mode. I wasn't enjoying any of it, but I had a job to do. 

I was, however, eagerly anticipating the next thing. 

It, too, was work, but leadership understood the importance of teamwork, and mutual respect.

I was positioned near huge speakers and several curtains. I don't think I've ever been so happy to be out of sight.  

Someone joked that I wasn't even onstage. They said they could hear me, but all they could see was a random hand movement emerge from behind the curtain. 

That, and the sound of three distinct voices was the only proof that I was there. 

Not even photos attest to my presence. 

To say that I'm glad about it would be an understatement.

A major piece of the puzzle, that had been so wonderfully helpful in the preparation process, was missing when it counted. That absence was deeply felt. 

It's amazing, though, how people view a situation so differently; how some can press on happily without exposing or acknowledging a deficit, while others panic, nosedive, and take everyone down with them; disabling them; binding them with the ripcords of every available parachute, and ruining any chance of saving the day.

The situation was full of so many lessons in leadership, self-worth, difficult people, letting go of past hurts, tact, kindness, cooperation, consistency, honesty, communication, discernment, and the power of one's spirit and attitude to affect everyone in a positive, or negative way. 

After it was over, I went back to my room to write.

WOUNDED STAR

Wounded star, get out of your own way
Wounded star, being green doesn't become you
Wounded star, no need to tell us who you are
Wounded star, stop fearing someone will eclipse you
Wounded star, just shine

Can't you see you're doing it again?
Pushing back when no one's raised a hand
Finding fault before the day begins
Praising pain

Preferring sinking sand

Stop it now--watch your words
They're weapons, too
Make it end
Why wound those who stand beside you?

Who only want to help you?

Forget who you wish you were
We know
The hype you believe
Has spoiled your authenticity
You thought insecurity was hiding
We see who you are
Faint traces of a broken, wounded star

Can't you see you're doing it again?
Don't let those demons loom large
Find a way to love yourself again
Fight the urge to sabotage
That of which you are a part
See the good--even in strangers
They're for you
Even if what's familiar is not

Don't dim from the inside out
Stop wondering if your light is there

It is.
We see it
It's just fine
Needs no excuses
No explanations
Wounded star, just shine

Wounded star, get out of your own way
Wounded star, being green doesn't become you
Wounded star, no need to tell us who you are
Wounded star, stop fearing someone will eclipse you
Wounded star
You're a star, still
Just shine