TUESDAY THOUGHTS: IN SEARCH OF A MAND

MAND--

 

1. A village in Szabolcs-Szatmár-Bereg County, Hungary

2. The surname of an Estonian politician

3. A town in Kech District, Balochistan, Pakistan

4. A style of folk music in Rajasthan, India

5. A demand

6. Mandatory

7. Metropolitan Area Network Development

8. Military Association for National Defense

9. A village located in Jalandhar district in Punjab, India on Kapurthala Road.

10. A Jat clan

I’ve searched all over, and I still haven’t found “Mand of God”, so, I googled it. 

(It's funny, but there was a time when "google" wasn’t a word either.)

 

I was anticipating thousands of Google responses to help me understand the meaning of the infamous, articulately uttered “Mand of God”. 

Instead, Google quickly replied, (and I could almost detect a hint of attitude with a side- helping of pity), “Did you mean “MAN of God”? 

Even Google was stumped.

So, I thought about how I’d heard the phrase so pompously pronounced, and searched for “mond” instead. 

I didn’t find a word or definition, but did find the meaning of an acronym. MOND apparently stands for “Modified Newtonian Dynamics”. 

Maybe he did, but I don’t recall studying Sir Isaac’s theory on the variation in force or intensity of a preacher’s speaking voice.

I grew up in the Baptist church, so hearing words and phrases that have a nice ring, but don’t make a lick of sense, is nothing new.

When did we start adding random "d's" and "t's" onto the ends of words?

It was humorous to hear Tyler Perry’s Madea say, “Kevind”, because we all know there’s no “d” at the end of the name "Kevin". 

Most of us learned the word “man” early in life—way before we ever heard the name “Kevin” (unless, of course, one’s own name is Kevin, and that would be the only exception), and the Phonovisual chart we used in first grade, never said anything about using "d" sounds all willy-nilly.

I searched again, and the results were “M and T Bank”. 

Even the search engine at the oh-so-hip urbandictionary.com was stumped by my request. It was convinced that I was looking for "commandment", and promptly redirected me.

Anyway, I pressed on, determined to find out what a “Mand of God” actually is. If it actually is a thing, maybe I shouldn't shake my head and laugh under my breath, every time I hear someone utter it across a pulpit.

I’ve closed spelling/grammar check, and everywhere “mand” appears in my document, it’s underlined—with a squiggly RED underline-- seemingly demanding that I stop being stupid, and fix it. 

Spelling/grammar check suggested I use:

mind, 

mend, 

man, 

mad, 

mane, 

maid, or 

many, because it, too, was sure I couldn’t possibly want to use “mand”. 

(There’s that red squiggly line again.)

Perhaps we overshadow, or destroy the wisdom and insight that may have been found in the rest of what we had to say, the minute we choose style over simplicity and substance. 

Maybe saying “mand” rolls off of the tongue and sounds good in the ears of the speaker, but the listeners are rolling their eyes, and snickering, or scratching their heads wondering, “What the heck is a mand?”

Not to be outdone, I hear that some have resorted to saying “womand”. 

I’m just going to leave that alone. 

I’m frustrated enough as it is.

The word “man” can be pronounced lots of ways, depending on your geographic location. 

I’ve heard, “ma-an”, “mane” “mon”, and mawn", but the origin of the added “d” is a complete mystery.

I stopped to check my spelling and grammar, as I typed this. The window opened—“Spelling and Grammar: US English”. 

Guess what Microsoft Word highlighted in bold red letters, and informed me is not in the dictionary? 

You guessed it. “Mand”. 

Still determined to get answers, I checked different translations of the Bible. 

I saw “mandrakes”, “mandolin”, “mandate”, but no sign of “mand”—not even in the King James Version, which drives spellcheck bananas all the time.

I’m not against coining phrases. It’s done all the time. Creativity is a wonderful thing. 

I am concerned that, in an effort to sound impressive, highly educated, and well-read, speakers end up sounding ignorant, pretentious, and ridiculous.

I looked again at the usages I did find, to try to validate the phrase “mand of God”, so that the next time I hear it, I won’t wonder why someone can read Nehemiah 7:7 without missing a beat, but can’t seem to pronounce the word “man".

This information is from Wikipedia: 

“Chapter Three of B. F. Skinner's work Verbal Behavior discusses a functional relationship called the "mand." 

A mand is a form of verbal behavior that is controlled by deprivation, satiation, or what is now called "motivating operations" (MO) as well as a controlling history. 

An example of this, would be asking for water when one is water deprived ("thirsty"). 

It is tempting to say that a mand "describes its reinforcer" which it sometimes does, but mands may have no correspondence to the reinforcer…”

Okay. I get it. I think…and B.F. was apparently good at making up words to suit his purposes. 

It still doesn’t help me with “Mand of God’. 

I’ve been a few places in the world. 

I was born in Baton Rouge, live in the DMV, and have relatives in Boston, Atlanta, Chicago, St. Louis, Los Angeles and several cities in Louisiana.  

I repeat, I’ve heard, “maan”, “ma-an”, “mane” “mon”, and “mawn”, the origin of the added “d” is stumping me to smithereens. 

Still curious, I decided to check out one of my favorite websites, BabelFish.com. 

Perhaps “mand” isn’t an English word at all! Perhaps  Babelfish will show me that someone borrowed “mand” from another language, and forgot to tell the rest of us, before it began being dropped onto our heads like a religious water balloon.

I typed in “mand” and clicked "translate". 

I started with English to Chinese, then tried Dutch, French, German, Japanese, Portuguese, and Russian. 

Each time, “mand” translated “mand”. 

Then I translated all of the languages to English, and there was a single change. 

In Dutch, “mand” means “basket”. 

I thought to myself, “Bishop So-and-so is a highly anointed basket of God” 

Well. Okay. 

One can fill a basket. 

One can carry a basket. 

Baskets are often handmade. 

I know. I’m stretching. I'm sure I've strained something with all of the stretching.

I’d just rather understand a thing, before I conclude that it’s only purpose is to illicit a good laugh.

I searched again. 

Wait. There's hope! 

I found the following: 

"mand--a person or thing that operates” 

"Okay", I thought. "Now we're getting somewhere!" 

To operate means to work, perform, or function; to act effectively; produce an effect; exert force or influence. 

Certainly, someone can do all of those things on behalf of God! 

Is this the definition that will justify all of the overly articulated speaking to which we've grown accustomed? 

Will the ridicule and comedy end now? 

Is this the "mand" of "mand of God" fame?

It could be.

It still sounds silly, though. 

#churchspeak

#mandofgod

#PretentiousOrProper