THURSDAY THOUGHTS

A lot of anger, confusion, worrying, or fretting about HOW decisions are, or were made, can be nipped in the bud by simply considering WHO’S making the decisions. Whose idea was that? Who signed off on that? Who has/had authority? Who’s representing? Who’s speaking? What do they know, think, prefer, believe, or assume? 

All of THAT will inform you. That will answer your questions. That will explain why THIS inauthenticity, as opposed to THAT reality. Decisions don’t make themselves.

Knowing who’s making the decisions, will make the nonsensical outcomes make sense. It will reveal why excellence was seemingly overlooked, in favor of mediocrity. It will explain striking omissions and obvious exclusions. It will determine why what could have been had, was scrapped, fumbled, or never materialized. 

The results of decisions may be disappointing, lacking, infuriating, wasteful, laughable, or curiously odd, but you have to acknowledge who has the last word, and who’s in charge. Whether they should be, and how they got to be, is another conversation. Who made the decisions, and what are their qualifications to do so, are questions that explain EVERYTHING. 

If the decision makers aren’t efficient, aren’t knowledgeable, are lone wolves, don’t ask questions, don’t know who TO ask, rely on limited or erroneous information, are partial, misinformed, indifferent, delusional, incompetent, arrogant, or disconnected, it will be glaringly reflected in their choices, what they present, champion, and offer. 

THURSDAY THOUGHTS

We walked to Waxie Maxie’s.

We walked back home—north on South Capitol Street, until it turned to Nichols Avenue.

(By the way, Nichols Avenue is now known as MLK. That’s how long ago it was.)

We couldn’t wait to read the liner notes, and put the vinyl on the record player.

We played it over and over, until it skipped.

Then, we took that walk again, to buy another one.

Do we count THAT?

Imagine multiplying that, times everybody else who did the same.

What would the numbers be?

Who would surpass who?

Some things can’t be compared—

I mean you could, but why?

Is it about quality or popularity?

Substance or trends?

Some things required deliberate effort, preceded by great expectation and patience 

Now?

Accidental ease.

Why these silly comparisons and competitions with voices that are silent?

Voices that did more with much less?

Voices that didn’t need correcting or tweaking?

Voices that weren’t afraid of going live?

We walked to hear what those voices had to say

And we’re still listening, today, in new ways they never imagined 

TUESDAT THOUGHTS: TELEVISION

 

“Comedy is how we decorate reality.”

“Just go serve something that you love already. Just go do something you love.”

TUESDAY THOUGHTS

Moving, or removing your carefully set boundaries to accommodate that at which your discernment is blowing whistles and waving giant red flags, (because your trusting, empathetic nature, and people pleasing tendencies, are making those sad, pitiful faces, again), is silly. Freeze. Remember? Those boundaries are there for a valid reason. They didn’t erect themselves. They’re not decoration. 

You can take your time to ponder a thing. 

You can delay a response.

You can disagree. 

You can politely decline. 

You can resist pushiness.

You don’t have to cave. 

You can stick to your own plan. 

You can rely on your own lived experience.

You can say “No, thank you”. 

Explanations aren’t necessary—even to people who have convinced themselves that you owe them one.

You want to hope that people’s intentions and motives are pure. Sometimes, you can see that they are not. That’s what your instincts are for—and your business hat. Keep it on. Stay within the parameters of the agreement. Keep your eyes open for people who act as if they are your savior, or spokesperson. Trust your gut when opportunism tries to masquerade as promotion or help, and networking camouflages itself in garments of friendship.

 Some people need others to be indebted and beholden to them. They collect people in order to broadcast the “good deeds” they do for others. Everything they do is performative. They seek praise, and followers, not collaboration.

Notice when people are sizing you up, and “inviting” you into their spaces. They see your value, fail to see YOU, and have wrongly concluded that you are pliable, gullible, needy, desperate, can be used (or bought), and are desirous of the same superficial things that they are. 

Some people are purely transactional. They want to know what can you do for, or bring to them, their thing, or their reputation.  How can your presence at, or participation in their endeavors make THEM look, in the eyes of those whose attention THEY seek? They want access and proximity because they think that you are their ticket to an inner circle, or higher rung that they desire.

It’s one thing for others to try to represent you, sidestep your decisions, monopolize your time, impose their agendas, bully you, guilt trip you, or twist your arm to get you to comply with their wishes. It’s another for you to allow it; abandon your firmly uttered “No”, ignore your instincts, fail to speak up and correct erroneous information, or disregard your own spidey senses, and end up in circumstances you don’t want to be in. 

You don’t need to be dragged into another clique, spin- off, group, club, or organization that’s more about busyness than business. Your reputation, experience, competence, and body of work is sound. If you’re going to align yourself with anything else, consider your limitations and deal breakers. If you’re going to do something, vet it, and let it be YOUR idea to hop on board. In addition to it being worthwhile, clear, productive, stress-free, beneficial, consistent, honest, fun, healthy, and solid, let it feed your soul. 

MONDAY THOUGHTS

Stop, and acknowledge the beauty that's around you.

                                    

 

MONDAY THOUGHTS: POETRY PROMPT

There is no suitable replacement 

No qualified substitute 

No reasonable facsimile 

No new torch bearer

What was, will never be again

The body of work, however, remains 

It breathes

It lives

In every era

It needs no embellishment 

No rearranging 

No updating

No tweaking 

It has already been perfected

It is the blueprint that is studied

It has no rival

It seeks no competitor 

Everything else is a mere copy

Everyone else is a mere student 

Curator

Admirer

The teacher is gone

There are no shoes to fill

Only footsteps to follow 

The lessons are here to study

To cherish

To share

Nothing is kept alive by dissecting it

Changing it

Diluting it

Excellence need not be tampered with

Just appreciated

MONDAY THOUGHTS

Be genuine. It’s too much work to be an actor, as you assess and navigate situations, spaces, and places.

Be kind. It costs nothing.

Help and volunteer with zero expectations of accolades, indebtedness, or reciprocity. 

Have pure motives for serving. It shows when you’re only availing yourself to gain access, passes, and perks, and then complain about, and bristle at the actual time commitment required, and work to be done.

Halfway is not going to cut it in spaces and places that strive for excellence.

Don’t opportunistically seek out, or collect people in an effort to feather your own nest. 

Some people can be bought. When it’s clear that you can’t be, the hopeful buyer’s countenance and attitude will sour at the thought of the company they’ve curated.

Be clear about what you did, or did not request. Sometimes, people need to you to justify or cosign what THEY want, or think is best.

The most impressive thing about you CANNOT be your list of contacts. Name dropping pales in comparison to actual, strong working and personal relationships.

The need to be seen, causes many to transform themselves into annoying busybodies, who eventually tire out from the busyness no one asked for. They must be careful, because some people WILL give them something to do just to keep them occupied, and it may not be anywhere near the glamor, or spotlight they crave.

Sometimes, it’s good to write things down. Tangents make a good premise disintegrate. Detours can be confusing and time consuming. If you have to keep reminding people where you’re going, want them to go—or are leading them—maybe you’re the one who needs convincing about the clarity and directness of the path.

You compensate people for working, providing a skill, or delivering a service, not their presence. You do not pay for friendship.

One encounter could very well spark a friendship, but time and experience cement the substance, and mutual understanding of it.

Don’t try to possess or claim people, or block them from establishing relationships with others. 

Be gracious. Don’t be too familiar. It will inspire skepticism, the swift formation of boundaries, and erase any access you may have had. 

What you have, may be opulent, fine, impressive, and expensive, but beware assuming that everyone desires, or is envious of it. Perhaps they’re noticing the obvious toll it takes from you mentally, physically, financially, and spiritually, in order to maintain and keep it. Perhaps they see little, actual enjoyment, and conclude it’s nice, but not worth it. That’s not the envy you secretly want to see in their eyes. It’s pity.

Use the words “friend” and “family” honestly, and not as a deceptive ploy.

Discern authentic hospitality, kindness, and generosity. It comes without strings.

Say “thank you”, and show appreciation when it is warranted. Say a polite “no thank you” as well, otherwise, you’ll be inundated with stuff you neither like, nor want, that reflects the tastes, wishes, and demands of others.