One day, in the future, a candidate will be sure that the
election is in the bag. Every poll will be in his favor.
Three days before
voters go to the polls, an unmarked package will be delivered to the campaign
headquarters of his opposition. Inside, volunteers will find a dusty, homemade
VHS tape of "The Maury Show".
They will scramble to find an expert in
antiquated technology--anyone who may still own a VCR.
They will contact an
elderly gentleman who was once an employee of Circuit City.
A copy of the tape
will be made and sent to the candidate's campaign advisors.
One day before the election, the flustered
candidate will hold a press conference and tearfully cite personal matters as
his reason for suspending his campaign.
A
reporter will shout, "Sir, would you care to address the tape?
Will you
confirm if those screaming people are your parents?
After Mr. Povich announced
the results of the DNA test, our research tells us that the woman wearing the
unusually large earrings is doing something called "twerking"? Is she
your mother? The woman doing a once popular dance called "The Cabbage
Patch"-- is she your late grandmother? The baby, Sir. The baby. Is that
YOU?
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