MONDAY THOUGHTS: BOUNDARIES

Some people have issues with one, or both of your parents, and have for a while--perhaps before you were born. 

Often, it's an in-law. Perhaps they never got over the fact that your parents married. Perhaps they used to be the beneficiary of material things and financial help before your parent gained a spouse. Perhaps they're still lamenting the loss of easy access or a gravy train. Perhaps they're just hateful, always have been, and it has nothing to do with you at all.

Since they can't annoy the person with whom they have an unresolved issue, perhaps because that person is deceased, they'll attempt to annoy you by default. Their annoyance prompts you conclude that there was a good reason why your loved one kept his or her distance. Furthermore, there was a reason why you were shielded from these people when you were a child. What many people get wrong is that children don't see, hear, and absorb what's going on around them.

 As the offspring of the person they resent, they have always resented you. You can see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices. There's no love, just envy and condescension. When they come around their first order of business is to show you who they are; what rights they have. The problem with some people is that they've never been checked. They don't respect boundaries, they're pushy, critical, annoying, sarcastic, tactless, and curt. They truly believe that what's yours is theirs. If they could relegate you to some lowly state, or make you disappear, they would. Instead, they cause conflict at every turn in their attempt to topple you from the perch they built for you in their minds--the perch on which they think they should stand. You have no reason to trust them. Their purpose for coming around is never without malicious intent. When you know that, you won't be blindsided. They can make as much mess and noise as they want, but it won't matter. It is a miserable, misguided individual who comes into another person's space and thinks it's permissible, funny or endearing to muck it up.

Their problem with you is your identity. You are an extension of the person with whom they had a beef. Don't even try to rationalize it all. Don't break your neck trying to appease people who are filled with hate.  Don't ever take on other people's fights, either. Don't even try to defend or explain issues you know nothing about. Don't absorb negative energy. People can only try to visit their dysfunction on you.They can transfer their problems with other people onto you all they want, but you don't have to accept it. They'll instigate a confrontation where you're merely a substitute for someone else. You don't have to entertain any of it. Engaging them is not worth the energy. Your politeness drives them mad.
 

Perhaps you couldn't do anything about meddling, strife-loving relatives when you were a child, but you're not a child any more. You can speak up now, and your boundaries are to be respected--no exceptions. The wonderful thing is that you have an ally who inspired a follower of his to write, "Be anxious for nothing...". The last time I checked, "nothing" still means nothing. 
Maintain your peace no matter who's plotting to raise hell in your presence. They'll burn in the very fire they kindle.

The enemy is always scheming, and his strategy is rarely new. Who he uses, matters. He won't pick some random person. It will be someone whose willingness to be his ally has the potential to cause irreparable damage--someone who should be in your corner, but isn't. When it is in someone's interest to side with the devil, they foolishly will--and he'll make a bigger fool of them every time. Loyalty is not his strong suit. Remember Eve?

When the desired result of the enemy's scheme is not achieved, don't be surprised if he lies low for a while, regroups, and tries again-- using the same people. What's sad is that some people are so invested in upsetting the peace and harmony that you enjoy, that they don't see the toll their relentlessness it's taking on themselves and their own families. Their mission to make you miserable has removed any trace of beauty or pleasantness from their own faces. Where they reside is a haven of dysfunction that is too much for them to bear. The tranquility and order you enjoy infuriates them and compels them to come and try to dismantle it.  How you respond to people matters. Don't give anyone the satisfaction of thinking you've forgotten how God skillfully and thoroughly handles annoying situations, and people on your behalf. You don't have to say a cross word, or lift a violent hand. Continue to allow God to handle it and them. Cast all cares and don't go taking them back. Notice what a good job God is doing? Why would you intervene? Give everything to the Lord in prayer, and relax. Don't dim your light or lower your standards. Don't abandon your post. Don't surrender to troublemakers. 

Nuisances want to engage you in order to rattle you, but they find that they don't like light. Expect them to push buttons. You need never respond. Except perhaps to laugh, or pray for them. When you stand and keep shining, it will expose them and their schemes. They will run with their pointy tails between their legs every time. Fortify your boundaries.
Busybodies will eventually tire of trying to move the unmovable. Just wait.