QUARANTINE LIFE: WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS

When I was a teacher, although we were admonished not to break up fights, it was hard to just stand by and watch. I wasn’t just a teacher, I was a mother. Always in my mind was, “What if this was MY child?” I understood the caution. In the heat of the fight, you could get hurt, or hurt the very children you were trying to keep from hurting each other. One scratch or bruise, as you reached in to grab one child or the other, and you could end up in court and out of a job. Somehow, not intervening was never an option. They weren’t animals that couldn’t be reasoned with. They were children. 

Back in the day, our parents hoped that other adults would shift into parent mode when they weren’t around. It was nothing for a complete stranger to check you if you were acting out in public. I remember my father pulling the car over to get out and help stop a fight. Avoiding collective embarrassment was a thing; you couldn’t let white folks see you behaving the way they already assumed you did, thereby making racist stereotypes credible. You just didn’t give people reasons for justifying and deeming you deserving of poor treatment and circumstances. One public spectacle supposedly made us all look bad.

I guess what I want to know, as I deal with what I wish I hadn’t seen, is, where were the adults? What was going on before the police were called and responded? Who were all of the people just standing around? Seems like a lot of balls were dropped, and another child is gone. This latest cry in the seemingly unending cries for justice, might not go the way that many think it should. Believing our eyes this time might force us to see what we don’t want to. 

It’s so easy to ask and conclude why people make certain choices. I have so many questions; so many what ifs. I saw three girls. Today, one is dead at the hands of police. I can’t help but think that two could have been injured or dead at the hands of the dead girl. Who deserved to be defended more? How much of a threat was she? Did she have to die?

I thought about my Dad again. He was a law enforcement officer. He said there was no reason to remove his gun from his holster unless he was prepared to use it. He also said, “The police are under no obligation to love you.” Did he mean that when you call, they’re not coming to reason or negotiate? When you call, they’re coming to handle what you apparently couldn’t? 

It’s easy declare and boast what you would do in your hypothetical, imaginary scenario. Truth is, you don’t know what you would do in any given situation—until you’re in it.