TUESDAY THOUGHTS: SESA WO SUBAN

Confucius said, "Wherever you go, go with all your heart.", but then, the prophet Jeremiah wrote, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

Thomas à Kempis wrote, "Wherever you go, there you are.", and Neil Gaiman wrote, "Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. 

The common denominator in all of a person's interactions is him or herself, and the contents of the heart. It's good to remember that. No one ever has to tolerate the you that you take with you.

It's awfully nice when others are glad to see you approaching--not so much when they have an inkling to throw an impromptu party when you leave. 

There is no law or rule, that anyone has to tolerate you being, or doing you, or accept you as you are...nowhere...ever. Only family members do that, and even they have limits. 

Some people have never been properly checked. 

Maybe parents didn't do it, and released spoiled brats into society. Maybe teachers, without parental support, threw up their hands, and longed for their summer vacations. 

Maybe others waited until they'd reached their breaking points, and decided that saying something would be a waste of words and time. Maybe it was decided that the "hard way" would be the best teacher.

It is sad when a person has no idea how untenable their words or  behavior really are. Perhaps their behavior has always been excused, laughed off, defended, branded as cute, or minimized. 

No one, whose words had weight, ever pulled them aside and said "Hey. Cut it out". 

They've gotten indifference, disgusted silence, or tolerance, but never loving truth. The words of anyone, who does dare to speak up, aren't received with thanks, but offense. 

They expect everyone they encounter to appreciate and embrace their antics as quirky or unique. When that doesn't happen, they don't understand; they're perplexed, devastated, hurt, and confused. Changing is never an option because they simply don't see anything out of order. They're just being their fabulous selves. Everyone else should know that. Any disappointment or loss they experience as a result of their own behavior is, in their eyes, always the fault of someone else.

We all have to conduct a regular, thorough self check--and be brutally honest about it. No. We don't have to be fake, or try to appease everyone, but self-evaluation is never a bad idea especially if there's a pattern of temporary in our lives. 

Truthful introspection may determine that it's not always them, and their patience shouldn't always have to be of the caliber of the prophet Job's in order to survive. 
The effort one exerts trying to change others would be better spent on one's own stuff. That's something that one can control. But if one sincerely moves through life with the opinion that one is more righteous than others, superior, entitled, and perfect, well... good luck in any long term endeavor that involves other human beings. 

Humility is a necessary thing; a wise and priceless thing, no matter who you think you are.