CAREGIVER DIARIES

I can almost hear my late Auntee Marion saying, "Messy. Just messy."

I detest those who seek to take advantage of ANY vulnerable person, especially seasoned citizens. Now WHY would this woman phone out of the blue the other day, to ask a barrage of personal questions? On whose behalf is she asking? Exactly what does she plan to do with the information? Who is she sharing it with? I have a pretty good idea. I'm happy that my dad's discernment is still functioning and the call was cut short. Some people genuinely phone to see how he is. Others, unfortunately, are just plain nosy.

What some people need to learn AND remember, is that it is NEVER a good idea to align yourself with unscrupulous people who seek to use you in order to either gain access to others (so they can resume fleecing them). 

Here are a few tips just in case you have an issue with a conscientious caregiver, (or are being encouraged by a con (who, by his own actions, has lost access) to get inside information for him:

1. Attempting to annoy a person's caregiver, sowing seeds of discord, upsetting routines, schedules, or an ailing person's environment is proof you don't care about them at all.

2. There is a huge difference between being concerned and being an annoying busybody.

3. Be very careful who you take your marching orders from. It's not cool to run headlong into other people's business. You could trip and bump your head. 

4. Never take on another person's beef. Sometimes, being neutral is best. Even people you love, like and trust can have off days where their judgement is concerned. 

5. Weigh whether the information you're getting is true or not before you launch into a crusade to insert yourself into the affairs of others. You have to know that the side you've taken is the righteous one or you'll look like a fool...and lose whatever access and trust you may have enjoyed.

6. Never be so pressed to have a personal or business relationship with ANYONE that you conspire with shady people. They'll turn on you the first chance they get the minute you step out of line. 

7. If you are not going to commit to being the primary caregiver, consistently offering help, or making yourself available in meaningful ways, go sit down somewhere and shut up. Your pre-illness motives are showing.

8. If you are not a member of an ailing person's immediate family, you have no right to any information...at all...NONE...period...so kindly stop asking.

9. Badmouth or betray anyone and you may be forgiven, but fat chance of being allowed back into their circle.

10. Think.

Many seniors tend to be very trusting, don't mind answering questions--AND they still answer their home phones. Beware of those who phone to essentially interrogate the seniors in your life about matters that do not concern them, (and particularly to gain information like Social Security numbers, bank, or credit card numbers). I would say they're worse than telemarketers, but that would be an insult to telemarketers.
 

Caregivers, you have a lot on your plates, but keep your eyes and ears open, and don't be afraid to speak up. Never, ever, EVER apologize for protecting your loved ones. 

The enemy's greatest feat is convincing people that he doesn't exist, or is harmless and innocent. He has some human imps who are trying to do the same, but they're just not as subtle as their hellish mentor--they just think they are.

 #ISeeYou 

 #RunTellThat