END OF THE YEAR

LETTERS I WANT TO SEND:
Dear Managers who post an employee outside in the cold at the broken drive-through speaker,
Give them a chair, a table, something hot to drink, and post the following sign:
TELL THIS GUY RIGHT HERE WHAT YOU WANT! Make sure the employee wears the FULL regalia of your business--the more distinctive, the better--i.e. A company logo-emblazoned, yellow, red, white, and/or striped get-up, balloons, funny hat, Ronald McDonald costume,--- or something--ANYTHING, that CLEARLY identifies them as one of yours.
Face it. A suspicious looking guy lurking behind your establishment, wearing a big black parka over his all black attire, leaning against the brick wall smoking a cigarette, who, when seeing a car approaching, suddenly comes bounding over and asking, "Hey. You 'bout to place a order?", may be the reason why cars are speeding off and business is slow.

DEAR POST OFFICE,
Some branches are clean...and have someone at every window...and a passport office...They should all be that way.

DEAR WALMART, CLINTON, MD.,
Move the "site to store" department to the front of the store...near the parking lot.

DEAR PEOPLE WHO CRANK UP YOUR CAR STEREO MUSIC AT THE GAS STATION AND AT RED LIGHTS,
Stop it.

DEAR APARTMENT AND CONDO DWELLERS,
When your neighbors can identify the song you're playing by the bass line alone, your music is too loud.

*********

NOTES TO SELF:
1.Keep popcorn, paper towels, toilet paper, Lysol and Clorox in stock in case it snows, or almost snows, or they say it's going to snow--and it doesn't.
2.Keep the cell phone charged and remember to take it with you when you leave home.
3.Verify, verify, verify. Name droppers will have you participating in all kinds of foolishness that benefits no one but themselves.


RANDOM THOUGHTS:

Time is valuable. People can't be allowed make demands upon it if the only one paying the price is you.

Nope. The design isn't faulty. Some things demand to be handled gently, or they simply won't work.

Some people will ingratiate themselves with your family, not because they love anyone in it, but because they hate the unity it represents and seek to destroy it. They will go so far as to abandon, neglect or ignore their own families just to keep tabs on yours. If you allow it, and expect your family to be enamored with strife-loving intruders, you're a fool. If you sit clueless as your family is negatively impacted by the inappropriate behavior of your friends, you're a colossal fool.
No real friend will persistently and deliberately cause friction in your household. Protect and cover your family. Make sure that you have set boundaries, or your family will be forced to do it themselves--and it may mean alienating you. People who treat others like crap, or condone crappy behavior have an uncanny knack of always wondering where everyone went to, and then blame them for making themselves scarce.

You're cool with some folk, until you refuse to assist them in ridiculing and gossiping about someone they used to call "friend".

Some folk prefer and promote ridicule and gossip, and consider prayer to be weak, useless, cowardly and outdated. Don't be surprised if these same people own Bibles.

It doesn't matter who says it. If something sounds fishy, investigate, then be wise with the information you find.

THURSDAY THOUGHTS: PUT THE "MERRY" BACK IN CHRISTMAS

Holidays bring joy and happiness to some, and knock-down drag-out fights and arguments to others. 

It wouldn't be difficult to have joy all around if folks would only cooperate. 

Cooperation, however, would mean abandoning one's selfish love for contention, and for some people, that's a difficult habit to break. 

In many households, things just don't seem to be right on December 25th unless someone is crying, offended, embarrassed, disappointed, confused, bitter or hurt. 

Happy holidays, it seems, are reserved for the people on TV. 

For some, it just wouldn't be Christmas unless someone isn't speaking to someone else, or is giving serious side-eye across the macaroni and cheese. 

When one is the cause, AND promoter of strained relationships, one can't very well complain or brag about what one HAS to do to deal with it.

Some people run their mouths, and keep mess going from December to December. They REFUSE to own that they are the project manager in charge of the implementation and continuation of strife and confusion. 

This holiday season, don't find yourself at odds with people because of what someone else said or did. 

If you just HAVE to be mad at folk, distant, throwing shade, rude, mean or insensitive, let it be because of what THEY did or said to you--not because you have been instructed/ encouraged to do so by some drama-loving control freak. 

The only thing some people hate worse than history is the truth. 

That's why they're obsessed with maintaining control of current events--and whether and how the stories are told.

Use your head. 

Pray for wisdom and discernment. 

Know when you're being manipulated, lied to, and conned. 

When the common denominator for long-lasting negativity is found, it may not be the person you suspected. 

It may be the person whose credibility, upon which, you would have staked your OWN reputation. 

There's a reason why some people want you to be at odds with others. If you get past being mad, judgmental, and critical as a result of what you've been fed, sit down, and EVER talk...Lord, have mercy..."seeing the light" will take on a whole new meaning.

It's never comfortable finding out that you have been systematically pitted against other people, or discussed in less than glowing terms--but knowledge is power. 

Knowing where you stand with others, is key to going forward more freely, in heart and mind. 

Some people think that you are the scum of the earth--not because of anything you have done, but because of what they have been told by someone close to you.

Walk in truth. If it means getting to the bottom of things, and finding out where the trouble ACTUALLY lies, it will be the best present you, your family and friends can give to each other. 

Forgiveness is not debatable, but you certainly can know who you can share things with and be close to, and who requires you to break out that "long handled spoon" that everybody's grandmother used to talk about. 

Don't wonder why your business is in the street, and then forget in whom you have confided. 

While you're picking up pieces of a story with your name in it (but you don't recognize) from every near or far alley and corner, is not the time to be mad at the people who are looking at you funny because of what they heard. 

Want to keep people out of your ACTUAL business? Keep your mouth shut--besides, folk are going to make up stuff anyway. 

Have something worthwhile and edifying to say? 

Shout it from the rooftops.

Don't buy into other people's wars. 

Don't allow yourself to be dragged into conflict or taking sides in a fight in which you have no interest. 

Pay attention. 

Listen. 

You can always find the holes and discrepancies in what people say, if you do. 

Forget about being offended. 

Harboring manipulatively imposed offense is the enemy to necessary, potentially enlightening, air-clearing conversation. 

Face it. Some people simply can't have you clear-headed and getting along with certain others. It messes up their program, cramps their style and interferes with their schemes.

A new year is coming. 

Declare it free of busybodies, gossips, schemers, manipulators, drama kings AND queens, imposition, rudeness, and all manner of inappropriateness that takes inappropriateness to a new and dangerous level.
Say what needs to be said. 

Quash some stuff. 

Stop mess in its tracks. 

Remind people when they have overstepped boundaries. 

Find the nicest most tactful way possible to put the brakes on nosiness and nitpicking. 

Let NO ONE sow seeds of discord in your field. 

No, friend; no acquaintance--NO ONE. 

Shut that down.

I haven't heard, yet, a nice way to tell people to mind their own business, perhaps because there isn't one. 

This Christmas, mind your own tree, and encourage others to mind theirs. 

When people start minding the short fuses, and broken ornaments on their OWN trees, they have little time to interfere with the tinsel on yours.
When YOU stop turning a blind eye to, inviting and allowing strife, and foolishly feeding on, digesting and spreading confusion, you just MIGHT just put the "merry" back into your family's Christmas. 

Peace on Earth starts with peace in your home...

#NowPlaying Rachelle Ferrell, "Peace On Earth" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XlIiBP9jQU&feature=related

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: CARE LESS

People only do what they are allowed to do. Others do what they are encouraged to do. You've got to decide how you are going to allow yourself to be impacted by the behavior of others.

Some people treat you horribly--not because of anything you have done--but because of what they have been told, and chose to believe. The longer they have been trained to hate you, the more difficult it will be to engage them in any meaningful way. You have to decide whether or not you will continue to allow them in your life at all.

There is nothing that you can do about what other people think. Put down that cross--especially if you have been carrying it since childhood. Lose your defensive stance. Stop expecting pleasant conversation, laughter and merriment. Ain't gonna happen. It is fruitless to try and sway the opinion of someone who doesn't like you in the first place. It's even more hopeless when the negative information they have been, and are currently fed, is coming from someone close to you. Nothing you say in your defense will matter. Sometimes people have to be made to see the light--even then, they'll prefer to remain in darkness.

Some people aren't going to try to get to know you for themselves. They'd rather operate on hearsay, and think the worse. Let them. You don't have to allow their behavior to rattle you. You also don't have to entertain them. Isn't it amazing how abusive, manipulative people want people around to abuse and manipulate?

If it is important to you to be liked and appreciated, finding out that you have enemies may be a hard pill to swallow. Finding out that you are held in low esteem by someone close to you may be even more difficult to accept. You can break your neck trying to please people, allow yourself to be taken on guilt trips, jump endlessly through hoops, and bend over backward for people, and still get no love, respect, or consideration. Save your energy. Decide today that the problem is not yours.

When you badmouth others in an attempt to gain sympathy from people, you just might get it, alienate the wrong people, and have to keep the pity party going indefinitely. If you want something, ask for it. You may not get it, but skip trying to manipulate people, or take them on guilt trips to get what you want. They may just call your bluff. besides, when you need help, it's the people you badmouthed who might be the ones who actually show up. How you treat others is so critical.

There's consolation in knowing that truth always prevails, and love always wins. Don't worry. Be happy. Seriously. BE HAPPY. You never know why some people do what they do. Don't let it tangle you up inside. You've got to know that "free indeed" is a good place to be.
A new year is coming. Go into it determined to leave behind any obsession with the opinions and thoughts of others--particularly if they do nothing to enhance or encourage you.
Care less about what people think, and what you know to be true. If there are areas that need work, work on them. But external drama? Have none of it.

JUST SAY , "I FORGOT"

Being unnecessarily suspicious and defensive takes a lot of energy. After a while you won't have to worry about whether or not people are trustworthy. THEY'LL just get tired of being regularly interrogated and constantly under surveillance, and stop dealing with YOU.
Making idle threats against people who know the truth only makes one appear guilty and pitiful. You can't get mad at folks when their actual, FACTUAL memory is working with as much, if not GREATER efficiency as your SELECTIVE memory. The presence of truth and proof makes being in denial, or sticking fiercely to a lie, that much more pathetic.
Say it's in the past. Say you forgot. Say you can't remember. Say there was a misunderstanding. Say you don't want to talk about it. Say you were IMPAIRED, even. But don't accuse someone of being mistaken or negligent. Don't call someone a liar or a traitor. Don't try to damage another person's credibility when your scheme fails, or your story won't hold water. Don't say it didn't occur, when it did. Don't say you didn't know, when you were actually notified. Don't say it wasn't said, when you heard it with your own two ears, or read it with your own two eyes.
Be honest--ESPECIALLY with things that aren't that big a deal. You don't have to go through the trouble of requesting that others charge it to your head OR your heart. If you forgot, Human Being, just SAY that!
One will never come out on top when attempting to cover one's mistakes by making another person look bad--no matter what the cause.

TRUTH, INTEGRITY, AND COURAGE

I was watching a program on which Dr. Maya Angelou was being interviewed. The following words struck me:
"Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently...Even when the person FEELS that they were wrong--I see this today--People who don't BELIEVE what they say, but because they have a HABIT of saying it, and are KNOWN as saying it, they're afraid to say, Listen everybody. You remember what I said last week? I don't believe that."

Dr. Angelou has a history of being right, but she really nailed this one.

SNOW DAY 2010

I never bothered to look out of the windows on last Thursday morning. I was busy preparing to spend another fun day with the Thursday afternoon Art Circle I'd met in the summer. I didn't look outside until around 10:30 AM. "Oh. Alrightee, then. It's snowing!" It was beautiful. It always is-- from the inside. Everything seems so peaceful and serene; the air seems cleaner, and when you have heat, and an ample supply of popcorn and paper products, what more could you ask? I couldn't chill, though. I'd made a promise that I intended to keep.
I asked myself on last Thursday, "WHEN did YOU become the lady who goes out into active snowfall?" Yep. I was out there acting as if I was from Chicago or something. Bounty paper towels are strong and durable, but next time, I'll just use the scraper...and have my gloves...and put my purse in the car, first. Fortunately the books and art supplies and paper were wrapped in plastic, but my cell phone didn't appreciate me allowing it to be covered in snow as I helped my daughter clear the car. The Bounty paper towels saved the day once we were on our way.

I had things to do, and places to go-- and I was going---very slowly and carefully, that is. My daughter did, too, and neither of us seemed particularly concerned about the weather at all.
We got to the I-295 exit off of Chesapeake Street, and there had been an accident between two vehicles. It hits you how grateful you should always be when you see a situation that could very well have your name on it. The way they'd collided made taking the exit impossible, and there was a police cruiser on the scene making sure that no one tried to maneuver around the wreck. 2nd Street, then? Nope. It ends in a nice sharp curve, and I don't care what anyone says, there was NO salt on the roads--at least not a single one upon which we traveled. We turned around, went back up Chesapeake Street, and hooked an easy left on Martin Luther King, Jr. Ave., figuring it was a straight shot to South Capitol Street- and it was. We made it to I-295 North, but it was slow going and traction was tricky. Some drivers were zipping along as if it was the middle of June, while others- like us--inched our way, making sure we kept a nice safe, even paranoid, distance from every other vehicle.
Our first stop would be The Boulevard at the Capital Center, then I would make my way back to The Washington Seniors Wellness Center. It was a little after 11:30. Surely, I'd make it back to DC by 1:00. Wrong.
I dropped off my daughter, and am pretty sure I took a tour of Prince Georges County. There was something about the snow and traffic that positively clouded my brain. Which way to go? The GPS lady had a serious attitude every time she said, "recalculating". Where was she taking me? Certainly not back to DC! I just stopped listening to her. Somehow I made it to Suitland Parkway, then Naylor Road, then Alabama Avenue. I have never been so happy to see a building in my life. Joe, my accompanist for the day, had been patiently waiting at the Center since BEFORE 1:00. He'd already set up his keyboard, speakers and mike. The elders who were there were so gracious. I figured if they could trudge out in the snow, I had absolutely no excuse. Between singing their favorite songs, reading stories and making decorations, I lost track of time. I was having so much fun. I was in no hurry. It was snowing.
By the time it was over, the snow, 2 inches of it, was on the ground. The rest, I suppose God decided to keep in one of his storehouses until the next time.

I made it back to Landover, and I think it was the first time I'd ever driven around the entire shopping complex. I'd forgotten my gloves so I stopped in DSW just knowing they carried gloves. They didn't. Fortunately, Ashley Stewart, DID. I purchased a black pair and a gray pair for myself and my daughter. Then I decided not to sleep on Chick-Fil-A any longer. God Bless them, their hot chocolate, waffle fries, and EXTREMELY polite employees.
I knew I'd be waiting a while for my daughter, so I stopped in Borders and picked up Dave Barry's newest book, and the new John Legend/The Roots CD--and some dark chocolate Lindor truffles...: )
The snow didn't seem to keep the ladies away from the salon and spa and it was delightful just sitting there among pleasant strangers--and even overhearing them talk about people I knew in glowing terms...whew!
When my daughter was done, we drove a lazy 40MPH all the way home via the Capital Beltway.
No slips, no falls, a few skids, but in the end, a very lovely day--snow and all.

SUNDAY THOUGHTS: KEEP PLAYING

When you needed a strong defense, they knew exactly where the trouble was, and from what source it had ALWAYS been coming, but they stood around and allowed you to repeatedly get hit. 

Some faked injuries, or kept quiet--fearing for the security of their own positions, or in an attempt to maintain SOME stability in their weak relationships. 

Others remained on the sidelines to see if you could run the play all by yourself! (Where did they EVER get the idea that you wanted to be a one-man show?) 

Another group didn't want you in the game, or on the team in the FIRST place, and refused to catch a single ball--but they found a way to criticize, accuse, and blame YOU for the lack of progress toward the goal. 

Even when YOU didn't see it, some saw the goal calling you. Many times it was literally within inches of you, and instead of cheering you on and realizing that YOUR victory was also THEIRS, they amassed personal fouls and penalties against their own team.

You've scored in the game, and would be greatly appreciated elsewhere, but you're still on the team--you're just not on their field. 

Some are ecstatic at the thought that you might be inactive, so they check you from time to time--especially when things in their huddle are falling apart. 

For some reason, if you're not playing on THEIR field, it must mean you're not playing at all, so they look periodically to see if they have successfully crushed your spirit and pushed you into the arms of the opposition. 

When they realize they have misjudged you, or face the SAME trouble they willingly visited upon you-- from the SAME players with whom they used to run--they seek YOU to be their sounding board, or to offer advice on how to proceed. WHAT?! Seriously? (It's true. What goes around comes back around like a rabid pit bull on new-improved crack.)

They aren't even playing to win, now. No. They're just busy. They've forgotten the rules, the objective, and the plan. They're just happy now if they can even get CLOSE to the goal. They're trying everything--even mediocre things--working themselves silly, and hoping to show you that they can win.

Why? 

You're neither the owner nor the coach. You're just a player, right?

It's okay. It's their issue--not yours. Keep playing. In spite of the drama, ask yourself these important questions:

"Is the check going to be the same?"
"Same rewards?"
"Same benefits?"

"Yes", you say?

Well then, by all means, keep playing...: )

SUNDAY THOUGHTS: COMMON GROUND: ART TEACHERS

I'm a little tired today. 

It's a happy kind of tired, borne out of doing what I love, and appreciating the detail-oriented processes and habits of individuals who care about the quality of what they produce.

I've been a part of a singing aggregation formed by African-American composer Richard Smallwood, for a little over 15 years now. How ironic that it is named "Vision". 

That I would ever be on stage, and not a happy ticket holder, seated in an audience, is still amazing to me. 

The last place I ever wanted to be, was in front of people. I always thought my life would be spent drawing and painting. “My work could be on display, and speak and sing for me”, I thought. “It's easier and safer that way, right?”

God sure has a weird sense of humor. 

Being a part of what God chose, and gifted Richard to build, is a constant, reassuring reminder that "ordered steps" aren't just poetic words. 

Our lives are connected in the most fascinating ways, and the knowledge of just how intricately our lives weave into the lives of others, makes you just shake your head sometimes--and smile. 

So often it seems that people become great overnight; are distant, lofty, and untouchable, and you'll never so much as get a remote chance to see them up close-- let alone talk to them for any meaningful length of time. 

You don't get to see the path they took, just the end results. You enjoy their labor, without ever knowing what it cost in tears, sacrifice, or effort. 

It's a privilege, however, to hear the stories of those who so inspire and motivate you, and know that they, too, have been inspired and motivated by others.

In the years that "Vision" has traveled all over the world, I've talked with Richard many times, but last night on the drive home from Steve Ford's studio in Delaware, was the first time that I recall Richard ever talking about his Art teacher, Miss Jessup. 

He was so animated, as he recalled the ceramic piece he made in her class. 

He talked about how Miss Jessup helped him fire it in the kiln, and how pleased they both were with the results. 

I asked him if he still had it, and he said he was mad at himself about some of the things he's discarded over the years, including long playing LP's, and photos, but he's not sure about the whereabouts of the piece he made so many years ago. 
"Have you ever heard of Georgia Jessup?", he asked. "Georgia MILLS Jessup? Yes!" I replied. She used to be at the "Anacostia Neighborhood Museum in South East! The Lois Mailou Jones exhibition is at the Women In The Arts Museum until next year. I'm pretty sure Miss Jessup has work displayed there, too."

Richard recalled how nice and encouraging she was, as a teacher, but had no idea of her prominence. To him, she was just that nice Miss Jessup who gave him an "A". 

I thought about how delighted she would be of her student’s accomplishments, now. 

We talked about his late mother's fine artistic ability, Roberta Flack, Quincy Jones, Aretha, Howard University, the Howard Theater, his autobiography, and a few other things, as we traveled along the highway.

I was in the company of a long-time friend, and yet, feeling honored by the opportunity at the same time. 

I wondered if he is even remotely aware that he is held in just as high esteem (by those he has mentored, befriended, and shared his incredible life's work) as HE holds those to whom he gives credit for inspiring him to perform it.

I thought about the conversation when I woke up today. I decided that I wanted to find a sculptural piece by Georgia Mills Jessup--or at least a print. 

As I searched for internet info on the artist whose name I heard so often in "Blacks In The Arts" (the mandatory class I took as a freshman at Howard University in 1978), and Professors Benjamin, Dobard, and Donaldson's Art survey/history classes, I realized once again just how small the world really is--and what never came to mind, as Richard and I talked. 

Georgia Mills Jessup, Richard's beloved Art teacher, is the mother of artist/educator/curator Rose Powhatan. I'd often run into her at departmental meetings when I was employed as an Art teacher for DC Public Schools. Rose Powhatan is the wife of MY beloved H.U. Design instructor, Albert Michael Auld. 

I didn't know how well-known Rose and "Mike" were, when I was a student, much in the way Richard never considered Miss Jessup's notoriety. 

Mike was just one of my favorite teachers, and Rose was his gracious wife, who didn't seem to mind the times he piled students into his van, and brought us to their home to look at art, read books, hear wise words and fascinating stories, or sample delicious food. 

He was "Mike". He always had encouraging words to say about my penmanship, he showed us how to use the opaque projector and other graphics equipment; encouraged us to enter contests, took us to The Islander Restaurant for "real food", and introduced us to roti’s, curry, jerk chicken, ginger beer, and cola champagne. ("Blimpie's again? Church's. Ahhhh. You all don't know how to eat! Come with me.") 

He was among the first persons who revealed to me that I could actually make a living in Art, and not be considered a sell-out.

I so enjoyed chatting with Richard as we rode along foggy, rainy MD-301. 

It was awfully late when we left Delaware, and I was determined not to fall asleep on him as he drove. It had been cold, but sunny and clear when we left Maryland. My singing buddies, Andrea, Stephanie, Darlene, Charrisse, Byron and I had spent the whole day inside recording, and didn't know the weather was quite so dreary until we emerged from the studio. Talking with Richard eased my anxiety about going back across the Bay Bridge-- when all we could see were the lines in the road, and the intermittent green lights above us. 

The ride reminded me how nice it is when you have more than one thing in common with your friends. You don't always have to limit your discourse. It also reminded me how nice it is to have praying friends, too. If he was worried about the road conditions, it didn't show...: )
I want to find a Jessup piece for him. Richard is a consummate art lover, and something made by one of his teachers, I think, would be perfect. 

It's been several years since I've seen Rose and Mike. I've reconnected with many of my college professors via Facebook. (It seems like I'm catching up with them in age, too.) I was happy to find yet another professor there today, AND here on blogger.

Yep. It's my teacher, "Mike".  
I also found that The Powhatan Museum is still right here in DC.
Maybe my search for a print by Georgia Mills Jessup is about to come to a happy end.

FRIDAY THOUGHTS: MATTERS OF COURTESY

I received the weirdest message from someone who came up with a bright idea to profit off of a long established annual event.

 

My assistance was being sought to honor a friend. 

I'm still not sure what my role was supposed to be, because when I asked what I believed to be legitimate questions, I didn't get answers, but a clear sign that an offense was taken. 

I guess I was supposed to know who the individual was. I didn't. 

I know my friend, though. 

I know that foolishness, scams, and wasting time aren't high on my friend's list. 

My friend is also a businessperson, and has for years had mechanisms in place whereby proper channels can be followed by anyone seeking his services. 

I greatly respect that.

If I don't try to circumvent proper channels, and I'm a friend, why should I assist anyone else in being slick and disrespectful? 

Too often people fail to regard human beings, nearly as much as they regard their own agendas.

This is a huge world. 

One really mustn't assume that everybody knows one's name. 

Identify yourself. 

Give people the opportunity to say, "Oh, please, I know who you are!", or "It's a pleasure to meet you". 

But, just plunging in with demands, requests, and questions isn't the way. 

Dropping names won't get you any further to your goal if the people you're addressing have no idea who you are. 

Even if you think they're supposed to know, based on your body of work, sphere of influence, etc., don't take offense if they don't. 

Just say, "Hello, my name is so-and-so, I represent this-and-that, and I am planning such-and-such. This is what it entails..." 

"Familiarity breeds contempt". Courtesy, on the other hand, goes a long way.

No matter how good your idea may be to you; no matter how important your plan seems, if you have to use the name or reputation of someone else to make it fly, don't be surprised if you are met with skepticism. 

People really think they're slick sometimes--playing on your vulnerability or taking advantage of your relationships. 

What makes people think that you have to prove the strength of your relationships to them? 

I was reminded of the reaction I got when I informed a lady that I wouldn't be able to attend a luncheon she'd planned, at which my late mother was among several posthumous honorees. 

"It's your own mother! I can't believe you're not coming!" 

I told her that it might have been a good idea for her to check my availability first before she assumed I would be there--and put me on the program. 

"I'm sorry", I told her, "but I honored my mother while she lived. Whether or not I show up at your luncheon won't tarnish my memories of her one bit".

Honoring someone is a pure, selfless act, void of any possibility of making a profit, or adding feathers to one's own cap. 

One either will give one's best, or one's last, without soliciting or needing the presence, resources or time of others. 

Honoring someone is not a spectacle or a show, if it's done in the right spirit. 

It doesn't involve stress or strain. 

It doesn't require an audience. 

Name dropping isn't required. 

One need not try to honor someone. 

It should be effortless. 

The consent of the person to be honored isn't even necessary. 

If one truly appreciates another individual, honoring them doesn't require some long, convoluted process. One need not wait until the person to be honored is in the vicinity. 

If one really wants to reverence someone, one will make the effort to find THEM, and make everything convenient for them. There's no need to use them, or their friends and loved ones.

*****************************************

So many people desire to be recognized, or to be important. 

When one's real objective is identified and called out, it's not unusual to be met with strong denial.

 

Everyone who offers a wise word, constructive criticism, truth, or a needed warning, is not a hater. 

Jesus demonstrated the futility in being defensive, answering critics, and believing one's own hype. He knew who he was and what his mission was. 

He wasn't seeking support or approval. 

He didn't ask "Who do men say that I am" because he was an egotistical blowhard. 

He wasn't looking for a fan base, or to make his own name great.

Whining and boasting about haters, actual or imaginary, casts an awkward, questionable shadow on an otherwise secure individual. The work at hand, if there is any, needs the focus, not the opposition to it.

Cherish the satisfaction of a job well done, instead of hoping that jealousy and envy will be inspired. 

Examine your motivation for doing what you do. 

If it's all about spite and competition, it will be sorely lacking in real purpose or enjoyment.

LESSONS FROM A GNAT

It's cold outside, and I was kind of rooting for the little gnat--until it began to repeatedly try and see just how close to my eyeball it could get. 

It's a pest. 

Why was I surprised that it kept flying so close to my face? 

It seemed to be taunting me every time I swatted, as if it was a giant condor. Then, it had the nerve to walk across the computer screen. Maybe it was the light that it needed. All it managed to do was further annoy me.

 
The gnat managed to make it indoors, somehow. Instead of appreciating the warmth and finding a nice spot of it's own, it decided it wanted to be wherever I was. It completely broke the rules regarding personal space. 

I tried to give it a chance, but it couldn't stop being what it was. Maybe it wasn't trying to get on my nerves. Maybe it was playing some kind of gnat game that I'm not familiar with. Whatever it's intentions were, it was going about them in all the wrong ways. 

It had to go. It's a gnat. Anything can take it out. Water, spritz, Windex. The envelope from the AT&T bill worked just fine.

Now what have we learned?

1.There's a subtle way to make one's presence known.

2. Every warm place is not a safe place.

3. When people don't want to be bothered, leave them alone.

4. Your idea of fun may be a headache for someone else.

5. Boundaries are a good thing, sometimes.

6. Uninvited access is not a gain.

7. Harm doesn't have to be intended for harm to be felt.

8. Being intrusive and annoying can be repelling--even fatal.

WAKING THOUGHTS

I'm 50. I really do like the sound of that.

Isn't it funny how easily that thing you simply couldn't part with before, goes into the give away bag today?

Studio sessions made me reevaluate and let go of my intense hatred for mathematics.

I have a feeling the infamous "they" and the threatening "we" are often the same lone individual.

Some songs are infused with enthusiasm.

I hate when someone is sad. I don't even have to know them. There has to be a way to help...There is.

Do not respond to familiar spirits. They already think they're close. Don't reply and feed already obsessive behavior.

The popcorn-themed surprise party is still making me smile. I have more popcorn than I know what to do with. I never, ever thought I would say that. If I didn't think it would be ungrateful, I would bemoan the fact that none of it is from Garrett's in Chicago. I have to say, though, the Detroit Popcorn is awfully, awfully good. I must pace myself lest I become known for being jolly.

I listened. "I really want you to participate, but I have to run it by someone else first". I really should have suggested that they refrain from acting on projects about which they don't have the final say, but I didn't. I suppose it's okay to want to appear important, as long as you don't involve others in the fantasy. What makes people think you're going to abide them jerking you around, or monopolizing your time? What is it about their inactivity that people want you to be appreciative about? Sometimes people with authority to DO a thing, cause great embarrassment to the person responsible FOR a thing. Be glad when you don't waste any effort on someone's whim. You can't do a favor unless the resources you use are yours.

11th CHAPTERS AND 28TH VERSES

Today is my 50th birthday, and I'm grateful. Last night I was surrounded by family and friends, and I was-- and still am, happy. I have raised the most thoughtful daughter and feel so blessed to have her in my life.

Just out of curiosity this morning I looked for the Bible verses that corresponded with today's date. I admit I laughed at some ("pick up your carcasses...wash your clothes"...I was moving a little slow today, and do have clothes to wash...lolol), but was encouraged and even challenged by others. I love the Lord so much for letting me see this day.I
 don't know how people make it without Him...: )

Here are the passages I found:

"While his father Terah was still alive, Haran died in Ur of the Chaldeans, in the land of his birth." Genesis 11:28
(How ironic)

Anyone who picks up their carcasses must wash their clothes, and they will be unclean till evening. These animals are unclean for you. Leviticus 11:28 (Everything is not for me.)

Joshua son of Nun, who had been Moses’ aide since youth, spoke up and said, “Moses, my lord, stop them!” Numbers 11:28
(I suppose I could speak up more.)

"...the curse if you disobey the commands of the LORD your God and turn from the way that I command you today by following other gods, which you have not known. Deuteronomy 11:28
(I definitely won't take this one lightly.)

"The king of Ammon, however, paid no attention to the message Jephthah sent him. Judges 11:28
(Paying attention is a good thing.)

"Now Jeroboam was a man of standing, and when Solomon saw how well the young man did his work, he put him in charge of the whole labor force of the tribes of Joseph. Kings 11:28
(Doing a good job has benefits.)

"...Ira son of Ikkesh from Tekoa, Abiezer from Anathoth." 1 Chronicles 11:28
(I'm going to find out who they were.)

"...in Ziklag, in Mekonah and its settlements". Nehemiah 11:28
(I'm going to find out where this is.)

"Those who trust in their riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf. Proverbs 11:28
(Leafy..love it.)

"The king of the North will return to his own country with great wealth, but his heart will be set against the holy covenant. He will take action against it and then return to his own country. Daniel 11:28
(What's the point in having anything and not acknowledging where it came from?)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
(...and He has done just that.)

"By what authority are you doing these things?” they asked. “And who gave you authority to do this?" Mark 11:28
(Wow. I could go all day on this one...lol)

He replied, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it." Luke 11:28
(I believe it.)

"After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” John 11:28
(Sisters...gotta love them.)

"One of them, named Agabus, stood up and through the Spirit predicted that a severe famine would spread over the entire Roman world. (This happened during the reign of Claudius.) " Acts 11:28
(After last night, if a famine breaks out, I have a year's worth of popcorn...maybe more...lol)

"As far as the gospel is concerned, they are enemies for your sake; but as far as election is concerned, they are loved on account of the patriarchs..." Romans 11:28
(Amen)

Everyone ought to examine themselves before they eat of the bread and drink from the cup." 1 Corinthians 11:28
(So true...nothing to play with)

"Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches." 2 Corinthians 11:28
(Lord, bring your churches and leaders back to your Word alone, Amen.)

"By faith he kept the Passover and the application of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel." Hebrews 11:28
(I love how God has covered my Lisa!)

It's been a lovely day...: )

THURSDAY THOUGHTS: BOUNDARIES

When you extend an open door to YOUR life, some people will wrongly assume that means they have access to your family members, too. 

If your family members are welcoming of them, and CHOOSE to establish relationships with them, that's a very good thing. 

However, you've got to know, care, and act when your friends deliberately wreak havoc on your family. 

You have to discern a gloomy change in the atmosphere when some people come around. 

There's a reason why. 

Find out. 

You have to sense the discomfort, and even fear that some people bring--especially to children. 

You cannot be oblivious to it, defend your friend's right to be in the midst, but ignore the warning signs your family is frantically waving.

 

You have to notice when people start disappearing or leaving, getting unusually quiet, or hiding their purses and wallets or other valuables, when specific folk drop in. 

Wake up. 

Sometimes, by not offering their opinions, observations and facts, your family is trying to protect your feelings and acknowledge your perfect right to choose your own friends and acquaintances. Don't think for one minute that their stance will be permanent if your friend keeps tripping, and making a nuisance of him or herself. 

If you are so pressed to have someone in your life, that's fine. Enjoy yourself. But if they are relentlessly and regularly pressing on the nerves of your family, you may have to be with them somewhere else. 

Don't muck up yet another holiday trying to force some unsavory character on your family. 

Your family has peeped your friend's hold card. Perhaps you haven't.

If you have foolishly given someone access to your family without alerting them, don't be surprised if your friend is met with mistrust and skepticism. 

If your friend is operating based on your inappropriately given permission, and doesn't get a clue that your family is not interested in another 'play relative', be prepared for problems. 

When you arm people with information about your family, don't be surprised if they use it when you're not around. 

Phone calls, e-mails, text messages, friend requests, invitations, and propositions from people you don't want to know, or do business with are never welcome, so DON'T give your family members' contact information to people without their permission! 

Definitely do not try and manipulate your family's Christianity by expecting them to happily deal with an obvious nut, con artist, scam artist, thief, predator, or familiar spirit. 

Don't allow people to negatively impact your family while you watch. 

Face it. 

Everyone who is a friend to YOU is not a friend to your family. 

Anyone who seeks to harm or destroy the harmony and peace within your family, is not a friend. 

You can want your family to like your friends all day long, but your friends have a lot to do with how smoothly those relationships are formed. 

If your friends have a habit of misspeaking, interfering, causing problems, are slick, imposing, shady, or untrustworthy, then don't count on your family to board the Love Train and come rolling up to greet them.

 

If your so-called friends have a history of mistreating YOU, although YOU may have forgiven and forgotten, your family members have not. They are the ones you ran to, remember? 

All your family knows, sometimes, is what you have told them. If your every word about your friend is a negative one, why on Earth would you suddenly expect your family to embrace them? 

Why do you want your family to sit around the table today as if nothing is wrong, when swirling around in their heads is, "Why is this lying, abusive, cheating, greedy crackhead here? Do I need to call 911?"

Don't let people annoy your family today. 

Don't YOU annoy your family today. 

Open your eyes. 

The reign of terror will soon come to a head if you don't pay attention and establish very necessary boundaries. People only do what they are allowed to do, and some people take WAY too many liberties when it comes to your family. 

If YOU don't say something to the monster YOU have created, and allowed to negatively impact your family, your disgusted family members just might help you. 

Distancing and isolating you from your family is the aim of some people. Don't let it happen with your help.

Now, if YOU'VE been The Annoyed for the last few holidays, go on. Get up, get ready, make your covered dish of whatever, and go. Don't anticipate problems. McDonald's is good, but not exactly Thanksgiving fare. 

Don't let someone's selfishness, greed, inappropriate words, stupidity, ignorance, arrogance, lack of home training, drunken/impaired state, or insensitivity keep you from spending time with your family, or enjoying yourself today. 

Remember your intense desire to see Jesus some day. That should keep you straight. Smile. Keep your cell phone charged. 

Keep your mouth shut--except for eating and affirming words. 

Even saying what you think needs to be said, softly and nicely, can often be considered "cuttage" --for which you will be convicted. 

The evening is for dessert, not sackcloth and ashes.

 

Resist the temptation to cuss out, or call 911 on a crazy, imposing, thoughtless, too-familiar, busybody friend-of-a-family-member, today. 

Stay out of the back of a squad car YOURSELF, today.

Respect your own limitations, though. You can do it.

It's Thanksgiving.

MONDAY THOUGHTS: MAKING PICTURES

I remember the time I had no love for computers--until I realized I could use the technology to draw and paint. 

I still don't have a MAC. 

I still like using the Microsoft paint accessory on my PC. 

From the first time I used a mouse to make a line, I've been hooked. 

I looked at the acrylic paint and the watercolor paper. 

I looked at the pencils and drawing paper. 

I really do love putting pencil or pen on paper, but I decided to work on the computer instead. 

Perhaps because it's faster. It's definitely less messy. Still, I won't ever put my pencils or crayons down.

I finished the drawings. I had so much fun completing them--and even did three different backgrounds, and added designs. 

I picked Adinkra symbols that I thought best communicated the relationship between the couple I was capturing. 

I sent the files to shutterfly.com, then ordered one large print, and two small ones. I had them forwarded, and was so surprised when I got the e-mail that the prints had been produced and were on their way.

I'm always a little antsy about creating art for others. 

There's always the possibility that they won't like it, and I'll have to start all over again. If I don't like it, that's just what I do, and I learned a long time ago that there really are no mistakes in Art. 

It's nice when there's freedom to create, though, and it's nice to hear, "I like what you've done. Thank you." 

I still think I'll do a pencil drawing, though...just because.

Happy Monday. 

That's it. 

That's all. 

Feeling grateful...: )

CLOSING THOUGHTS OF THE DAY

I've gotten a friend request three times from the same deacon. 

Each time, his name had been changed, but the photo remained the same, and the deacon title was still there-- making a mockery of whatever church he attends. 

Weird.

Last week I got a friend request with the message "Hello gorgeous" attached. 

Today the message read, and I sadly quote: "Hey luv i would like 2 talk 2 u sometime, inbox me yo #...." 

I checked the man's info, and just as I suspected, it was not a kid, but a grown man behaving like one...and he, like the deacon, has a wife...who is also on facebook. 
I don't personally know either of them. 

No. I don't make a habit of rejecting friend requests, even though my daughter has warned me about being so lax about it. I generally accept everyone-- although I have blocked a few crazies--who ALL happen to hold some kind of title or office at somebody's church! Anyway, that's another blog post altogether...

I didn't respond to the guy. I just blocked once more. 

I immediately felt sorry for the wife. Her wall and photos were so family oriented. Yes. I looked. His wall and photos? Not so much. 

To be fair, I imagine there are married women venturing outside of their marriages via social networking sites, too. Did people learn NOTHING from the trials and tribulations of a certain golf pro?

The message section of Facebook, and the DM option on Twitter serve many good purposes, but have, unfortunately, become the places where mischievously motivated, highly inappropriate words and propositions THINK they have a secure hiding place. 

I'd like to think that they're spam, and people just aren't that brazen. What makes people think that you won't rat them out? Do they already have a story concocted to explain their slimy behavior?

You may want to be put on a committee, a panel, a magazine cover, a list of the most influential or wealthy, a cruise ship, even---but do you really want to be put on blast? Anything you post on the internet can be captured and copied...and forwarded to anyone--including your spouse.

If your face and message can't be displayed on the public wall or page, the reason should be discretion, not deceitfulness. 

People must know that their actions are not slick and flattering, but pathetic and insulting. 

Don't they?

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I think people are offended when you seek to handle things in a business-like manner as opposed to a handshake and a smile. 

(Being burned repeatedly is a good incentive to go for the oven mitt the next time.) 

Some people look at it as a sign of mistrust when you seek to protect your interests. Sadly, sometimes the people who have the biggest issue with following proper channels are people who are in business themselves. Why is "under the table", and "on the side" good enough for everyone else?

When the manner in which you handle your own business is excellent in its efficiency, that should also be said of the manner in which you handle the business of others. Not with apathy, carelessness, resentment, sarcasm, deception, or attitude---but with excellence. Contracts wouldn't be needed if the first people on Earth who entered into agreements would have just done the right thing.

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Sometimes you wish you didn't know some things. Even when you do, be prepared for people NOT to react to things in the manner in which their previous opinions, conversations, and observations implied that they would. Sometimes people are just venting when they talk to you. Just listen. Don't chime in with your personal take on the matter. Listen. They mean what they say at the time, but you're nowhere around when their feelings change, or apologies are made, or reconciliation and forgiveness take place. 

Beware of taking sides when you've only heard one angle of a story. 

It doesn't mean that someone was lying to you or looking for sympathy. A person's perception of a matter is very real to them. 

Don't be shocked, appalled and confused when you see someone crying and in despair when you would have bet the farm that they would have been laughing and planning a big ol' party. 

Allow people to be human. Be a good listener, not a good recorder.

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No matter what the genre, the music industry is clear about itself. 

It is not a church. It is not a religion. It is a business. 

Even with the name of the Lord being regularly invoked, there is no guarantee that the products or the people making them are even remotely aligned to the Word of God or the cause of Christ. 

Local churches, on the other hand, can't be vague concerning their purpose. Pastors can't just swing open the doors and allow any and everyone to feed the sheep, sight unseen, just because there's a hot new CD to sell. Church folk shouldn't be forced or obligated to support something just because someone says it's gospel, Christian, or religious.
What one feels churches ought to, or COULD do, may not be what they SHOULD do. 
What one church does may not be feasible for another. What one pastor allows may not be prudent for another.

It's true. Every good idea is not a God idea. When sharing one's plan, one has to be careful not to offend or alienate the very people who would be most willing to help. One's attitude has a lot to do with whether one's cause will be embraced or ignored. Manipulative tactics, threats, and harsh talk is no way to get people to jump on board. The passion demonstrated concerning ONE thing, no matter how admirable it may be, can expose one's utter disregard for, and lack of understanding of the true purpose, and primary reason for existence of ANOTHER thing. 

I don't care how fantastic an idea may be. When it seeks to detract attention away from God and toward itself, it is doomed to fail.
No matter what the church experience has become, its focus should still, and forever be God. 

Some things are still sacred, and won't be easily turned into mere networking, self-promotion, or money making opportunities.

Houses of prayer STILL exist where worshiping God is primary---and promoting music, or anything else, takes a distant back seat. Congregations faithfully gather for weekly convocations. They are worshipers-- not convenient test dummies. 

Worship services aren't for the exposure of ANYTHING or anyone, except one's devotion, gratefulness and thankfulness to God. 

The notion that churches HAVE to carve out time during services and invite artists to sing or play, or be maligned if they don't is ridiculous. If they do, fine. If they don't, it's certainly their prerogative. 

It's okay to have something to sell, but no church body should be taken on a guilt trip for not allowing itself to be, essentially, pimped in the name of ministry. 

If you're going to a church, at least consider worshiping. If you're a member, don't ONLY look at your fellow parishioners as clients or cash-carrying consumers.