Tuesday, December 21, 2010
People only do what they are allowed to do. Others do what they are encouraged to do. You've got to decide how you are going to allow yourself to be impacted by the behavior of others.
Some people treat you horribly--not because of anything you have done--but because of what they have been told, and chose to believe. The longer they have been trained to hate you, the more difficult it will be to engage them in any meaningful way. You have to decide whether or not you will continue to allow them in your life at all.
There is nothing that you can do about what other people think. Put down that cross--especially if you have been carrying it since childhood. Lose your defensive stance. Stop expecting pleasant conversation, laughter and merriment. Ain't gonna happen. It is fruitless to try and sway the opinion of someone who doesn't like you in the first place. It's even more hopeless when the negative information they have been, and are currently fed, is coming from someone close to you. Nothing you say in your defense will matter. Sometimes people have to be made to see the light--even then, they'll prefer to remain in darkness.
Some people aren't going to try to get to know you for themselves. They'd rather operate on hearsay, and think the worse. Let them. You don't have to allow their behavior to rattle you. You also don't have to entertain them. Isn't it amazing how abusive, manipulative people want people around to abuse and manipulate?
If it is important to you to be liked and appreciated, finding out that you have enemies may be a hard pill to swallow. Finding out that you are held in low esteem by someone close to you may be even more difficult to accept. You can break your neck trying to please people, allow yourself to be taken on guilt trips, jump endlessly through hoops, and bend over backward for people, and still get no love, respect, or consideration. Save your energy. Decide today that the problem is not yours.
When you badmouth others in an attempt to gain sympathy from people, you just might get it, alienate the wrong people, and have to keep the pity party going indefinitely. If you want something, ask for it. You may not get it, but skip trying to manipulate people, or take them on guilt trips to get what you want. They may just call your bluff. besides, when you need help, it's the people you badmouthed who might be the ones who actually show up. How you treat others is so critical.
There's consolation in knowing that truth always prevails, and love always wins. Don't worry. Be happy. Seriously. BE HAPPY. You never know why some people do what they do. Don't let it tangle you up inside. You've got to know that "free indeed" is a good place to be.
A new year is coming. Go into it determined to leave behind any obsession with the opinions and thoughts of others--particularly if they do nothing to enhance or encourage you.
Care less about what people think, and what you know to be true. If there are areas that need work, work on them. But external drama? Have none of it.