WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS

When I was a young mother, the honest testimonies shared with me, by older women in the church, who were separated, divorced, widowed, or single parents, were helpful in ways I can only attempt to articulate. They spoke of things that many women avoided, or seemed to be ashamed of. They were candid about abuse, fear, failure, predatory behavior, missed opportunities, being silenced, feeling powerless, financial issues, and protecting the reputations of others at the expense of their own self-worth. Their main message? “You CAN do this. Your life is not over. You CAN be used by God. You DO have something to offer. Lift up your head.”

One seasoned sister even dedicated an entire service to pointing out to me, everyone in the building who was in no position to judge anyone else. She started with those in leadership, and yes, I was shocked by the tea she was spilling, way before spilling tea was even a thing. 

Those women offered support, and were encouraging, not haughty. While they were boldly transparent, in an effort to make me know I was not an anomaly, odd, alone, nor damaged, there were other, rigid, perpetrating women, who feigned perfection, claimed holiness, and hid, and masked the shame that had been heaped upon them with churchspeak, church work, and church attire. They thought they could dress (up or down) their way into God’s good graces. They danced, sang, and shouted out of pain, rejection, selective memory, and arrested development. They weren’t free, and everything about them—particularly their not-so-perfect lives AWAY from the church house—proved it. 

Sometimes, the most critical, judgmental, and hypocritical people, are those who should be on their knees 24-7, thanking God for the grace they’ve been shown, but they are so terrified that their own mistakes, choices, and actions will come to light, they become self-righteous and defensive of the indefensible. They are so consumed with correcting and controlling others, and presenting a FORM of godliness, that they are downright clownish, repellent, and cartoonish.  

Sometimes, the mistakes of young people are triggers that resurrect the long, but unsuccessfully buried shame of older people. Young people get beaten up in places that should be healing, educational, and safe, by people whose own wounds (from being beaten up by THEIR elders), haven’t healed. They need mentors, teachers, counselors, and guides, not monsters.

It’s sad when oppressed people become the oppressors. Perhaps, they just don’t know any better. They’re just repeating what was done to them. 

When ignorance leads, it perpetuates more ignorance, and chases progress away.

Caring more about, or stubbornly maintaining habits, traditions, and questionable practices, rather than taking a sober look at the state of the people impacted by them, is a problem. There’s a selfish, overbearing cloud under which people have been walking, yet feeling powerless to do anything about. It’s easy to create policy for something that you think will never affect you.

This “get over it” , “my way or the highway” spirit, is partly to blame for a lot of division, strife, and exodus. People will eventually say, “Enough”, to what they’re expected to accept as normal. They won’t see another generation abused and misled. After a while, respect goes out the window, and eyes are opened. Oppression can’t masquerade itself as caring— for long—without pushback.