'Be anxious for nothing..." ~Philippians 4:6

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: POETRY PROMPT: TODAY



You don't have to hide no more
Don't have to cry inside no more
Peace of mind, take flight no more
The air seems clean today

Little girl, no fear, no more
Teenager, waste tears no more
Woman, silence is no more
No trouble in your way

You don't have to waste your grace
Or politeness one more day
Being kind to those who've taken
And left you to pay

Though used, broken, tossed aside
Love's all you've ever desired

While wondering if your life

Had robbed you of your once true smile

Rejoice! You've outlasted it all
Things designed to make you fall
Here you are
It's wonderful!
The air is clear today











VRWc2019

LET IT GO


No one is saying you're wrong to feel the way you do
To not feel a single thing at all, is worse for you
But look at the hours you lament
Wondering where your time and effort went
 
Release all the people who've hurt you so
The pain that you're suffering they'll never know
Even if you flee, run, or walk away
The scars that you're covering grow day by day

Let it go
Please let it go
Before bitterness sets in, just let it go
Just let it go
Please, let it go
There's freedom indeed
Just tell the Lord what He already knows
There's a bright side somewhere
To ease your journey there, just let it go


When you rehearse each and every offense
And wear like a badge the years you have spent
Angry inside and seeking the day
When all who have harmed you
Are suddenly swept away
The current that sweeps them
Will drown you first
The life you could have lived
Yields no fruit, and worst of all
The God who extended love and grace, too
Is hindered from granting forgiveness to you

So, let it go
Please let it go
before bitterness sets in just let it go
Just let it go
Please let it go
There's freedom indeed
Just tell the Lord what He already knows
There's a bright side somewhere
To ease your journey there, just let it go









VRWc2019

Monday, December 30, 2019

POETRY PROMPT: INTUITION


INTUITION 

Premature congratulations
Slick, sarcastic salutations
Oh, so shady machinations
That's what came today
 
Funny how they think you're stupid
Who even has to be lucid?
Any fool could see right through it
Silly games they play
 
So busy thinking they're smarter
But they can't keep wet in water
Or stop Truth from fighting harder
To keep lies at bay
 
Surely they will wear themselves out
Worrying how my plans will play out
If they knew me, they'd cut it out
What else can I say?
 
So glad for my intuition
I'll just rest in my position
So grateful for my condition
Laughing all the way









VRWc2019

“Eyes Open Series” 5x7 colored pencil and ink on canvas, 2019

MONDAY THOUGHTS: I JUST LIKE TO SING

My absolute favorite social media post from a weekend in June 2018, (in response to a mutual friend's posted photos of the Capital Jazz Fest Tribute to Phyllis Hyman) read: "Omggggg. That’s Motha from the Richard Smallwood Singers!!" 
I got a really good laugh out of that “Motha”.

Sometimes, you forget about how old you are, until some young adult walks up to you and begins with "When I was little..." or "Back in the day...". 
Sometimes you forget how long you've been doing one thing or another, but the joy is in finding you still can, and people still care. 
You also have no idea what others think of you, particularly when they see you outside of the boxes and lanes to which they have relegated you. It's not even malicious or competitive all the time. It's nice that people are concerned if you're still saved, and haven't jumped ship.
Fact is, many people think you can only do one thing well, while others think that you, as a Christian, don't have any business appreciating other genres of Music--or working, or enjoying life for that matter. I've discerned those looks and comments in the past that asked, "What are YOU doing here?"
 
People are appalled, but you're on stage, and they're in the audience--soooo, there's at least TWO Christians gathered, and you know what that means--there are more! Nobody yells "Sing Vanessa!!!" like church people...lol...Ummm hmmm...I see you, too...and it's okay. LIVE. Have fun. 

I know who's encouraging and who's not. Those who aren't, have unfortunately ascribed to the belief that God is limited, and has run out of doors and windows to open. Everyone has people in their lives who are fine as long as you stay out of their way, in the back, and off of their stages. We all know those who are so enamored by who they are, and their accomplishments, that if they don't know your name, you must be insignificant. And then, there are those in whose company you have been many times, but they'll never utter so much as a "Hello"--until you're backstage wearing the same credentials around your neck as they are--and it's not because you're someone's guest. Why not make life easier. Just be nice to everyone?

I don't think there was any shade intended by the post, and I AM a motha...lol...but I'm keenly aware of the credibility, expectations, and confidence that comes with certain associations. When you're linked with great people, the assumption is that you just might be able to do a little something; you might actually know a thing or two, otherwise, why would great people bother? It can be a little nerve wracking when you're seen as a representative. What if you mess up?  That's where not only your ability, but your home training has to kick in. You shake off the jitters, behave yourself; remain teachable, show kindness and cooperate, but that doesn't mean you tolerate nonsense, bullying or rudeness or mistreatment.(Being well-known doesn't have to be synonymous with being a jerk.)

By the time you're a "motha", you know yourself. You know what you will and won't abide, do, say, wear, etc. By the time you're a "motha" you have the ability to give a firm and secure "yes" or "no". You have choices. You're keenly aware of time, and the value of strong value of strong relationships. You shun the clicks that promote themselves as friendships and networks, but they're really circles of gossipy, backbiting, people of mediocre ability who are all grasping for the same ring, and would just as soon cut each other's throats. Stress, and the people who relish in it, are not your cup of tea, neither are those who endeavor to turn what you love to do into a chore. By the time you're a "motha", other people's procrastination or incompetence doesn't constitute your emergency. Other people's attitudes and anxiety don't have to become your crosses. There will always be people who are willing to do what you won't--so you happily let them wear themselves out. 

Those who know me know where I prefer to be, and it’s not out front--that's a scary, dangerous place sometimes. I adore background singing. (I went to the theater and saw “20 Feet From Stardom” five times AND bought the DVD.) That's my super comfy comfort zone, but I was challenged by Allyson Williams and Avery Sunshine to dig deep and understand why. I'm grateful for every opportunity to do what I love, though--even the ones that required others, who could see what I couldn't, to ignore my internal kicking and screaming.

So many singers and musicians begin with such simple and pure intentions and lose their enthusiasm, minds and even lives. I guess I've never wanted whatever "it" is that badly. I'd much rather be lost in a sea of other singers and basking in the harmony we make. Even on the occasions when it was just me and a band, I don't even think they knew how desperately I needed them to play as if I wasn’t there. I needed them to lead. I needed to feel the music--let it bundle me up like in a blanket and carry me where they were going. That way I felt secure. I could follow. Following is safer when you're confident that the leader knows where he or she is going. I mean, I surely can't tell musicians what to do, and I can't play a thing, but the only way I can explain it is that when it's right, like it was at Merriwether Post Pavillion, I feel no fear or apprehension. If I take a turn, I know it's one they can easily make, too--and they've taught me, and spoiled me to the point where I think they can do anything musically. In those moments when it's right, this "motha" doesn't care about a thing that makes me sad, anxious, or unsure.  It's like flying and we're all going the same place, and they won't let me fall. Trusting the band. That's heaven to me. 'Cause God knows, I just like to sing. 

Fortunately, there are still people for whom, that is enough.

Sunday, December 22, 2019

EDDIE MURPHY’S RETURN

Laughter is so healing and helpful. I’m thankful for the great comedic people of the world. There’s an it factor; a natural, anointed gift that can’t be taught. Eddie Murphy has “it”. 
I enjoyed every minute of Saturday Night Live. Maybe it’s because I’m a television viewer of a certain age. SNL was the topic of conversation  high school. The satire was un-apologetically funny. Eddie Murphy brought something unique to the table when he joined the cast that made it almost imperative to tune in each week, and last night’s episode was preceded by the same anticipation I used to feel years ago. I’m still laughing when I think about his Buckwheat character singing “Respect.” 
I hope SNL taps him to host more often. From the tone of social media comments, he drew an audience that had long since tuned out. His characters and impressions were beloved back in the day.  His revival of them did not disappoint. The show could have gone on indefinitely. Bravo.








#representationmatters

Thursday, December 19, 2019

CHICKEN AND CHURCH

Of COURSE people will gravitate to, and enthusiastically share what is good! Why the outcry? Why the comparisons? Why assume that people who stand in line for ANYTHING, be it concert tickets, popcorn, or chicken, don’t also take voting seriously? Are humans not capable of concentrating on or embracing more than one thing? 

A consistent lament is that people don’t run to church the way they’ve run to Popeye’s this year. 
Well...what’s good about your church that would make a person WANT to come? What do the lives, reputations, practices, or activities say about your credibility? What are you offering? You or God? 
Don’t be fooled. God IS good, but much better than a mere cooked piece of His chicken creation. 
Let’s stop with the apples and oranges.

Popeye’s always serves chicken. No matter where you go, the menu and recipe are consistent. One is never confused about what one has experienced after leaving Popeye's. It’s always pointing consumers toward chicken. It smells like chicken. It boasts chicken. Uniformed workers are unmistakable. There’s no confusing them with another organization. Popeye's is a business, not a hustle.

Church, unfortunately, doesn’t always serve, represent, promote, or smell like God. When is the last time you’ve seen a church event poster with God’s name prominently displayed? Some just use His name, and the shenanigans going on in His name are perplexing, embarrassing, and ridiculous. Every church is not a place where the goodness of God can be experienced. One may, however, experience the foolishness, arrogance, ignorance, inconsistency, greed, and inhumanity of man— and be expected to pay for and accept it as normal.
 
Why don’t people run to church the way people ran to Popeye's? 
Let’s see... 
‘Cause church uses God’s name but not His recipe? 
‘Cause church is contaminated and off brand? 
‘Cause, based on the church antics they see on social media, they conclude that church isn’t synonymous with God (or godly)?
‘Cause those who make the recommendation provide no consistent, tangible proof, knowledge of, or experience with God? 
‘Cause they DID get their sandwich, but at church, they paid and waited, but never got the “blessing”? 
‘Cause they ran to church and found everything on the menu EXCEPT God? 

Maybe lines aren’t wrapping around your church because what you’re actually offering and promoting isn’t God— OR good.
Check your recipe.

A-GAME ALWAYS

If you’d rather not do something, don’t. Decline. Excuse yourself. Don’t ever think that sabotaging a thing is amusing, effective, or a good idea. Don’t ever think you’re throwing someone off by being mediocre. If they care, not only about their own reputation, but the good of the whole, they’ll  find a way to shine in spite of you.

Capable people who feign ignorance, incompetence, or cluelessness in a public setting forget that there may be others in the room who are equally, or more capable. Never think you’re indispensable. 
There also may be someone present who’s observing and listening; who’s interested; whose proposition could change or improve your circumstances. When you diminish your own ability, for whatever reason, it doesn’t reflect on anyone except you. 
Never mind doing the bare minimum because of the circumstances. Do your best ALWAYS. 
When you’re referred to as “professional”, most times it’s not because you get paid for what you do, but it’s the manner in which you do it. 
Don’t allow a bad attitude to cause you to be eclipsed by an amateur.
Bring your A-game consistently.

Sunday, December 15, 2019

CONFIDENCE OR INSECURITY

In my favorite film (released 80 years ago), the Cowardly Lion rapped, “What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the ape in apricot? What have they got that I ain’t got?” His fellow travelers to Oz answered, “Courage?” to which he giggled and replied, “You can say that again.” 

The Cowardly Lion led with aggression, sarcasm, bullying, and arrogance. Everyone was terrified and quiet at first, until he went after Toto. The Cowardly Lion had gone too far. Dorothy stepped up, and with her beloved Toto safe in her arms, slapped The Cowardly Lion. She CHECKED him. It HAD to happen. Essentially, she said, “You’re wiling out and acting a fool, but don’t mess with mine. I don’t care who you are, or who you think you are, you will NOT traumatize mine.” That slap stunned the Lion. He immediately began to cry, and suggested to Dorothy that she didn’t have to hit him. He implied that his behavior had been harmless. Dorothy disagreed and told him precisely why his actions were unacceptable. He then revealed he was just projecting confidence to hide how deeply afraid and insecure he was.

Be honest— if you dare. ARE you carefree, confident, proud, and unbothered by the opinions of others, or are you just hurt, scarred, wounded, misguided, ignorant, and desperate for attention, love and validation?
WHY would you cheerfully refer to yourself with a term that defines a dog? Why denigrate yourself at all?
When did being trifling and loving yourself become synonymous?
When did discretion and wisdom become bad things?



Who’s suggesting/ demanding/applauding that you do or say,(or wear) something for THEIR amusement, comfort, approval, curiosity, or entertainment? Why isn’t your talent ever enough? Who’s convincing you it’s great, but laughing at you behind your back? Who thinks they wield that much power over you; whose approval do you seek so desperately that you will VOLUNTARILY or DELIBERATELY humiliate yourself? Is there no one who loves you enough to tell you the truth, or are you bamboozled by the “Do you” slogan to the degree that you don’t even know how foolish, ridiculous, and crazy you appear? Is there no one to (like Fred Astaire did for Ginger Rogers in “The Gay Divorcee) sacrifice their own coat to hide your wardrobe mishap so you won’t be exposed in public? Are you deceived by those who are entertained by promoting and perpetuating stereotypes that ensure that you, and people who look like you (who are not even in your arena), will always be labeled, demeaned, ridiculed, oppressed and dismissed?

Was 8 years of the grace, dignity and intelligence of Michelle Obama too much for some people to bear? Did the way she carried herself force some to challenge every notion and belief they ever had? Was it so infuriating that her example had to be eclipsed once again by ratchetness? Are we done putting our best foot forward? Who is being trotted out, and I suspect, purposely elevated to be the emulated representative? Who and what is being muted or erased in favor of the worst exemplars?
There will always be someone who is willing to do what you won’t. That doesn’t give them the right or green light to appoint themselves your representative. Historically though, Black people have been treated like a monolith. That becomes problematic when one of us acts a fool. When one of us fails or falls, we all feel it, and are saddled with the ensuing shame whether we want it or not.
Is promoting criminals, thots, mammies, minstrels, coons, foul mouthed, illiterate, loud-mouthed, ditzy, dressed-up or undressed dolls and idiots the PLAN, so that a negative image goes GLOBAL and is cemented as the norm? Is there an AGENDA to perch the worst of the worst upon pedestals and advertise it as excellence? Will the best always be blackballed, cancelled, or considered anomalies? Who’s controlling the narrative? Is that why that “articulate” aka “well-spoken” trope STILL exists— because no one expects intelligence to emanate from a Black person? Is a Rochester or a Lightn’n less threatening and more digestible than a Barack or a Cory?

Lie to me, and depending on my regard for you, I’ll think it’s true. Tell me something wrong; uphold me when I’m wrong, and I’ll never get right or think I need to make it right. When I allow myself to be compromised, I’ll participate, albeit unwillingly, in my own destruction. Teach me that I’m my brother or sister’s keeper, and I’ll feel complicit in, or affected by every wrong move they make. Fictive kinship strikes again. Vicarious humiliation strikes again. The so-called Hottentot Venus is relevant again.
When will we ever learn to set the boundaries, that others have set,  that free them from absorbing random foolishness or experiencing secondhand embarrassment?

It doesn’t take courage to be gullible, ignorant, misguided, or exploited. It SHOULDN’T take courage to call out inappropriate behavior that encourages, normalizes, welcomes, redefined, or excuses exploitation.

#nothingnewunderthesun
#positiverepresentationmatters
#tropes
#BlackWomen
#images
#selfworth
#stereotypes 


Friday, December 6, 2019

20/20


A message from the American Optometric Association (to consider before concocting deep, catchy, self-righteous slogans, mantras, or themes for church, mantras, resolutions, etc.)
“20/20 vision is a term used to express NORMAL (not extraordinary) visual acuity. If you have 20/20 vision, you can see clearly at 20 feet what should NORMALLY be seen at that distance. (So don’t flatter yourself.) If you have 20/100 vision, it means that you must be as close as 20 feet to see what a person with normal vision can see at 100 feet. ( Humbling, isn’t it?)
Having 20/20 vision does NOT necessarily mean you have PERFECT vision. (Should you be leading anyone or anything?) 20/20 vision only indicates the sharpness or clarity of vision at a distance. OTHER important vision skills, including peripheral awareness, eye coordination, depth perception, focusing ability, and color vision, contribute to your OVERALL visual ability.

Some people can see well at a distance, but are unable to bring nearer objects into focus. (Never mind next year. What do you need to see NOW?) Others can see items that are close, but cannot see those far away. (If, by grace, tomorrow comes, are you prepared?)