QUARANTINE LIFE: SELF CARE

Simone Biles’ decision has probably set a lot of people-pleasers on a new road to freedom and self care. 

“Do what’s best for you” is the hearty recommendation, that is, until you say “No” to the things and people that have grown accustomed to your compliance and consent.  That’s usually when the questions, attitudes, and name calling begins. 

Quitter. 

Coward. 

Weak. 

Selfish. 

Unstable. 

Disappointment…

WHAT? 

Suddenly the go-to person, the GOAT ain’t all that? 

Please…

If she never risks her life or limbs by defying gravity, physics, and human limitations ever again, what she has done is, and always will be, extraordinary. 

Her feats and scores are forever in the annals of gymnastics, Olympics, and world sports history. 

Why do I get the feeling, though, that there will be an asterisk by her decision to do what was best for herself, as if it was a failure, or character flaw? 

As with Sha’carri Richardson, try as some people might, great moments can’t be unseen or erased.

Dear Everyone of Whom I Am A Fan, 
I assume that you primarily do what you do because you enjoy it, and are able. 

While I greatly appreciate you sharing, I do not require blood, sweat, tears, apologies, sacrifices, or explanations for your decisions made in the interest of yourselves or your loved ones. I respect your right to ignore unreasonable, inhumane expectations in spite of who else in the past or present chose, or chooses to disregard their better judgment, or work themselves to a frazzle.
Sincerely,
Still a fan. 

Had to make that clear. Perhaps the whole “doing it for the fans” thing needs a second look. 

What about you? Are you unashamedly doing what’s best for you? 

Do you think you can? 

Have you given yourself permission? 

Do you care so much about what others will think, that you continue saying “Yes” to stuff you know you don’t want to do? 

What happened when you said, “No”? 

Was it a shock? 

Was there offense? 

Were you asked why? 

Did you catch shade? 

Were you taken on a guilt trip? 

Was every time you said “Yes” suddenly forgotten? Who’s mad at you for doing what’s best for yourself? 

While you’re celebrating a stranger’s decision, have you come to grips with your own limitations? 

What double and triple flips are YOU attempting unnecessarily, that you have a feeling are stupid and beyond your limitations? 
What if you decide to decline what’s asked or expected of you? 

What commitment have you made that’s giving you second thoughts? 

Can you change your mind, and be at peace about it?

We’re in a pandemic. STILL. 

I swear sometimes it seems like people have forgotten that. 

The boundaries you’ve set, and practices you’ve put in place to keep yourself safe, are understood and co-signed, UNTIL, of course, someone wants you to relax, or ignore them altogether for THEIR benefit. All of a sudden, your routine should be set aside; it's not that serious; the mechanisms you’ve set in place don’t matter anymore. 

People act like they can guarantee that their plans, programs, and activities are Covid-free, as if they convened with the Coronavirus and all of her variant sorority sisters, and got a special pass. 

We’re all getting the same evolving information. Some are heeding warnings, while others are in denial. Some are putting in precautions, while others are being reckless. Doing what’s best for you can either guarantee safety, or land you, someone you love, or a stranger, in the hospital or a grave.

 
What someone thinks you ought to be able to do, based on the standards they’ve set for themselves, or outcomes they want to achieve, won’t work if you’re not fully onboard. It’s not about whether you like them or not. It’s not about the activity. In different times, perhaps you’d be the first to jump, twist, and hurl yourself at a task without even thinking. Times, however, have changed.

We’re in a time that demands honesty and wisdom. That, unfortunately, may mean disappointing someone. 

Guess what? They’ll get over it.