WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS: DOORS

My mother was not a fan of closing doors to hide disarray. She was a fan of a clean room. If what was behind the door was tidy, there was no need to feel shame or embarrassment; no need to have to hurry and straighten up to avoid judgment, or be exposed as a slob, because there was nothing to hide. There was no stuffing things into closets, drawers, or under beds just to get it out of sight. If the door was closed, however, it was because privacy was needed. You were dressing; getting ready; you weren't "decent". Access required knocking, and under those circumstances, boundaries were respected. Access was granted once again when you were presentable, and then, the door remained open. She always said, "Never leave looking better than where you came from". 

Some doors, however had to be closed. The refrigerator and freezer doors couldn't remain open. Access was timed. You couldn't just stand there and scan the contents indefinitely. You'd hear, "Decide what you want and close the door!" There were perishables behind those doors that needed a certain temperature to be preserved. Leaving the door open was a hazard. 

The screen door couldn't remain open. No matter how many times we went in and out, we had to make sure that door closed behind us. It's purpose was to allow fresh air to come in--not flies, birds or stray cats or dogs. Allowing a fly to come in made work for you. It was an interruption of whatever you had been doing. You had to find the swatter or newspaper--or something. Flies are slimy, contaminating, annoying creatures that destroyed the enjoyment of a good meal. You knew that because you'd had experience. Flies had to go...or die...but if you hadn't left that door open, it wouldn't have gotten in in the first place.

The car door had to be closed. A warning light would appear if a door was ajar. A draft would be felt. You'd hear the flapping of a belt that had been caught in the door. Although the vehicle could operate if a door was open, it simply wasn't a safe thing to do. A door suddenly swinging open was an accident waiting to happen. It didn't just affect the passenger sitting next to it, but the driver, other passengers and any other vehicles and their occupants that happened to be nearby.

Leaving doors open meant easy access, and although an open door is desired in some cases, it's problematic in others. Once you learn where issues, breaches, and dangers lie, monitoring doors becomes vital. The door to your hearing, sight, self-worth; the door to your heart and mind need not swing open all willy-nilly. Everything and everyone doesn't need or deserve access, particularly if they (or it) have proven to be purveyors of drama, trouble, strife, or disease.

Sometimes, closing metaphorical doors has been erroneously likened to the inability or unwillingness to forgive. It's a tactic and philosophy of the manipulative, opportunistic, and cunning. You can actually be quite forgiving without being gullible. You know what entered when you relaxed your discernment, were careless, or naive before. So, you learn the lessons you need to, and become more diligent about what gains access in the future. You are mindful of what you allow.
Some doors not only need closing, they need to be sealed...barricaded...and surrounded by a moat...with a dragon...the fire-breathing variety.