'Be anxious for nothing..." ~Philippians 4:6

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

CAREGIVER DIARIES: LESSON LEARNED













If they only knew that you
Are quite amused by what they do
When people can't manipulate
Or control what's on your plate
Expect them to slither and slink
Try to infect what others think
Then play the victim; wonder why
Their schemes fail right before their eyes
You'd think they figured out before
When they brought trouble to your door 
To add to your worry and cares
That double trouble knocked on theirs

When they know they're wrong, instead
Of acknowledging the thing they did
They look for a scapegoat in you
To hide their negligence from view
Assuming fault would be too much
They're much too self-absorbed for such
You'd think that with what's on your plate
They wouldn't seek to aggravate
Or add to what's already rough
Their trivial and silly stuff

When you're secure, don't be surprised
By narcissistic, hateful eyes
That glare to get you off your game
And search for ways to hurt your name
It's funny what some folk will do
When you won't let them rattle you
They'll pin on you the stuff that they
Wrestle with from day to day

With no regard for any space
Arrogance upon their face
Ignorance and pride in tow
Refuse to ask, but want to know
Entitlement is quite a beast
Deludes the mind, to say the least

There's enough work to go around
But they just dump theirs on your ground
Leave junk, and storm off in a huff
Then get mad when you clean it up--
And from their mess, bring order and
A peace they just don't understand

They cry foul about secrecy
When knowledge flows quite readily
But knowing demands sacrifice
And willingness to pay the price
Of time, attention, and concern--
Something the spoiled never learn
And so they cloak their gross absence
In gossiping and busyness
And preening for the cameras so
Others will think they're in the know

Two-faced; insecure are they
Deceit colors each word they say
Always scheming; always lying
Upset you're not bothered by it
Everything's a competition
Everything under suspicion
When will they learn what they've said
Began in their own hearts and heads?
What they want others to believe
Are stories designed to deceive
And make it seem as if they care
When they can't be found anywhere
Near where the actual work is done
And they're not fooling anyone
 
So threatened by competency
They declare you the enemy
There's no way you could be so nice!
No way you serve without a price
Surely there is something you
Are looking for, or why would you
Dare sacrifice the way you do?

They drive their guilt trip to your door
Mad 'cause you won't ride no more--
Or acknowledge their fake concern
Or give them any chance to turn
Or plunge a knife into your back
You've learned to have more sense than that

Why they're unhinged is crystal clear
They're losing touch, and draped in fear
Indicted by their gross neglect
Then angry they get no respect
Participation so sub par
But mad no one knows who they are
Biggety; always incensed
But don't do their due diligence 
Can't get attention that they crave?
So they attack how you behave 
They drag your name right through the mud
Not noticing as they do
They're ankle deep in muck and mire
And showing their true colors, too

Could have a life that they enjoy
God knows there's lots of reasons why 
But they're so fixated on you
They're ragged as they run and spy;
Monitor; critique you and
Can't juggle all their lives demand
One day they just might get a clue 
It so perplexes; burns them, too
You've done without their help--yes, YOU
It's not a concept that is new-- 
Envy plus guilt? A toxic brew.

 It's all that you've risen above
All the drama you're free of
That keeps them plotting every day
Of how to bring problems your way
You'd think that, by now, they would see
That you've a new philosophy
Permission's never needed to
Do what's best, and right for you

They judge and gossip with great flair
Draw wild conclusions without care
Decide you're what they say you'll be
Tell you off explicitly
You're nobody! You pale by far
When compared to who they are
You're expected to make them known
Promote their names, and not your own
They want respect they haven't earned
Want you to teach what they won't learn 
They want applause without the toil
Want anointing without the oil
Want credit without studying
Want points without doing a thing

They omit what they haven't done
Dog you to practically everyone
But those who care about a thing
Want the whole truth, not just a ring
But they need allies; now, poor things
They grasp at straws, and pull at strings
And paint you a miserable bum
In hopes that when all's said and done
You'll tire of the conundrum 
And they'll reign as the righteous ones

Their own behavior testifies
Why behind them, burned bridges lie
You're not the first one they've attacked
You've seen a glimpse of how they act
When they set out to smear a name
They want the world to do the same 
 Cowards all
Scared of the truth
So they solicit others to
Hear their complaints; assume their beefs
So they can get some sympathy 
They're quick to bash, trash, and demean
So they can wipe their conscience clean

The Discerning, who see all sides
Know precisely where the fault lies
The Gullible eat every word
Half-cocked, they repeat what they heard
Then wonder why you ignore them
As they boldly spew, verbatim
Every lie that they were told
The bill of goods that they were sold
Is a high price for loyalty
To selfishness, evil, and greed
If they only knew the truth
A bus is coming for them, too
Should they stop being complicit
They'll find themselves right under it

They're scheming now, and fuming, too
But that won't stop a thing you do
Keep your eyes open; your ears too
Once and for all be done and through
With everything that hinders you
Don't play small; don't you dare shrink
To appease what some may think
Though your integrity they mar
Be confident in who you are

Enough is what you've had of them
You're more free than you've ever been! 
Gone are expectations now
You realize, some way, somehow
You've managed to do well! Just fine!
In spite of all the crap they've tried 
And it's not new--way back when
The lesson arose once again 
You learned exactly who they are
Set boundaries, and raised the bar
You learned how they feel about you
Got yourself a long-handled spoon
So the next time they came along
To make you feel you don't belong
You were prepared; knew just enough
Not to react to stupid stuff

And today the lesson's learned
No more talk of being burned
And no apology from you
The right thing's always right to do
Useless and miserable are they
Proven by what they do and say
With no regard, and foul intent
They lash out at the innocent 
You've had a while to study so
Any response you can forego
Except silence--what's there to say?
They won't believe you anyway! 
Answer a fool. Go on. And then
You'll seem more foolish than they've been
So, save your breath for things worthwhile
Continue on in peaceful style

If you'd allow it, they'd control
Your every move; your very soul
But, because you don't, you see
They've found a new philosophy
"Divide and Conquer" is the way
They think they'll bother you today
Gang up on you-- as if that works
Exclude you as if you'd be hurt
But while they think you're ostracized
A team of considerable size
Who knows full well the road you view 
Has come to guide and rescue you
Encourage you; offer help
So you can rest; refresh yourself

Some things you really must let go
Some people, too, so I've been told 
There's more important things to do
Things that require strength from you
Things that demand clarity
Wisdom, time, efficiency 
Pettiness, and small minds just
Distract you from the things you must
Do faithfully each day, and so
You've no time to be in their show
Or give a rat's ass what they think
Too much is at stake if you blink
So, you stay focused
Keep in mind
Important things demand your time;
Demand your senses not be dull
Lest small things become critical 

Don't get caught up in silly stuff
Or snap, or cry when things get tough
Forget what busybodies do
You have a task in front of you
A monumental one-- you know
Has no room for pretense or show
There's no room for incompetence
Certainly not for clueless-ness
No room for trolls; no room for brats;
Opportunists or autocrats
No room for sly offers of help
From those who want to help themselves

Remember where to get your cues
Remember the best tools to use
Eventually, they'll tire and quit
And realize their baseless shit
Is having no impact on you
And they'll find something else to do
They'll go find someone else to hurt;
To use; to do their dirty work 
Soon they'll wake up, and they will see
Their schemes have failed miserably
They'll realize they're mad at you
'Cause you did what they wouldn't do
While jealousy and guilt eat them
Cause them to wile out on a whim
Just keep your eyes on pressing things
Note the progress each day brings

Forward is the way to go
You've real support, and now you know
Who's in your corner and who's not
Who hates your guts; who cares a lot
Who understands the gravity
Who sings, "This is all about me!"
Who's determined to sabotage
Who's there to help you duck and dodge
The arrows flying overhead
Shot by those who've always said
That you would fail, give up, and quit
They thought they could guarantee it!

But their words, plans, and foolishness
Have only served to make a mess
In their own lives-- while you have thrived
They can't believe you're still alive
And well, and still standing strong where
They've always said, "I should be there!"
But being there would mean that they
Would do what you do every day--
Roll up your sleeves and get to work
Not perfect how to be a jerk

They've no clue how problems are solved
They're too busy to be involved
They don't want the job, and yet
They want you to feel their regret
Your faithfulness just makes them sweat
Your discernment is your best bet
This lesson you'll not soon forget 
"Miss Hilly, ain't you tired yet?"
Is what you want to ask each time
They breeze in trying to supervise
Then bungle yet another task
Because they're too stubborn to ask
And too proud to concede that you
Know precisely what to do

The imps aren't done, but it's okay
Tomorrow is another day
Another day to stand and fight
Another day to do what's right
Another day to call out wrong
And be secure where you belong
Every day you see the prize
Don't lose the faith; don't close your eyes
You see the goal. Don't faint, don't fall
Rest assured, it's been worth it all 




VRW

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