CAREGIVER DIARIES: DIET

"I'll take "Stupidity" for 400, Alex."

"The answer is, "She has diabetes, high blood pressure, and a UTI, but to hell with the healthy diet, let's fill her up with some good ol' processed, greasy, fast food."

What is "assisted suicide", Alex?

"Correct.

"I'll take "Stupidity" for 500. Alex."

"Sorry. This category's done. We couldn't think of anything stupider than the last answer."

There are those who are a bit too anxious to help ailing people sabotage their diets, see absolutely nothing wrong with it, and will even argue the point, and suggest that they're doing something good. 

"He said he wanted some fried catfish!" 

"She said she had a taste for chitterlings and pig's feet!" 

"He drank a six pack of soda every day. Why can't he have one?" 

"I think she'd love to have a Big Mac some fries and a strawberry shake! It'll make her happy!" 

"I'm gonna bring you some peach cobbler and ice cream! It won't hurt you to have a little bit!" 

"When I'm in my 80's I wish somebody would try to tell me what I can and can't eat!"

"I don't see why she can't have some more salt on that."

"He's old! He ought to be able to have anything he wants!"

It's much easier to deny a living person than to mourn a dead one.

It's no surprise that people have no intention to stick around and experience the consequences of their thoughtlessness. It's always the case. Someone brings food that is highly inappropriate, in spite of their good intentions, but they're never around to clean up the vomit and loose stools, witness the insulin shot, get the ailing person back to bed, navigate altered moods, diminished brain function, and decreased physical activity, or sit in hospital waiting rooms when their offering triggers an emergency. 

When a person is ill, impaired, not in control of his faculties, incapable of, or even stubbornly unwilling to making wise decisions, he or she has the potential to do him or herself great harm. That's when those around that person can't punk out or lose heart. Ailing and aging people need advocates who are strong, honest, vigilant, consistent, faithful, informed, and firm. Condescending, weak, careless, unfocused, inconsistent people who are also too busy to be committed, are no help. People popping in every blue moon with their dumb suggestions, uninformed recommendations, and guilt-ridden attempts at contributing, are problematic and contrary. The attitude that someone is old, ailing and should therefore be able to consume anything they want is a reckless one. The goal should be wellness, not death with a smile on their faces.

It is exasperating when all of the energy and effort to restore a person to reasonable health, is slapped in the face by ignorance, apathy, and laziness. Unfortunately, help in undoing progress is always near. Those who have been out of the loop, are lax in judgment, don't care, don't think, don't ask, don't see, and don't consider consequences, are dangerous. They want to do something, except of course what they are asked to do, or what is truly needed. Too often, what they choose to do rolls back great strides and invites complications.

Being sick again after experiencing wellness doesn't make anyone "happy" or "satisfied". Some things are just not worth it no matter how good they taste. People who think you've lived long enough will kill you--with your help if you allow it--and think they're doing something...and they are. They're being irresponsible. 

Mind those who are eager to ignore reason, and give you what they think you want as opposed to what you need. What they think you want will never take much time, resources, or effort to acquire, and has the potential to earn you a few more weeks in the hospital. What you need may require actual caring, common sense, expense and inconvenience. 
What you need will facilitate wholeness and a speedy trip home--your earthly home--not Heaven.