My Mom had the greatest friends! When I see them, not only does their presence make me glad, but it reminds me of the kindness and wisdom of my Mom. It reminds me that my Mom wasn't just a mother, but a sister, a confidant--a woman---an actual human being who had feelings and needs, hopes and dreams, concerns and challenges about which, one's children aren't the least bit qualified to address or understand. My mom had sister-girlfriends before the term became popular. Strong, talented, classy, ambitious, secure, multi-tasking women of faith who maintained an impressive balance of professional/domestic life--without complaining, fainting or freaking out.
They also knew when to pivot. Change didn’t scare them.
I'm saddened today, and remembering Thomasina McFarland Costley--my Mom's dear friend Tomie--a phenomenal woman, brimming with cultural pride, moral and educational standards, and unwavering faith. She was a wife, mother, educator, and mentor. A graduate of Allen University's class of 1967, she was sharp, hip, dedicated, and so smart!
Every school system should employ people who not only have book smarts to share, but go the extra mile and actually care about the total child, beyond the school house doors; people who want for the children of others, the SAME excellence, opportunities, and bright future they sacrifice to provide and seek for their own. Tomie always confirmed a belief of mine. When you have information that could help others, share it. What good is having resources and knowledge if the only thing one does with it is brag about it, but never put it into any good use?
It's nice when your parents' friends demonstrate friendship in such a way that, when you become an adult, you feel fortunate, and don't mind or hesitate to name them among your own friends or "play" relatives. To this day, I know Tomie's phone number by heart--and sometimes have to think about my own...: )
I pray that God comfort her husband Mel, son Janon, and her entire family.
CELEBRATION OF LIFE:
Friday, January 28, 2011
11:00 AM
Mount Olivet United Methodist Church
1500 North Glebe Road Arlington, VA 22207
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What a beautiful and fitting tribute. I am a member of Tomie's church and I was Googling her as I think about her and came across this posting. I learned so much about her today that I never knew. Thank you for putting to words what so many of us feel. Also, thank you for your musical tribute today. It was soul stirring. - CC Clark
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