I was a little drained after Tomie's funeral on Friday. It still seems unreal that she's gone, but it's comforting to know that her life was well spent in service to others, and that she was a friend of God.
I'm so glad that my big sister could come back home and go to the service, and a late opening for school made it possible for my little sister to attend as well.
My big sister was right. It may not be fair, but there are some people that you make special sacrifices for, simply because of the tremendous impact they have had on your life.
We knew Tomie over 40 years.
Even Daddy said it felt as if he had lost a sister. Tomie was like one of your favorite family members who you're always happy to see arriving, and hate to see leaving.
Looking at all of the pictures of her in the beautifully printed program, brought back such fond memories. I know what the Word of God says about the dead, but the thought of Tomie and Mommy laughing and chatting away like they used to, made me smile.
My family decided to just have dinner together in Alexandria Friday afternoon. It was a good idea.
It was pleasant to just be with them for a while. Everyone had something to do, but we made time for each other.
I thought I had my plan for the remainder of the day all ironed out. I was supposed to drive to Ellicott City and stay at the Turf Valley Resort on Friday night, but after I'd arrived home, packed, and gotten dressed, I just didn't have the energy.
I knew it would be a mistake to take the drive. I was yawning every 8 seconds and just wanted to sit down. Before I knew it, I was asleep.
Friday night, I slept through the night for the first time in ages.
I got up early on Saturday morning, and took the drive. There was very little traffic and the scenery along the Baltimore Washington Parkway, and the exit to Columbia was stunning.
All the way, I was surrounded by beauty courtesy of the snow and the Sun.
When I saw the "Enchanted Forest" sign, my mind raced back to elementary school, and the end-of-the-year field trips we would take there.
It was such a glorious, colorful place.
It seemed as if we'd be on the school bus for hours trying to get there.
Today, it seems so close by.
Even far from its original state, it put a smile on my face as I passed by.
So much of the grounds of Turf Valley were covered with untouched snow. I took my time on Turf Valley Drive, and was happy to find a great parking space when I got to the hotel.
The prayer breakfast was so refreshing, and the women of Full Gospel Emancipation Life Center were as gracious as I remembered. (It's nice to go to a prayer breakfast where there's actual prayer going on.)
I even met a lady who looked as if she and my mom could have been sisters.
I thought that was a nice little gift.
The meal and the fellowship were just what I needed.
My room was on the 5th floor, and I was blessed with a spectacular view.
My room was on the 5th floor, and I was blessed with a spectacular view.
I was so impressed with what I saw from the windows and thanked God for the opportunity to be surrounded by tranquil beauty.
This morning I woke up, stared out of the windows and admired the scenery a little longer.
This morning I woke up, stared out of the windows and admired the scenery a little longer.
I made my way to the church, and so enjoyed worshiping in Odenton.
Even though much of the snow has melted. the ride back toward DC was just as beautiful.
I made it to Fort Washington just in time to see my big sister before it was time for her to leave for the airport.
I'm home now.
I'm home now.
The noisy, cursing women I could hear through closed windows made me a little sad for a minute.
I'd spent 2 days hearing none of the city's more unpleasant sounds.
I'd heard crying, praying, teaching, singing in so many different tonal qualities, but none of it made me want to run for cover.
Tonight, though, I was hearing hatred and animosity--and so was everyone else within a 2 mile radius.
Each woman's harsh voice crashed through the night air like a run away freight train.
Something about the night air just amplified their voices that started at the top of the hill, and continued all the way to the bus stop across the street.
Too bad what they had to say was so grating and horrible.
It suddenly reminded me of how frantically the sound man tried to get the microphones working at the prayer breakfast, but the acoustics in the room were so great, they really weren't needed as the women prayed and sang.
It reminded me of the sound at Tomie's funeral, and how the excellent sound system carried voices throughout every corner of the sanctuary.
It even reminded me of my trip to the beauty supply store a few days ago, where 5 other women and myself laughed and talked as we browsed the shelves.
There's joyful noise--that you want to hear, long to hear-- and then there's noisy NOISE.
THIS unfortunate din was being played out with no regard for anyone's need or desire for peace or rest.
It was as if they WANTED to be heard--perhaps NEEDED to be heard.
The bus stop was their platform, and the neighborhood apparently didn't have a choice of whether it wanted to hear them.
Is suburbia the only answer? I'd like to think not.
I imagine somewhere in the 'burbs there's an open air argument going on, threatening to escalate into a physical altercation--where someone is so angry, wounded, or hurt that all reason and decorum goes out the window.
The difference, I imagine, is the number of people being impacted by it, and how highly unacceptable it would be.
Surely there's a noise ordinance in DC, too.
Two police cruisers stopped on either side of the street. I suppose I wasn't the only one who'd had enough of the screaming and cursing.
The officers got out to assess the situation, but didn't stay very long.
One of the women yelled, "We don't need no police!" Yes they did.
They needed the police AND Jesus...lol
I felt for the children.
In my mind, the officers would at least take THEM someplace warm and safe. Instead, they just got back in the cruisers and left.
Not enough of an emergency, I suppose.
Sometimes, I think the police just get fed up and throw up their hands-- especially when it seems like the citizens they try to protect don't care about themselves OR their communities.
I don't know if a bus came, or if the police presence jarred something in them, and women decided that perhaps they WERE a bit out of control, but the noise finally stopped.
The close of the weekend was such a stark contrast to the beginning of it, with one consistent theme running through it:
People really do need the Lord.
People are hurting.
Help is available, but someone has to point the way to it--or boldly BE the help that someone else needs.
I suddenly appreciated my weekend even more.
I'm grateful--even though I realized that somewhere between Friday and today, the refrigerator stopped doing what it does best. No matter, though. It provided a late night opportunity to cook a meal I hadn't planned to prepare, share groceries with someone, and find out, for future reference, where one can find dry ice in the area at a moment's notice.
Some potentially aggravating inconveniences can actually be joyful, and remind you how blessed you really are.
__________________________________________
1/31/2011
Christmas day was spent just sitting around with my family.
No
stress.
No exhaustion.
No drama.
No intrusions.
Good breakfast.
Good
dinner.
A few snowflakes fell to officially say it was a white one.
Christmas
hasn't been the extravaganza that it once was when Mommy was alive, but
it was a pleasant day.
The days leading up to 2011 were pretty calm, and very educational and insightful.
The following occurred to me, on one day or another:
*Some people appreciate you more than you thought.
*Pride won't allow some people to be honest about what they want and need.
*Pushing people away is not the way to get others to come closer.
*Bluffing gets old after a while. Sometimes you just have to call people on their foolishness.
*Some people don't want your input, they want your consent and support--no matter what.
*Some people weigh what they are told, and question what doesn't make sense.
*Some people prefer to believe the worst.
*You can't fault people for believing what they're told by someone who appears to be reliable.
*If people know their behavior bothers you, and their aim is to bother you, any sign of your annoyance is a gift to them.
*Some people really don't know what's appropriate to say.
*Some people survive and thrive on confusion. Your peace of mind infuriates them.
*There IS a tactful way to tell people to mind their own business.
*Some people don't understand kindness.
Some people aren't trying to insult your intelligence. They honestly don't think you can discern their motives or see what they are doing.
*Silence is often mistaken for stupidity.
*If no boundaries are set, people will overstep what is supposed to be in place.
*Sometimes you don't have to say anything at all.
*You may be sought as an ally by someone who once formed alliances with others against you.
*Some folk are just angry and messy and looking for a reason--ANY reason-- to confront you.
*Wait for it. Some people will always tell on themselves.
*Anger has an uncanny way of turning to pity when you really understand the notion that hurting people, hurt people.
*Nosy people try, but can never match the nuances of genuinely concerned people.
*When you make up your mind that you will not be bothered, you won't.
*Love and truth always wins.
*The perfect gift is always waiting for you to pick it up.
*God DOES see and know-- and handle things and people on your behalf.
2010 didn't end with the big snow that we were all anticipating.
*Some people appreciate you more than you thought.
*Pride won't allow some people to be honest about what they want and need.
*Pushing people away is not the way to get others to come closer.
*Bluffing gets old after a while. Sometimes you just have to call people on their foolishness.
*Some people don't want your input, they want your consent and support--no matter what.
*Some people weigh what they are told, and question what doesn't make sense.
*Some people prefer to believe the worst.
*You can't fault people for believing what they're told by someone who appears to be reliable.
*If people know their behavior bothers you, and their aim is to bother you, any sign of your annoyance is a gift to them.
*Some people really don't know what's appropriate to say.
*Some people survive and thrive on confusion. Your peace of mind infuriates them.
*There IS a tactful way to tell people to mind their own business.
*Some people don't understand kindness.
Some people aren't trying to insult your intelligence. They honestly don't think you can discern their motives or see what they are doing.
*Silence is often mistaken for stupidity.
*If no boundaries are set, people will overstep what is supposed to be in place.
*Sometimes you don't have to say anything at all.
*You may be sought as an ally by someone who once formed alliances with others against you.
*Some folk are just angry and messy and looking for a reason--ANY reason-- to confront you.
*Wait for it. Some people will always tell on themselves.
*Anger has an uncanny way of turning to pity when you really understand the notion that hurting people, hurt people.
*Nosy people try, but can never match the nuances of genuinely concerned people.
*When you make up your mind that you will not be bothered, you won't.
*Love and truth always wins.
*The perfect gift is always waiting for you to pick it up.
*God DOES see and know-- and handle things and people on your behalf.
2010 didn't end with the big snow that we were all anticipating.
The funeral
on Thursday the 30th, that ended the old year, led to an invitation to
worship in the new year. I'm pretty sure I put 2010 on the check I wrote
on Sunday morning. (Yes. I'm still writing checks.)
I had such a lovely
time at Woodstream Church on Sunday.
Once again the world proved itself
small. The pastor, Bob Wingfield, is the same Robert Wingfield who was
in my sister's class of 1973 at my junior high school, St. Thomas More.
It's so nice to see what God does in the lives of others. It's nice to
know that someone is standing on the unadulterated Word of God--or at
least making a sincere, concerted effort.
The new year has begun happily, peacefully, and musically.
The new year has begun happily, peacefully, and musically.
It began with games and
black-eyed peas and cabbage, too.
I've had a great time with my family
over the past few weeks.
I always love it when my big sister comes home.
She came packing pralines, and didn't leave without making gumbo and
frying catfish. I drove her to the airport and hated to see her go. I
missed the days of seeing loved ones off at the gate as opposed to the
curb.
I'm glad she made it safely back to Baton Rouge last night. I have to get to Louisiana some time this year.
Today, I woke up excited. I had a brief rehearsal with the National Symphony Orchestra in preparation for the sacred Sounds concert at THEARC on Saturday. I'm looking at what I just typed.
I'm glad she made it safely back to Baton Rouge last night. I have to get to Louisiana some time this year.
Today, I woke up excited. I had a brief rehearsal with the National Symphony Orchestra in preparation for the sacred Sounds concert at THEARC on Saturday. I'm looking at what I just typed.
I can't believe it either.
I
really thank God for the opportunity.
Before it was time to go over the
song, I marveled at the expertise of my friend Nolan Williams as he
conducted.
It's always at times like today that I wish I had done more
than dusted the piano. Today, for me, was one more reminder that our steps
are ordered by God. Talk about feeling unqualified!
But everyone was so
gracious and I even got a chance to listen as Y'anna Crawley rehearsed.
One word. Powerful.
I drove home, and admired the beauty that Washington possesses in some parts.
It really is a spectacular colony...: )
I'm grateful, and prayerful today as I wind down. There are friends who are bereaved; others are facing health challenges, personal problems, career obstacles. Still others are excited about new paths, changes, and opportunities.
I'm grateful, and prayerful today as I wind down. There are friends who are bereaved; others are facing health challenges, personal problems, career obstacles. Still others are excited about new paths, changes, and opportunities.
I know that God knows and cares about it all.
My mind is
always on my Lisa as she prepares for the bar examination.
How I admire
her work ethic and determination.
I don't know what this year will bring. Yes. There are plans. Lisa's graduation, Richard's project, and a new business venture with an old friend, among them. Things change, though and I'm learning how to go with change, and not allow it to slow me down, devastate or paralyze me.
I don't know what this year will bring. Yes. There are plans. Lisa's graduation, Richard's project, and a new business venture with an old friend, among them. Things change, though and I'm learning how to go with change, and not allow it to slow me down, devastate or paralyze me.
I'm 50 now, and I
honestly think 50 brought a new calm with it. Not a "whatever" kind of
thing, but a "Lord, you've got it", kind of thing...and He's got it.
I
trust Him to handle it all.
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