My delayed response has surprised me
I asked myself, “How do you feel?”
“You’ve been awfully mute.
Don’t you have any thoughts?
Is there something you’d like to reveal?”
Then, I realized, I truly felt nothing
Is it age, or just the results of
Having history with dashed expectations
Or protecting the peace that I love?
Am I sad, disappointed, or worried?
Am I shocked, heartbroken, or grieved?
Would a preference for hate and corruption
Be a choice that I would have believed?
But it’s easy to note what has happened
When you’ve seen it so often before
It takes on a normalcy, only this time
It just doesn’t scare you anymore
You can’t bother to fret over evil
It’s exhausting— perhaps that’s the scheme
To keep you upset and distracted
Every waking hour, and in your dreams
I sense, a divine plan is brewing
And I’ve been made keenly aware
This fight isn’t for me to take on
I’ve no energy left to spare
There are no more reserves of outrage
No more stockpiles of grief
Gone are all remnants of anger; rejection
And frankly, it’s quite a relief
So, I’m gonna sit back and observe from
The comfort of my aged position
That all of my ancestors knew full well
And practiced with stoic precision
They knew when to cease all their warning
How to step back, and watch things play out
They knew not to waste time in squabbling
Or wallow in fear and doubt:
“Uh uh. Don’t tell ‘em nothin’.
A hard head makes a soft behind.
They’ll learn— one way, or the other
You don’t have to pay them no mind.”
The seeming indifference I do feel
Is quite possibly, confidence
That the owner of vengeance is real
And I have earned enough sense
To sleep, since He never retires
And remember, he won’t always chide
With forces determined to trouble
Oppress, undermine, and divide
VRWc2024
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