QUARANTINE LIFE: FRIDAY THOUGHTS

I’ve got one: 

People who can’t manipulate others, resort to name calling.

I have a sneaky suspicion that these philosophies, circulating on social media, are being touted by arrogant, self-righteous, abusive bullies, who are losing their strongholds. They don’t ever check, consider, or hear their own tones, barbs, and inflections, until they’re coming back at them, full throttle, from someone they thought was an imbecile, gullible, or a pushover. 

The argumentative folks who celebrate “keeping it real”, are secure in their position of authority, until someone, who knows better than to argue with a fool, decides to find a better way to expend their time, energy, and vocabulary.

Another definition for “communicate” is “to pass on an infectious disease”. That’s exactly what it’s like when confronted by some people, who call themselves “just talking”, or  “passing on information”. 

You just want to get away from them, and their aggression and toxicity as fast as you can. They are neither informative, productive, nor helpful, just enamored with the sound of their own voices, committed to their assumptions, and oblivious to the gigantic beam in their own eye.

It doesn’t take long, or much discernment to know when you’re being attacked, un-constructively criticized, or browbeaten. You can figure out when someone doesn’t want to exchange views, counsel, or educate, but are bent on dictating, demeaning, and lecturing. 

The worst thing you can do is walk away from someone who’s decided you’re their audience. You might as well have smacked them in the head with a 2 by 4. Who do you think you are having a functioning brain, and free will?

It never occurs to them that there’s a time to “agree to disagree”, and pause, or shut down the confrontation that’s masquerading as a conversation.

No one ever has to heed, or endure what anyone else has to say. Folk who think they can just say whatever they want, however they want, to whomever they want (because of who they think they are), expect, and even demand compliance and respect. They are awfully wounded, upset, and offended when they can’t control, convince, or sway others. They want and push to be heard, no matter how ridiculous, hypocritical, baseless, out of touch, wrong, unnecessary, loud, weak, or inappropriate their point and posture may be. They want to force others to listen; they feed on conflict; even start arguments, and sow seeds of discord to intimidate, and subjugate others. 

When these stress-loving right-fighters get pushback, silence, are ignored, or are fed a taste of their own medicine, suddenly everyone else is the problem, and they’re the morality police— hence the name-calling:

Too sensitive

Stubborn

Silly

Hardheaded 

Ignorant

Unstable

Worldly

Cowardly.

There’s a great benefit to heeding good advice. The truth has been known to sting, and hurt, but accepting it has a lot to do with who’s telling it, and how. Not wanting to hear or heed the ravings of a lunatic, who has determined that you owe them your ears and time, is neither a sign of poor communication skills, nor an aversion to accountability. It’s just plain ol’ soul-nurturing, peace-preserving, common sense. Besides, if some people only knew what the good Lord won’t allow you to say back to them, they’d shut up. 

You have to make sure your stuff isn’t raggedy before you crusade to fix everyone else with your self-approved brand of wisdom and knowledge. People have to want to connect; they have to want your help or advice. Thinking everyone else is stupid, is a problem all by itself.

Some people really need to stop being so eager to berate, change, tell off, school, and correct others, and soberly hear themselves. Stop with the “That’s just me” and “That’s just my way” nonsense, lose the air of superiority, back up, dial it down a notch, and reevaluate how they approach and speak to others. Maybe then, others will be more willing to engage. People receive what they respect. 

When you don’t hear yourself, you will always think the problem lies at the feet of those to whom you speak. You can be as right as rain, but your attitude, credibility, tone, and volume are the difference between being accepted, heard, and appreciated, and being totally tuned out— or laughed at.

Ain’t nobody got time for stress in these sorta post-pandemic streets. There’s a reason why people shut down, and the fault isn’t always with them—it’s what’s coming at them.