QUARANTINE LIFE: TUESDAY THOUGHTS

All of my good teachers were proponents of not only having information, but knowing the best sources to mine for ACCURACY. 

How, and where to look for the truth, mattered. So did discernment. Laziness wouldn’t cut it.

Before we took off running with information, it was important to answer, “Where did this come from?”

“Why would you look THERE?”

“Who did you ask?”

“Why did you consult that/them?”

“Is this current?” 

“Is this true?”

“Did you think about asking THEM? It’s worth a shot. They’re still alive, and in the phone book, you know.”

“I heard…” , and “So-and-so said…”weren’t enough. Perhaps So-and-so ought to know, but DID they really?

Proximity doesn’t always signal relationship, confidence, trust, or discretion.

Sources had to be credible and CITED. 

We need to make a habit of asking,

“Who TOLD you that, and why didn’t you question it before you accepted it as fact? Did you even bother to check?”

If you really want to know what someone said, thinks, feels, wants, likes, believes, will, or won’t do, ask THEM. 

These days, it’s so easy—TOO easy— to have accurate information about a myriad of things (unfortunately, that includes stuff that’s probably none of our business).

Sometimes, the most mundane stuff gets blown clean out of proportion. However, some things don’t require research or sleuthing. 

Just ASK. 

Although the access we have to one another, via social media, seems wide open, it’s limited. Still, there’s no need to depend on the explanations, opinions, or thoughts of persons B and C, when you have DIRECT access to person A. 

There’s no need in 2023, to post something that was proven to be a hoax, spam, a lie, AND a joke way back in 2013.

Just take a second and ASK. Google is still free.

What you heard, from who you assume is a reliable source, may be a concoction of that source’s eager, arrogant, or ignorant imagination— or manipulative nature. 

Wanna know something? 

Just ASK.

Sometimes, people really do mean well, as they push, promote, share, and hustle, but it’s not cool to speak for others, unless authorized to do so. It causes confusion, rifts, misjudgment, and misunderstandings. 

People tend to take representation seriously, and make assumptions—and draw conclusions— based on who’s speaking the loudest. They walk around with whole ideas and narratives about others, that have no basis in fact or truth, simply because someone dropped a name, or spoke out of turn. 

There’s complements and recommendations, and then there’s being too familiar, and overstepping boundaries. Taking it upon yourself to advocate for someone you think isn’t aggressive, competitive, bold, or assertive enough, may not yield the consequences, associations, opportunities or results you intended. You may end up doing more harm than good with your less tactful, bulldozer brand of advocacy. If you have an idea, let it be YOURS. 

“They don’t know me, so I’m gonna tell them YOU said…” is not the way to win friends and influence people. 

Don’t be an unpaid agent. Don’t be a bogus source.

Normalize asking.

Don’t speak for anyone unless that’s your job. Don’t cause people to have to put out fires and clean up messes that, they not only didn’t start or make, but knew absolutely nothing about. 

When in doubt, and out of courtesy, just ASK. 

Sources matter.