SUNDAY THOUGHTS: ACCESS

Knowing and respecting the difference between that to which you have been graciously granted access, and that to which you are entitled, will spare you from hurt feelings, suffering embarrassment, wasting time, exerting unnecessary energy, and incurring great expense.

 
Never make the mistake of assuming that what belongs to someone else--no matter who they are-- is yours to do with what you wish, whenever you want. You can't promise to someone else the use of, or access to what isn't yours. 

Rights and privileges are not the same, and neither are relationships. Your relationship with person A is not a pass to disrespect, overlook, undermine, manipulate, inconvenience, take from, or disregard persons B, C, and D.  

Your relationship with person A, doesn't mean that persons B,C, and D are under any obligation to: 
1. relax the boundaries they have set
2. engage you
3. trust you
4. entertain you
5. respect you
6. share anything with you, or
7. surrender what's theirs to you.

Don't ever confuse yourself about who you are, or think you deserve rights and privileges to anything that isn't yours. 

Don't ever delude yourself about that which you think you should be able to have, utilize, enjoy, occupy, or do. 

Keep your expectations realistic. 

When it comes to what's truly yours, you do have a say about it. You can make all of the demands, declarations, decisions, threats, and assumptions you want about what rightfully belongs to you. 

When it comes to what belongs to someone else, your rights disappear. 

You can say all you want, but no one has to listen or comply.

Access is granted not assumed. 

Access is not a given. 

The granting of access is not transferable, nor is it automatic. 

Access is a gift. 

Abuse, misuse, or get cocky about the access you've been given, and you'll quickly lose the privilege.

Your words, attitudes and behavior--past and present---play a tremendous part in whether you will be happily welcomed, or fiercely rejected. 

Thinking you can, without warning, bully your way into spaces and places where you don't lawfully belong, have no ownership, authority or responsibility, is the height of arrogance and insensitivity.

It matters, and is very telling how you approach people, situations, and how you consider and treat what belongs to others. 

Thinking you can commandeer what's not yours, exposes very ballsy and faulty thinking. 

What you think you ought to be able to do, may not be feasible, fair, reasonable, or right. 

Thinking you can intrude, steamroll, and force people to be bothered with you, or relinquish their rights to accommodate you, may be, at least, part of the reason why they aren't ever exactly thrilled to see you coming.

Want in? Check your attitude. Behave your way in. Try politeness, niceness, respect, manners, and humility. 

Wait to be welcomed. 

Want others to make room for you where you want to be? It may help to lose that sense of entitlement. No one ever has to open the door and expose their healthy, peaceful environments to the covetous, toxic, oppressive, and chaotic spirit that a sense of entitlement empowers.