Some people have been itching for you to make even the slightest complaint so that they can run in and implement their agenda—the one that your efforts and presence have delayed or thwarted altogether. You had better not even sigh within earshot of certain people. They pounce. They’ll have everyone thinking you’ve had a heart attack, and are passed out on the floor, with your desk on top of you, and your chair on fire. They are like heat seeking missiles when it comes to you--waiting for something to go wrong. They live to sense your exasperation and secure your failure so that they can say, "I told you so". Don’t you murmur or complain even a little bit around certain people. Before you can even blink, they will be at your desk wondering what’s wrong, offering fake sympathy and premature help, gathering others to point out and report what they think is wrong with you or your issue, and laying out their plan for what they think you ought to do.
That person on the job who is
1. always whispering to the boss about what you or others are doing
2. always looking for error, instigating, and interrogating everyone
3. always boasting about what they're doing that has nothing to do with the task at hand
4. suddenly mum when you enter the room
5. incapable of looking you in the face because they’ve undermined and schemed against you so often
6. always trying to seem more knowledgeable and informed than they are
7. always sabotaging the task with inappropriate or unsuitable input
8. frustrated and dumbfounded that you’re still at your desk in spite of their efforts to usurp it
THAT’S the one, in the company of whom, you MUST censor yourself no matter HOW badly you need to vent. The weather and the time of day--THAT’S what you share with them. That's it. That's all. PERIOD. If you have an issue, and there’s no one around except Gossipy McShadyboots? You’d better talk to Jesus…or yourself.
Go on. Bump your head and confide in a shady person about your problem, but look into their eyes. You’ll see the glee. Your suffering gives them life. Shut up immediately. Change the subject. When they ask you how you are, “I’m fine and you?” is the best reply. Do not embellish. Don’t give up details. Their advice, suggestions and solutions will ALWAYS be blatantly self-serving, born out of envy, a sense of entitlement, or a need to compete, and NOT out of a sober grasp of the gravity of your situation or assignment. They will immediately point out all of your faults and missteps, and they will do it so WELL that you will, or SHOULD know that they’ve been holding conversations and keeping an eagle eye on you for a very long time. That eagle eye will quickly transform into a buzzard eye the second they think you’re on your last leg. Even if you ARE limping, when in their presence, you’d better get yourself together and walk like Tyra Banks on her best day.
Confide in a shady person, and their advice will be ridiculous, lacking in integrity, compassion, reason, common sense, understanding and wisdom. It will be void of caring about you, the task, and anyone else involved in the task. Their two cents will be all about what will best suit them. All they truly care about is how they can be promoted, what they can get, how they can secure their position, how they can benefit, and how soon they can set about erasing every trace of you or your efforts.
To them, your turn has been up for quite a while. Actually, if it was up to them, you wouldn’t have HAD a turn at all with which to demonstrate your competence. The fact that you have succeeded infuriates them. Their goal is that you quit, and they’d like to give you all the reasons why you should. Their real hope is that you be terminated, and they’ve been sowing every possible seed to facilitate that, too. Any murmuring from you is just the molehill they need to construct the mountain that they hope will fall on you. They have no desire at all to help you in ways that count. Everything they do, or recommend is a temporary band-aid. Their actions are full of pretense. They like to pretend to work, pretend to consistently contribute, be seen demonstrating concern, and are good at photo ops that make it appear that they are contributing something substantial. Anything they do demands an audience and a pat on the back. If it can’t be seen or announced, they’re not doing it. They have no intention to do what you do, or put in the amount of time you have, but they are so self-absorbed that even as you labor, all they are preoccupied with are the benefits they think you’re receiving—benefits they think THEY deserve for doing nothing.
The sad part is that they usually aren’t suffering. They have a lot on their own plates, and a lot for which to be thankful and grateful-- if they'd take their eyes off of you long enough to notice. They simply aren't satisfied with what they have. They want what they think you have, too.
It’s unfortunate if you had a lapse and confided in the wrong person, but you're a complete idiot if you continue to do it, or take them or their “advice” seriously. If they were to step into your situation, you could bank on how rapidly things would fall apart, change for the worst, and how swiftly they would implement all of the safeguards, benefits, and resources they argued that you could do without. They won’t be denied anything, but you? They expect you to ration even basic necessities. You should be able to function with little or nothing. They don't think the job takes "all that"—that is until they have to do it. They would demand "all that" and some more.
Maya was right—“When people show you who they are THE FIRST TIME, believe them”. Trust your instincts. Know who's sincerely got your back--and they're not all "yes" people. Stop confiding in people who you have discovered are not genuinely concerned about you, your circumstances, or the bottom line. Their suggestions and solutions will always leave you at a disadvantage or facing a deficit. Don’t check your brain or discernment at the door. You don’t have to be paranoid. Keep working, but keep your eyes open. Remember the principal thing--doing the most efficient, effective, honest job you can do.
#justkeepgoing
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