One must consider why one is approached and fed certain information, or asked certain questions. There's a difference between small talk and an interrogation. Know when your thoughts are being sought, and when you're being baited for information intended to be used against you, or to drive a wedge between you and someone else.
Speculation is often the unfortunate result of a failure to obtain the information one seeks. It shouldn't be done where others might hear, though. One will only appear weak and foolish while groveling, backpedaling and apologizing for /believing spreading tall tales.
If one wants to know something, one should ask--provided, of course, that the information desired is any of one's business. What one shouldn't do is make up stuff to satisfy one's own prejudices, opinions, hopes, or love affair with strife and general messiness. Sometimes the truth simply isn't as interesting as one would like. It can be downright boring. That's still no excuse to lie.
When one is seeking to cover one's less than ethical tracks, it's not unusual to see others thrown under proverbial buses by way of less than truthful words. It's a common practice for people to either demonize, trivialize or ostracize those who fail to go along with the program. Being an individual, or having a mind of one's own isn't always encouraged or applauded especially in a climate that thrives on confusion.
When one is looking for a way in, or a way to stay in the good graces of others, becoming a gossiping, scheming, two-faced, spying, brown noser can't be the only option. ( How DO people talk about others so negatively, and then seek them out; hang around them and smile in their faces? I have NEVER figured that one out. )
Too many people are wondering why they are no longer the persons in which others confide; they're wondering why others have decided to keep their distance. Eventually they will figure out that the reason has a lot to do with a failure to master honesty, loyalty and trustworthiness. With some people, you have to limit your conversation to bland subjects like "the weather" and "the time of day". That way, if you hear your contribution to conversations being repeated by someone else, it won't be quite so shocking.
Often people will confer to discuss what's wrong with you. Why aren't you talking? Why aren't you joining the crowd? Why aren't you going along to get along? It's not that you're introverted, stuck up, mad, or anti-social. What you are is observant. You know how guilt by association works. What's "wrong" is that you're not a fan of cattiness, gossip, or any other brand of inappropriate social behavior, and try to stay as far away from it as you can. Grandma was always spewing gems and you remember them: "If they'll talk about them to you, they'll talk about you to them."
Making a point to avoid confusion won't stop people from indirectly drawing you in. There's not much you can do about that, I suppose. Fortunately, Truth has a way of standing strong and needs no defense. No matter what others do or say, be honest. Be truthful. Recognize boundaries. Shun mess. Sharpen discernment. Know who's in your company. Seek wisdom. Think before speaking. Use those filters. Worry less about fitting in and more about integrity.
Keep your nose clean. Mind your own business. Weigh your words.
Speculation is often the unfortunate result of a failure to obtain the information one seeks. It shouldn't be done where others might hear, though. One will only appear weak and foolish while groveling, backpedaling and apologizing for /believing spreading tall tales.
If one wants to know something, one should ask--provided, of course, that the information desired is any of one's business. What one shouldn't do is make up stuff to satisfy one's own prejudices, opinions, hopes, or love affair with strife and general messiness. Sometimes the truth simply isn't as interesting as one would like. It can be downright boring. That's still no excuse to lie.
When one is seeking to cover one's less than ethical tracks, it's not unusual to see others thrown under proverbial buses by way of less than truthful words. It's a common practice for people to either demonize, trivialize or ostracize those who fail to go along with the program. Being an individual, or having a mind of one's own isn't always encouraged or applauded especially in a climate that thrives on confusion.
When one is looking for a way in, or a way to stay in the good graces of others, becoming a gossiping, scheming, two-faced, spying, brown noser can't be the only option. ( How DO people talk about others so negatively, and then seek them out; hang around them and smile in their faces? I have NEVER figured that one out. )
Too many people are wondering why they are no longer the persons in which others confide; they're wondering why others have decided to keep their distance. Eventually they will figure out that the reason has a lot to do with a failure to master honesty, loyalty and trustworthiness. With some people, you have to limit your conversation to bland subjects like "the weather" and "the time of day". That way, if you hear your contribution to conversations being repeated by someone else, it won't be quite so shocking.
Often people will confer to discuss what's wrong with you. Why aren't you talking? Why aren't you joining the crowd? Why aren't you going along to get along? It's not that you're introverted, stuck up, mad, or anti-social. What you are is observant. You know how guilt by association works. What's "wrong" is that you're not a fan of cattiness, gossip, or any other brand of inappropriate social behavior, and try to stay as far away from it as you can. Grandma was always spewing gems and you remember them: "If they'll talk about them to you, they'll talk about you to them."
Making a point to avoid confusion won't stop people from indirectly drawing you in. There's not much you can do about that, I suppose. Fortunately, Truth has a way of standing strong and needs no defense. No matter what others do or say, be honest. Be truthful. Recognize boundaries. Shun mess. Sharpen discernment. Know who's in your company. Seek wisdom. Think before speaking. Use those filters. Worry less about fitting in and more about integrity.
Keep your nose clean. Mind your own business. Weigh your words.
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