'Be anxious for nothing..." ~Philippians 4:6

Thursday, April 1, 2010

STAND UP

“Easy going” is not synonymous with passivity or ignorance. Silence doesn’t indicate inattention to detail.
At some point, a pattern of behavior becomes problematic and requires a closer look—and a word.
When you inquire about anything that directly affects or involves you, it shouldn’t be a daring, risky, nerve wracking, or dangerous move. The thought of asking questions shouldn’t fill you with fear or dread—nor should you lose sleep about being labeled difficult, haughty, uncooperative, suspicious or accusatory. You are being RESPONSIBLE. Blind trust is reserved for God, alone.
When it comes to things that concern you, any questions you have are for your benefit and peace of mind. It is your right to ask.

“Who do you think you are?” You’re a free, human being who has the power of choice. You can decide to say yes or no. If your inquiry offends, puzzles, or angers someone, that’s a bright, red flag that you everything you need to know about their intentions, AND how you’re perceived. It’s true. You teach people how to treat you. Never having questions before doesn’t mean that your current questions constitute making waves. When you notice someone’s demeanor switch from nice to nasty just because you ask a question, it’s a red flag that your unquestionable consent is, and has been expected. If the slightest question you ask is perceived as pushback, troublemaking, mutiny, or arrogance, that’s a problem. It indicates that your intelligence has been underestimated, or that promises, arrangements, or agreements have been made without your input. Everyone cannot represent or speak for you. It stands to reason that someone would be agitated if they’ve been doing it without your authorization.


My father used to say, “Don’t just go along to get along.” It fascinates me when others insist that I minimize, ignore, or trivialize what they would never, EVER tolerate.

Take a close and even closer look at those things deemed “standard”, “a formality”, or “no big deal” especially if your signature is required. People are naturally more concerned about covering themselves from liability than covering you.
It’s okay for you to be your own advocate. It’s okay to be thorough. It’s okay to ask questions. Principled people will welcome and respect that.

If you want to retain the trust, and vote of confidence you enjoy in working relationships, don’t try to guilt, manipulate, deceive, or gaslight others into doing what benefits or enriches you, but obligates, endangers, shortchanges, taxes, or inconveniences them.

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