SUNDAY THOUGHTS: CLOSE OF THE WEEKEND/2011

I was a little drained after Tomie's funeral on Friday. It still seems unreal that she's gone, but it's comforting to know that her life was well spent in service to others, and that she was a friend of God. 

I'm so glad that my big sister could come back home and go to the service, and a late opening for school made it possible for my little sister to attend as well.

 

My big sister was right. It may not be fair, but there are some people that you make special sacrifices for, simply because of the tremendous impact they have had on your life. 

We knew Tomie over 40 years. 

Even Daddy said it felt as if he had lost a sister. Tomie was like one of your favorite family members who you're always happy to see arriving, and hate to see leaving. 

Looking at all of the pictures of her in the beautifully printed program, brought back such fond memories. I know what the Word of God says about the dead, but the thought of Tomie and Mommy laughing and chatting away like they used to, made me smile.

My family decided to just have dinner together in Alexandria Friday afternoon. It was a good idea. 

It was pleasant to just be with them for a while. Everyone had something to do, but we made time for each other. 

I thought I had my plan for the remainder of the day all ironed out. I was supposed to drive to Ellicott City and stay at the Turf Valley Resort on Friday night, but after I'd arrived home, packed, and gotten dressed, I just didn't have the energy. 

I knew it would be a mistake to take the drive. I was yawning every 8 seconds and just wanted to sit down. Before I knew it, I was asleep.

Friday night, I slept through the night for the first time in ages. 

I got up early on Saturday morning, and took the drive. There was very little traffic and the scenery along the Baltimore Washington Parkway, and the exit to Columbia was stunning. 

All the way, I was surrounded by beauty courtesy of the snow and the Sun. 

When I saw the "Enchanted Forest" sign, my mind raced back to elementary school, and the end-of-the-year field trips we would take there. 

It was such a glorious, colorful place. 

It seemed as if we'd be on the school bus for hours trying to get there. 

Today, it seems so close by. 

Even far from its original state, it put a smile on my face as I passed by.

So much of the grounds of Turf Valley were covered with untouched snow. I took my time on Turf Valley Drive, and was happy to find a great parking space when I got to the hotel.
The prayer breakfast was so refreshing, and the women of Full Gospel Emancipation Life Center were as gracious as I remembered. (It's nice to go to a prayer breakfast where there's actual prayer going on.)

I even met a lady who looked as if she and my Mom could have been sisters. 

I thought that was a nice little gift. 

The meal and the fellowship were just what I needed.
My room was on the 5th floor, and I was blessed with a spectacular view. 

I was so impressed with what I saw from the windows and thanked God for the opportunity to be surrounded by tranquil beauty.
This morning I woke up, stared out of the windows and admired the scenery a little longer. 

I made my way to the church, and so enjoyed worshiping in Odenton.

Even though much of the snow has melted. the ride back toward DC was just as beautiful. 

I made it to Fort Washington just in time to see my big sister before it was time for her to leave for the airport.
I'm home now. 

The noisy, cursing women I could hear through closed windows made me a little sad for a minute. 

I'd spent 2 days hearing none of the city's more unpleasant sounds. 

I'd heard crying, praying, teaching, singing in so many different tonal qualities, but none of it made me want to run for cover. 

Tonight, though, I was hearing hatred and animosity--and so was everyone else within a 2 mile radius. 

Each woman's harsh voice crashed through the night air like a run away freight train. 

Something about the night air just amplified their voices that started at the top of the hill, and continued all the way to the bus stop across the street. 

Too bad what they had to say was so grating and horrible. 

It suddenly reminded me of how frantically the sound man tried to get the microphones working at the prayer breakfast, but the acoustics in the room were so great, they really weren't needed as the women prayed and sang. 

It reminded me of the sound at Tomie's funeral, and how the excellent sound system carried voices throughout every corner of the sanctuary. 

It even reminded me of my trip to the beauty supply store a few days ago, where 5 other women and myself laughed and talked as we browsed the shelves. 

There's joyful noise--that you want to hear, long to hear-- and then there's noisy NOISE. 

THIS unfortunate din was being played out with no regard for anyone's need or desire for peace or rest. 

It was as if they WANTED to be heard--perhaps NEEDED to be heard. 

The bus stop was their platform, and the neighborhood apparently didn't have a choice of whether it wanted to hear them.

Is suburbia the only answer? I'd like to think not. 

I imagine somewhere in the 'burbs there's an open air argument going on, threatening to escalate into a physical altercation--where someone is so angry, wounded, or hurt that all reason and decorum goes out the window. 

The difference, I imagine, is the number of people being impacted by it, and how highly unacceptable it would be. 

Surely there's a noise ordinance in DC, too.

 

Two police cruisers stopped on either side of the street. I suppose I wasn't the only one who'd had enough of the screaming and cursing. 

The officers got out to assess the situation, but didn't stay very long. 

One of the women yelled, "We don't need no police!" Yes they did. 

They needed the police AND Jesus...lol

 

I felt for the children. 

In my mind, the officers would at least take THEM someplace warm and safe. Instead, they just got back in the cruisers and left. 

Not enough of an emergency, I suppose. 

Sometimes, I think the police just get fed up and throw up their hands-- especially when it seems like the citizens they try to protect don't care about themselves OR their communities. 

I don't know if a bus came, or if the police presence jarred something in them, and women decided that perhaps they WERE a bit out of control, but the noise finally stopped.

The close of the weekend was such a stark contrast to the beginning of it, with one consistent theme running through it: 

People really do need the Lord. 

People are hurting. 

Help is available, but someone has to point the way to it--or boldly BE the help that someone else needs.

I suddenly appreciated my weekend even more.
I'm grateful--even though I realized that somewhere between Friday and today, the refrigerator stopped doing what it does best. No matter, though. It provided a late night opportunity to cook a meal I hadn't planned to prepare, share groceries with someone, and find out, for future reference, where one can find dry ice in the area at a moment's notice.

Some potentially aggravating inconveniences can actually be joyful, and remind you how blessed you really are.

__________________________________

1/31/2011
Christmas day was spent just sitting around with my family. 

No stress. 

No exhaustion. 

No drama. 

No intrusions. 

Good breakfast. 

Good dinner. 

A few snowflakes fell to officially say it was a white one. 

Christmas hasn't been the extravaganza that it once was when Mommy was alive, but it was a pleasant day.

The days leading up to 2011 were pretty calm, very educational, and insightful. 

The following occurred to me one day, or another:

1. Some people appreciate you more than you thought.

2. Pride won't allow some people to be honest about what they want and need.

3. Pushing people away is not the way to get others to come closer.

4. Bluffing gets old after a while. Sometimes you just have to call people on their foolishness.

5. Some people don't want your input, they want your consent and support--no matter what.

6. Some people weigh what they are told, and question what doesn't make sense.

7. Some people prefer to believe the worst.

8. You can't fault people for believing what they're told, by someone who appears to be reliable.

9. If people know their behavior bothers you, and their aim is to bother you, any sign of your annoyance is a gift to them.

10. Some people really don't know what's appropriate to say.

11. Some people survive and thrive on confusion. Your peace of mind infuriates them.

12. There IS a tactful way to tell people to mind their own business.

13. Some people don't understand kindness. They aren't trying to insult your intelligence. They honestly don't think you can discern their motives, or see what they are doing.

14. Silence is often mistaken for stupidity.

15. If no boundaries are set, people will overstep what is supposed to be in place.

16. Sometimes you don't have to say anything at all.

17. You may be sought as an ally, by someone who once formed alliances with others against you.

18. Some folk are just angry and messy, and looking for a reason--ANY reason-- to confront you.

19. Wait for it. Some people will always tell on themselves.

20. Anger has an uncanny way of turning to pity when you really understand the notion, that hurting people, hurt people.

21. Nosy people try, but can never match the nuances of genuinely concerned people.

22. When you make up your mind that you will not be bothered, you won't be.

23. Love and truth always win.

24. The perfect gift is always waiting for you to pick it up.

25. God DOES see and know-- and handles things (and people) on your behalf.

__________________________________

2010 didn't end with the big snow that we were all anticipating. 

The funeral on Thursday the 30th, that ended the old year, led to an invitation to worship in the new year. I'm pretty sure I put 2010 on the check I wrote on Sunday morning. (Yes. I'm still writing checks.)

I had such a lovely time at Woodstream Church on Sunday. 

Once again the world proved itself small. The pastor, Bob Wingfield, is the same Robert Wingfield who was in my sister's class of 1973 at my junior high school, St. Thomas More. 

 It's so nice to see what God does in the lives of others. It's nice to know that someone is standing on the unadulterated Word of God--or at least making a sincere, concerted effort.

The new year has begun happily, peacefully, and musically. 

It began with games and black-eyed peas and cabbage, too. 

I've had a great time with my family over the past few weeks. 

I always love it when my big sister comes home. 

She came packing pralines, and didn't leave without making gumbo and frying catfish. I drove her to the airport and hated to see her go. I missed the days of seeing loved ones off at the gate as opposed to the curb.
I'm glad she made it safely back to Baton Rouge last night. I have to get to Louisiana some time this year.

Today, I woke up excited. I had a brief rehearsal with the National Symphony Orchestra in preparation for the sacred Sounds concert at THEARC on Saturday. I'm looking at what I just typed. 

I can't believe it either. 

I really thank God for the opportunity. 

Before it was time to go over the song, I marveled at the expertise of my friend Nolan Williams as he conducted. 

It's always at times like today that I wish I had done more than dusted the piano. Today, for me, was one more reminder that our steps are ordered by God. Talk about feeling unqualified! 

But everyone was so gracious and I even got a chance to listen as Y'anna Crawley rehearsed. 

One word. Powerful.

I drove home, and admired the beauty that Washington possesses in some parts. 

It really is a spectacular colony...: )

I'm grateful, and prayerful today as I wind down. There are friends who are bereaved; others are facing health challenges, personal problems, career obstacles. Still others are excited about new paths, changes, and opportunities. 

I know that God knows and cares about it all. 

My mind is always on my Lisa as she prepares for the bar examination. 

How I admire her work ethic and determination.

I don't know what this year will bring. Yes. There are plans. Lisa's graduation, Richard's project, and a new business venture with an old friend, among them. Things change, though and I'm learning how to go with change, and not allow it to slow me down, devastate or paralyze me. 

I'm 50 now, and I honestly think 50 brought a new calm with it. Not a "whatever" kind of thing, but a "Lord, you've got it", kind of thing...and He's got it. 

I trust Him to handle it all.

Happy New Year.

DO NOT BEND

Two things prompted me to write tonight. A surprising account of spousal abuse, and mangled mail. Of course, one gave me much more cause for concern than the other, but there were some comparisons that I saw between both situations. I looked at the package, once neat and undamaged. Someone had taken great pains to do a good job and make sure that it arrived on time and intact. Somewhere between its origin and my hands, it had been mishandled. An attempt to protect what was inside had been made, but it wasn't enough. It would have been, had the package been handled by someone who cared. Because it fell into the hands of a trifling individual, its outside AND inside suffered. What have we learned?

1.No one is going to take care of what you cherish better than you.
2.Something or a situation may look like a good fit at first, but will be more difficult to undo.
3.Yes. Some things can be replaced, but why not take care of the FIRST thing?
4.You anticipate the arrival of something good, and when it gets to you, it may require more care and attention than you thought.
5. Sometimes warning signs are completely disregarded.
6. Better to be inconvenienced, or have to go an extra mile, than to have to start all over again.
7. When people are lax about what they think you deserve, don't expect excellence.
8. Don't expect someone to treat what belongs to you any better than they treat their own things.
9. When you realize a thing won't work, stop.
10. "Do not bend" is not affixed to something for decorative purposes. The whole package is precious, inside and out.
11. Do you HAVE to see a sign to know that something should be treated with respect and care?
12. Some things are fragile. You may think they can take a little shove, a little push. You may think that no harm will be done, or that the aggressive move to make something or someone comply, fit, or stay put is no big deal--but it is.
13. If you don't want to be bothered with a thing, leave it alone, but don't see it as a reservoir for your frustration.

MONDAY THOUGHTS: REMEMBERING TOMIE

My Mom had the greatest friends! When I see them, not only does their presence make me glad, but it reminds me of the kindness and wisdom of my Mom. It reminds me that my Mom wasn't just a mother, but a sister, a confidant--a woman---an actual human being who had feelings and needs, hopes and dreams, concerns and challenges about which, one's children aren't the least bit qualified to address or understand. My mom had sister-girlfriends before the term became popular. Strong, talented, classy, ambitious, secure, multi-tasking women of faith who maintained an impressive balance of professional/domestic life--without complaining, fainting or freaking out. 

They also knew when to pivot. Change didn’t scare them.

I'm saddened today, and remembering Thomasina McFarland Costley--my Mom's dear  friend Tomie--a phenomenal woman, brimming with cultural pride, moral and educational standards, and unwavering faith. She was a wife, mother, educator, and mentor. A graduate of Allen University's class of 1967, she was sharp, hip, dedicated, and so smart! 

Every school system should employ people who not only have book smarts to share, but go the extra mile and actually care about the total child, beyond the school house doors; people who want for the children of others, the SAME excellence, opportunities, and bright future they sacrifice to provide and seek for their own. Tomie always confirmed a belief of mine. When you have information that could help others, share it. What good is having resources and knowledge if the only thing one does with it is brag about it, but never put it into any good use?

It's nice when your parents' friends demonstrate friendship in such a way that, when you become an adult, you feel fortunate, and don't mind or hesitate to name them among your own friends or "play" relatives. To this day, I know Tomie's phone number by heart--and sometimes have to think about my own...: )
I pray that God comfort her husband Mel, son Janon, and her entire family.

CELEBRATION OF LIFE:
Friday, January 28, 2011
11:00 AM
Mount Olivet United Methodist Church
1500 North Glebe Road Arlington, VA 22207

SUNDAY THOUGHTS: LANDSLIDE

Today's unplanned alarm was the sound of a car horn, blown incessantly by someone who was either running late, very impatient, without their cell phone, or laboring under the misapprehension that the glass in the windows of my neighborhood are made of some soundproof, space age material.

Between the horn and the huge crows, camped out in the tree outside the window on the left side of my bed, there was no resuming my dream--which I am now having difficulty remembering.

I woke up and decided I'd stay inside today. No plans, no urgent things to do, nowhere to go, although I do have options. 

I'm not tired or feeling poorly, just enjoying what's left of the quiet as cars go by. 

I even stared out of the window and admired the sky. That's right. Just because I could...and I'm grateful.

It's after 11:00 and I haven't eaten anything. No. I'm not fasting, just deciding. 

I have options with regard to food as well--and for that, too, I'm grateful.

Somehow between checking snail mail, that I hadn't opened, phone messages, email, and the like, I stumbled upon a lovely song. I learned that the musician is Reykjavik, Iceland's Sindri Már Sigfusson of the band "Seabear". He goes by the name Sin Fang, and has covered a "Fleetwood Mac" song, titled "Landslide".

I thought about the word "landslide", and how it can be a good thing to a person who's campaigned for a political office, but a bad thing to people whether they're living high on a hill, or low in a valley. 

Some things happen because they're supposed to; because the conditions that exist are right. 

Other things are HELPED to occur on purpose, or out of negligence or ignorance. 

Extenuating circumstances factor in, and if one is not watchful and careful, one can find oneself completely overwhelmed, shifted, inundated, in a different state or position altogether--wondering how in the world to get out. 

Sometimes it's good to just be still and evaluate what's going on around you. Being busy for busyness sake can leave what should be important things, like self, home, and family undone, unstable, and vulnerable.

"Landslide". 

I think it's a nice addition to a reflective, peaceful, winter's day.

THE LIGHT OF DAY

If your walls are sky blue, turning out the light or closing the blinds doesn't CHANGE the color, just your perception of it. What you SEE should never erase what you KNOW, to the extent that you begin to deceive yourself. Nothing should be so important that you feel you have no alternative than to misidentify wrong as right, bad as good, unacceptable as proper, shameful as sacred, mediocre as excellent, or unrighteous as holy.
True colors don't change, they remain true-- in spite of the seemingly new, maybe even improved appearance that the absence of light provides. For every deception, there is something authentic that can be found.
Navy blue or midnight blue walls can be had-- without resorting to turning off the lights. You can commit to true colors if you really want to. Just make it happen. Often, however, the dilemma is the opinions or approval of others.
Is it so difficult to consistently be your true self, or is some relationship, business venture, trend, or school of thought, making it necessary keep shade close by? What are you compromising about, or complicit in that prevents you from speaking and acknowledging the truth? What are you fawning over, endorsing, applauding, supporting, or encouraging that, in the light of day, amounts to foul-smelling garbage not worthy of a nod-- let alone an honor?
Truth can't be a liability in any realm where light and truth are supposed to be interchangeable.

SATURDAY THOUGHTS: TRUST ME: A Musical Offering, From The Pen of Richard Smallwood

For a little over 16 years, I have been favored to be a part of a singing aggregation called "Vision". 

One of the wonderful things about singing the songs penned by my friend, composer, and pianist Richard Smallwood, is that, at the heart of each and every one of them, is the Holy Bible. 

The songs are like a map, directing the listener on a straight path to God. The only motive within the lines, is to point others to God's love, grace, mercy, and saving plan; to encourage and inspire others to accept, know, and love Him, and to (as Richard consistently tells every audience and congregation), "Lift up the name of Jesus".

Knowing that Richard communes with God, faithfully and diligently, not just before and during his sometimes difficult writing process, but daily, gives added meaning and substance to the music he shares with the world. 

There is no hurry or urgency to just produce music, or sell records. His is a careful enterprise, characterized by strategic collaborations, long productive hours, and thoughtful preparation.

God has consistently enabled him to birth melodies, even in the face of challenging and potentially devastating times. Through periods of loss and pain, that would understandably sap the creativity and energy out of anyone, God has once again, anointed this modern day David, made His promises known, and provided reassurance and instructions: "Tell them to trust Me".

Richard finally decided on the single for the long-awaited project, "Promises". It's a musical reminder of the faithfulness, strength, presence, honesty, and impeccable character of God. 

There are other, beautiful melodies, from which he could have chosen, that are equally as fitting and timely. His choice, however, is simply titled, "Trust Me". 

(The entire offering is scheduled to be released early in March 2011. 

Perhaps I'm a little biased--okay---maybe more than a little...alright...Maybe a lot...but I sincerely believe the music will be comforting and encouraging to you. Meditate on the following passages of scripture, as you listen. Trust Me.

"God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you." ~Exodus 3:14

"The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." ~Deuteronomy 31:8

"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you." ~2 Chronicles 20:17

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him." ~Psalm 28:7

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." ~Psalm 143:8