TUESDAY THOUGHTS

Yesterday, I heard a young man say of his deceased father, "I don't have a single bad or negative memory of my Dad. I can't think of one thing! He was a good man. He loved my mother...He was an example of what kind of a man to be."

His sincere words were met with agreement from those who knew his father. He wasn’t perfect, but he’d endeavored to be a good person, loving parent, upstanding citizen, and contribute positively to his community. It made me think how important it is to tell people how much they mean to you when they’re still able to hear it.

Whether we’re praising or bashing them, sorrowfully mourning, or singing a rousing chorus of “Ding-dong, The Witch Is Dead”,  the Bible says that “the dead know nothing”. It implies that they are neither aware, nor affected by our responses to their passing—good or bad. The outpouring of respect, love, and sympathy, or shouts of “good riddance”, are for us to hear. 

Eulogies, and condolences in social media comment sections, are for the consideration and consumption of the living.

The contrasts in our comments are a wake-up call. Perhaps they’re incentives that might cause us to reconsider how we live, what we say, how we treat or impact others, and what we should, or want to do, or we’ve deliberately left undone. 

Do people care whether they are currently writing, and contributing their own eulogies? Does it matter whether they will be mourned or missed, or are directly affecting the way they will be remembered? 

My Dad used to say, “We can’t park here”. 

When it’s our turn—and it’s coming, sooner or later—will people be sad, shocked, heartbroken, inconsolable, reminiscing, demanding answers, or sorrowful? Will they be grateful to have known, or been aware of you, or will they have to repent for what they’re thinking, but decline to say out loud?

Several famous people have died lately. Among them are a beloved actor, an iconic actress, two noted musicians, a humanitarian, a satirist, and a controversial wrestler. What struck me in some cases, was seeing the contrast between heartfelt, complimentary condolences, and clear decisions to merely acknowledge the death, then say nothing more, because nothing good could be found to say about neither the character of the deceased, nor the life they lived. 

I suppose it’s a consolation if they can’t feel, or don’t know how their pasts, mistakes, missteps, and less than stellar acts are being dredged up, and what’s being said about, and attributed to them.