QUARANTINE LIFE: FILL UP

At this point, my Dad would have said, “Uh...Don’t you think you need some gas?” He firmly believed in keeping the tank full. To him, anything below a half-tank was essentially "on fumes". 

Failing to be vigilant about the gas gauge guaranteed that your future included pushing your car during a thunderstorm, riding in a smoke-filled tow truck, or walking down a dark road swinging an empty gas can while trying not to die in a ditch. 

“You never know what will happen. You might get stuck in traffic", he'd warn. 

These days, traffic and I have been a distant memory.

I can only imagine what my Dad would say if he knew that, when I filled up the other day, I hadn’t been to a gas station since March. Two art-related trips outside my neighborhood since the lockdown began— one to Germantown, the other to Baltimore— are the reason the tank was so “low”. 

I’d spent the better part of the week inside, decided I needed some air, and even though the Sun was setting, I headed out for a drive. “Why not fill up the tank?”, I thought.

I don’t know if old age is kicking in, but once I approached the Sunoco and parked, I actually had to think about what to do. 

Which side of the pumps should I be on? 

Is that the gas tank door or trunk-release lever down there? 

Do I turn the cap clockwise?

What's my pin?

Wait. What's my zip code?

What grade do I use?

I put on my gloves, and stared at the pump. For a minute, it was like I’d never seen one before. My brain was re-calibrating. 

I’m glad I was wearing my mask because I couldn't help laughing at myself. How many thousands of times over the years had I pumped gas? It took three tries to properly insert my credit card so that it was readable, and when I'd finished pumping, I apparently responded too slowly as to whether or not I wanted a receipt. No. I would not be going inside to retrieve one.

I mourned the popcorn, Naked Fruit Smoothie, and Almond M&M’s that, pre-pandemic, I wouldn’t have thought twice about going inside the store to purchase. I decided that the faithful Instacart and Amazon could take care of any snack fix I had. I got back inside the car, and watched the needle move to “full”. 

I suppose there is a certain amount of relief, security, and gratification in having enough necessities, and resources that you don't have to go anywhere if you don't want to. It's good that certain stores are close by if I just had to get something.

I have no travel plans. There's nothing urgent I have to attend to, but Dad was right. It is good to be prepared.