THE iNTERVIEW

I watched the interview. Or was it a set up? All I know is that a third voice chimed in and wouldn’t shut up. It was reading between the lines, noticing body language, and reminding me that the American experience has really done a number on Black people— and we, depending on when, where, by whom, and how we were raised, have in turn, done a number on each other. The survival speech is alive and well, and so is unrelated, fictive kinship.

“Know when to turn it on and when to turn it off”. “Don’t make waves”. Do what you’re told. Stand up straight. Say “yes sir” and “no sir. 

“When one of us gets “in” we have to “act right” and kiss up to the resident veteran puppets, and follow their lead so we don’t mess it up for everyone else. The resident veteran puppets, who LOOK like you, will blackball you first. IF you get “in” you can’t have an opinion; can’t say “no”.  You should be in a perpetual state of gratitude— not to God, but to “them”.

The ones who are “in” are not as secure as we think they are; they can’t speak as freely, or socialize as freely, either. They take a chance if it’s revealed that they still deal with those who’ve decided NOT to play the game. They say one thing privately, and another publicly. They’re constantly afraid of losing it all, so they’ve got to keep hustling. Never mind how it impacts their friends or family. Money matters...A pedestal has been erected for them, and they eagerly climbed up without checking it’s integrity. Perched on what they perceive to be the top of the world, they cover their insecurity with a veneer if arrogance. Theyre convinced that they’re exceptional, untouchable, and safe. They’ve always been discouraged from having real power, and they dream of having their own. They looked down and got a bit brave and cocky; started ostracizing and mistreating people; throwing people under buses...They have to be everywhere; in everything; working all the time because they never know when it will all come to an end...All that hustle and grind can come to a grinding halt at any time if they step out of line, but they’ve convinced themselves they’re the gatekeepers; they’re indispensable. They’re “in”. Integrity means nothing. Truth either. Just keep quiet and play along and you might be able to play for a long time. Don’t just sing, but dance, AND pick the cotton. Just don’t get too close to real power. Thats how they get to stay “in”, and keep all of their toys.”

NOTHING is worth the loss of your integrity and surely not your soul. Be honest about what you do. People who truly care about you would neither expect nor demand that you compromise your integrity, devalue yourself, or work yourself to death for them. Ask them. They’d rather have you; they’d rather have quality AND quantity time with you. 

For me, that was the take away.