WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS: CONFRONTATION

One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was this:

STOP RUNNING, AND CONFRONT.

Some things AREN'T a matter of right or wrong. How people think, or why they do, what they do, the way they do it, isn't always simple. So many factors come into play: upbringing, culture, education, exposure, past experiences, influences, trauma, habit, etc...

Differences don't have to cause conflict, but that's what happens when respect and compromise go missing, and gossip and speculation and judgment takes the place of confrontation. 

There are some things you don't "lighten up" about, and you don't allow yourself to be manipulated into thinking you have to. Some things have been allowed for far too long, and have attained normalcy status, when they are anything BUT normal. 

There's different, and then there's trifling. There's a little dirt, and then there's HAZMAT. There's spirited conversation, and then there's assault. You know the difference. Don't relax yourself into a state where you are unwilling or unable to see what's in front of you. The things you refuse to confront can literally make you sick.

Sometimes you have to call out people and circumstances--even yourself--and leave the sugarcoating for another day. No matter how long it takes for you to comprehend this, it's a hallelujah day when you do. 

It's time out for people just bullying and bulldozing their way and expecting others to keep quiet about their destructive ways. Things left unsaid are heavy and unhealthy to your mind and body. Some people are waiting for you to speak up so they can tell you what they think of you. Truth is, that they really don't know how much they should keep that door closed, and how much about them will be exposed if they keep pushing. They don't really want to hear what you have been keeping to yourself. If the truth is the light, they're going to need some very good shades.

Perhaps you don't think you should HAVE to say anything, but slowly simmering is never a good idea unless you're making spaghetti sauce. The seeming oblivion and clueless antics of others demand that you abandon your aversion to confrontation. Sometimes people DON'T know that they're being jerks because no one has ever checked them. Everyone just tiptoes about, bites their tongues, and then release rant after critical rant after the offenders are gone. The only person who is going to benefit from a good redress is the person who has offended, NOT the people who are left to clean up the messes the offenders left behind.

Suffering in silence and being motivated by Mercy have limits. No one should have a problem with you speaking up for what is right, reasonable, and fair unless they are benefiting from what isn't. When people reach their limits; when they get tired of being messed with and over, too often the question loaded with sarcasm is, "What's wrong with him/ her/ them?" The questions loaded with remorse SHOULD be "What makes me think I don't have to regard the feelings, needs, rights, standards, and property of others? What makes me think I have the right to ruin what belongs to someone else, and treat it like garbage? What makes me think others should just accept my @##$%! and get over it?"

People can do whatever they want. This is, of course, America. But when they enter your little slice of it, as gracious as you may be, you don't lay down your standards in favor of those who have clearly abandoned theirs. You don't turn a blind eye and stop caring because others have demonstrated that they don't. Some people are laboring under the misapprehension that YOUR world needs rocking, and they aim to bring a little disorder because that's how THEY roll.

Anyone who thinks you should put up with, or excuse inconsideration of ANY kind ANYWHERE--particularly where you live or work--has demonstrated precisely how they feel about you. Some people are very cavalier with their "Get over it" or "Let it go" until they're faced with what they expect others to shrug off.  Yes. Pick your battles, but being a doormat, allowing thoughtlessness, and "going along to get along" can get awfully exhausting.

Unburden yourself. There's a difference between forgiveness and capitulation.

Whatever "it" is, stop saying it's okay when it isn't. 

#youteachpeoplehowtotreatyou

#aintnobodygottimeforthat