SATURDAY THOUGHTS: THE VILLAGE DAUGHTERS

I am appreciating and thanking God for my mother, grandmothers, aunts, female teachers--every woman who sowed positive seeds into my life--a little bit more today. 

I am applauding my daughter in such a huge way, too. 

I am so sincerely grateful for God's grace, mercy and protection. 

I am grateful for everything my daughter and I share, even if it's just a hearty laugh.

My heart aches for two moms I don't even know. Two moms who, like me, only wanted the best for their daughters. 

Two moms who worked and sacrificed. 

Two moms who probably bragged about their girls' academic achievement. 

Two moms who hoped their daughters lives would excel beyond their dreams for them; 

Two moms who, perhaps, only wanted their daughters to be able to adequately and effectively take care of themselves, and become upstanding, contributing members of society.

I feel so badly for anyone who has lost a child in ANY manner, at any age--especially to senseless violence.

The Bowie State tragedy is so troubling to me. 

Not too long ago, I too, drove away and left my child on the campus of a university. 

She, too, from time to time, had roommates. 

I don't want to imagine the dangers that were lurking, during her college days, that some responsible, alert, caring adult(s) nipped in the bud on my behalf. (Thank you, Jesus.) 

 When you send your baby to college, you imagine that he or she might not come back home because they landed some cushy, well-paying job in their college's town after graduation--not because he or she was murdered.

I looked at the twitter timelines of both young women, and had to stop. 

I was suddenly reminded, yet again, that I am definitely getting old. 

I wondered exactly when was any school work being done. 

I wondered if dorm monitors/counselors are a thing of the past. 

I wondered if there was any attempt at separating these young women. 

I wondered if there is a conflict resolution component at the university. 

I hoped and prayed that the twitter powers-that-be would take down both pages, so that their mothers wouldn't ever see them; so that news media outlets, that seem to get a lot of their news from social networking sites, would not see them and begin to quote them. 

Too late. 

I hoped that other young women would wake up and realize that their OWN online behavior--what names they choose to call themselves, how they describe themselves, what they say to represent themselves-- was equally degrading, damaging and unwise.

These days warnings and red flags are flying right in our faces, and we aren't paying attention. 

We've dismissed things as harmless; innocent fun; youthful indiscretion; free speech. 

We're afraid to confront, and hesitant to correct. 

We still haven't succeeded in educating some young people that "I'm not hurting anybody but myself" is one of the stupidest statements known to man. 

Troubled people are all around us, publicly crying out for help in varying ways, and our response is often, "Do you", murmuring, or silence. 

The trouble is no longer reserved for, or to be blamed on "da hood".

It's unfortunate when the only, appropriate response SHOULD be sadness and sympathy, but because of your OWN words and behavior, not only is sympathy replaced by suspicion, ridicule, jokes and judgment, but your own words MAY be used to help the case of the person who has done you the greatest, permanent, irrevocable harm.

I have so many random questions.

1. Is ANYONE teaching English grammar and composition,spelling, or principles of speech in schools any more?
2. When did young women become so horribly and happily vulgar and profane?
3. Are we declaring young people mature too soon?
4. Is ANYONE schooling young people of the dangers of irresponsible social networking habits?
5. Are young people aware that their resume is NOT the only thing schools and employers are perusing these days?
6. Are parents checking out, turning a blind eye and deaf ear? Are they computer illiterate?
7. If the whole online world can see your child's social networking site, why can't you, and WHY aren't you saying something?
8. If the supposed best and the brightest are wilding out in real time, at institutions of higher learning, is it time to storm elementary schools and try to reverse the tide?
9. Are we teaching our children that their actions have consequences?
10. Have ALL of us "villagers" dropped the ball?

There's nothing I can do about what has happened except feel the way I do, and pray, I suppose. 

There is something I can do today, and God willing, the rest of my days, in my own community, though. 

I have an adult child, so it may be said that I don't have a dog in the hunt, but I grew up at a time when you technically had one mother, but all of the other mothers--including total strangers-- were like surrogates; not afraid to help you stay on the right path by any means necessary. 

Our daughters have to know that they have potential; they don't have to seek attention by being loud, trifling, foul-mouthed, indiscreet, abrasive, argumentative, combative, defensive, nasty, drunken, etc.

It's one thing for someone else to deliberately try and tell your story to potentially ruin your reputation or shame your name. It's another to tell it yourself in segments of 140 words or less, and potentially mute the good and positive aspects of your own life.