JUST SAY "NO".

I heard, "Awww man! I was really hoping you could do it. Now I have to pay somebody." I remember when it wouldn't have been funny; when I would have been offended. The comment just made me make yet another mental note.

"SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND", a daily devotional by Marsha Burns, was SO on time today. It read, "Resist the temptation to take on more than you can effectively handle. Any over-extension could deplete your resources physically, emotionally, financially or spiritually. Exercise sound judgment when making choices, and you would do well to be conservative. The enemy would love to stretch you beyond your abilities. If you need wisdom ask Me and I will give you the guidance you need, says the Lord." The scripture referenced was James 1:5. "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."

It's funny how, in all of the details you are given about what you are being asked to do, one little detail is often and conveniently overlooked--your compensation. Some people don't care how you finance your participation in their affairs or if what they are asking creates a hardship. You can always tell when you decline, that you have put them in a position to examine their motives AND their budget.
Some people aren't disappointed that you can't make it, or can't do what they ask. They're disappointed that they now have to do the right thing and pay someone else for what they expected YOU to do for nothing. (It's amazing how funds can be found for everything except what people want YOU to do. All of a sudden you hear manipulative praises sung about "ministry" and "humility" and "volunteerism".) The first time you say "No" you just might:
1. Be on your way to paying your OWN bills in full and on time, have a little money in YOUR pocket, and more time for your own family and interests.
2. Find out just how much what you have done in the past was acknowledged and appreciated.
3. Cause someone to repent of their habit of shamelessly taking advantage of you and undervaluing your time, talent and effort.
4. Save someone from having to think up another outright lie or weak excuse.
5. Cure someone of their selfish, miserly ways and motivate them to see the rightness and fairness of paying a fair and timely wage for the work they want done.
6. Remind someone that they shouldn't treat your livelihood as if it is their hobby.
7. Inform someone that people who profited by expecting and demanding that others work for little or nothing, were called "SLAVE MASTERS" not "event planners", "project managers", "committee chairpersons", "talent coordinators"----and certainly not "friends".

It's not a new message, but treat people the way you would like to be treated. Respect the work that others do.

RELIGIOSITY

On facebook and other social networking sites, we have the opportunity to engage strangers as a result of common friendships. Yesterday, someone sent an inbox message (in all caps) to another friend about a thread on my wall in which they both commented, but disagreed. I deleted and blocked the sender who decided to take her argument off of the wall and negatively, and ignorantly engage someone she didn't even know. I've been very lax about accepting friend requests, but yesterday reminded me that I didn't like bullies when I was in grade school--and still don't. Religious bullies are even worse.

People are certainly entitled to their opinions, but how they convey them is key.
Some people have had their hands and feet bound by denominational ideals for so long that nothing in them is circulating except a desire for others to suffer in ignorance with them. So many people have been falsely converted; have joined organizations thinking it means that they are now perfect, superior to others, qualified to be judges, juries and executioners, and are God's official spokespeople. They are right-fighters, armed with the very useless rules and regulations that they have been led to believe are the Gospel. Sadly, it's easier for some people to perpetuate the lies and fairy tales have always been taught, and argue their validity, than to actually pick up a Bible, read it for themselves, recognize and admit they have been manipulated and misinformed, and begin to embrace THE truth, and enjoy abundant life.

There are occasions when you speak without thinking. When writing, you have an opportunity to read what you wrote to yourself, and decide whether it is appropriate to send. Before anyone else can understand what you meant to convey, you have to. When writing, all that a reader can go by are the words they see. When you don't take the time to weigh your own words, you'll always be offended the responses you get, blame others for misunderstanding, and find yourself forever putting out fires that YOU started.
Sure, some people are always trolling for something/anything that you say to pounce upon--sometimes for no other reason than that they don't like you, and seek to embarrass you. They're looking for a fight, and will try to take out of context anything you say or do. That's when you definitely have to be sure about your position, and be able to back it up with evidence, about which, no one would be willing to refute.

P.S. You really shouldn't run to debate people who actually read and study the Bible when your best argument is what your beloved denomination teaches. Even when your denomination teaches what's actually IN the Bible it's not a good idea to browbeat people. I don't care what church you belong to, or what you've always heard, it's best to read for yourself and find out if what you're spreading is helping people to come to Christ, driving them away, or keeping YOU bound and ignorant. 
Some people have foolishly mistaken religion and church affiliation with salvation. It's well known that Christians are a "peculiar people". Let's try not to add "misinformed, self-righteous, argumentative bullies" to the description.

BEFORE YOU ACT

Everyone could use a pat on the back from time to time, but some people don't care what you do. They just know THEY'RE not going to do it, didn't ask you to do it, didn't volunteer, and could care less if you ever get a nod for your effort.
Your well-meaning act of kindness or assistance may not always be appreciated. Don't be offended. Don't complain. Don't rant or throw a tantrum. What you say may speak volumes--not about others, but about you--and you may not like it. What seems to be necessary to you--what seems like a terrific idea--may not be the least bit important to others. It may be even less impressive if it is not carried out to their satisfaction.
You can see a supposed need, but the manner in which you fulfill it may fly in the face of another person's practices, customs, plan, wishes, wants, preferences, or ability to act.
Don't be alarmed if the very thing you think needs to be done immediately, can be tolerated--UNDONE--by others for days on end--or never tackled at all. Sometimes it's best to be satisfied with a job well done and forget all about the awards ceremony you're secretly looking for.
Finding out that what you have done isn't appreciated or acknowledged shouldn't cause you to stop being thoughtful, helpful or considerate, though. If everything you do is in the hopes of some kind of pay off, perhaps it would be a good time to explore what real charity is all about.
How you behave at the end of a matter reveals whether or not it was worth the effort. It also exposes your reasons for embarking on a task in the first place.
If you do WHATEVER you do "heartily as unto the Lord", His pleasure will always be foremost in your mind as you act. It won't matter whether what you have done is liked or applauded-- or not.
Always examine your motives. Ask yourself WHY you do what you do. Be honest. Sometimes, it may surprise you to find out that what you think is a simple act of kindness, is really a cry for attention, approval, accolades or acceptance. Sometimes your actions are judgment in motion. Do you do a thing because it is required, or to highlight that it has gone undone, and indict others for their inactivity? Are you subconsciously trying to motivate or force someone else to do it? Are you trying to keep an old tradition or pattern of behavior alive? Are you just restless, bored, unfulfilled and NEED to be busy? Are you not being affirmed when, where and by whom it counts most? Are you just making unnecessary plans and work for yourself which leads to further insecurity, and even more futile schemes designed to get the pat on the back that you so desperately need?
Decide whether others are not doing enough, or you're doing WAY too much. Decide whether what you do is saying less about what others are NOT doing, and more about your own condition. Decide whether your energy could and should be exerted elsewhere. Sometimes busy-ness and constantly creating work for others is telling more than you want to actually reveal. Sometimes it says more about what is NOT happening, than what IS happening.
It's so important to "Love effectively". It cuts down on your OWN frustration when you love and do for people, the things that they will ACTUALLY appreciate and embrace, instead of wearing yourself out doing things YOU think they SHOULD want.
Lamenting about what you've done, how long it took, how much it cost, how difficult it was, and how exhausted you are afterward, can be prevented by not convincing yourself that what you're doing is of a critical nature when it really isn't. Some things don't HAVE to be on your plate--you should just admit that you want or need them to be. Be advised that they have the potential to choke you, cause you indigestion, or require tedious clean-up.
In your need to make work for yourself, you can't get mad if others sit back and watch you work--especially when they didn't sign on for the job. There's a difference between seeing a need and fulfilling it, and creating a crisis, demanding that others drop what they're doing to help, and freaking out when others aren't eager to embrace the drama. Some people have declared a moratorium on being stressed out by stressed out people. If you're going to do a thing, be prepared that you may be doing it alone--and be okay with that.

MONDAY THOUGHTS: RELIGIOSITY STRIKES AGAIN

I was really encouraged by the message and songs I heard at Zion Church yesterday.
Pastor Battle said, (among other things concerning decision-making, and the relationship between Abram and Lot), 

"To exclude God from your decision-making process is to invite trouble/disaster. Prayer doesn't inform God, it INVOLVES God...Some things, you gotta bathe in prayer...We don't pray about a lot of stuff because we don't want God to mess it up. HOW do we exclude the One who sees all, and knows all?"

One of the songs the music ministry sang was "Revelation". 

I googled it this morning, and listened to the recording by "Third Day". 

I posted the link, and Pastor Battle's quotes to my Facebook page. 

Not long after, the following message was posted to my wall:

"What you are portraying here is really a good thing, but we ALL must remember that "JESUS" is no longer on the "Cross". I feel this picture is very hurtful to true Christians and saints that truly love the "LORD".. Just my thoughts! GOD BLESS!"

I looked at the words--read them more than once-- and thought, surely, it had to be a joke. God Bless? Seemed more like "You're going to hell if you don't take this post down".

 
I thought about deleting the comment (as I often do, when someone goes off the deep end, and doesn't seem to know what to say, or writes something negative, unnecessarily confrontational, or inappropriate), but I didn't. 

I replied--as gingerly and tactfully as I could. 

How DO we read the Bible, and skip over the parts that remind us just how much we desperately need the Lord, and how pitiful we are apart from Him? 

How DO we forget that we are NOTHING without Him, and our self-righteousness is akin to filthy rags? 

Why on earth are we so quick to argue about the most ridiculous things that have absolutely NO bearing on our salvation? 

Religiosity struck again, so I wrote the following reply:

"No kidding? He ISN'T? You may want to unfriend me, and pray for all of us wretched, FAKE Christians and Aint's who don't mind thanking God for, and remembering Calvary. 

Are you serious? 

I am my parents' LEAST aggressive child, but I have a big problem with modern day Pharisees and Saducees who have Bibles, but don't read them for any other reason than to beat up on others unnecessarily, come up with un-biblical rules and regulations, and exalt themselves as the greatest in the Kingdom. 

The Word is very clear about not answering a fool according to his folly, but in case you ARE serious, and really do BELIEVE what you wrote, consider this: 

To forget the cross of Christ, and the sacrifice He made, would take ignorance to new, oxygen-depleting heights. 

Art is a language of visual signs that communicate feelings, ideas, moods, experiences, occurrences, etc. You are surely entitled to your thoughts, but forgive me if I think they are sorely and sadly misguided. 

Sometimes we do more harm than good when we make blanket statements. I'm glad my love for the Lord is predicated on what HE thinks and knows. I'm glad His love for me is unconditional, and not based on human intellect, opinions, or traditions. 

A TRUE Christian is a follower of Christ--one who has confessed that He is Lord, the only begotten Son of God; one who, in one's heart, believes that God raised him from the dead. It is what HE has done, and our acceptance of it that makes us Christians--not the art we display-- or don't display. What should hurt, is the way we trip people up with foolishness, and make a relationship with God seem next to impossible.
I am SO glad that man's opinions, ideas and religious crap have no bearing on God's love for me. 

You'd better know for yourself what it is to be a Christian, and not allow flat out foolishness to hinder or define your relationship with God. "

So. I've been schooled today, I guess. 

"True Christians and saints who really love the Lord" are hurt by illustrations/paintings of Jesus on the cross. Is that so? 

It ought to hurt more that one person took on the sins of the whole world. 

Guilt and shame does have a tendency to hurt, I suppose. 

I wonder if the TRUE Christians hurt as much as Jesus HIMSELF did while he hung ON the cross. I doubt it. 

I wonder if they are hurt by knowing that his sacrifice is the reason they now have mercy, grace, right standing with God and hope of a home in Heaven. 

I wonder if they hurt every time they knowingly or unknowingly sin against him on a daily basis.

Do you, but I WILL remember Calvary. I don't know EVERY true Christian and saint on Earth who really loves the Lord, but I know many who have gladly sung "Oh how I love Jesus, because he first loved me."---and he demonstrated that love on a tree.

I found a link to the hymn "Lead Me To Calvary". Thank God that Jesus rose again and is now seated at the right hand of God, making daily intercession for me! 

How I appreciate God for loving me! 

As for me, forgetting Calvary is not an option.




I deleted the entire "Crucifixion Art" thread on my Facebook page in the hopes of diffusing any further argument. 

TODAY(3/22) I find out that the person who felt the need to remind me that Jesus is no longer on the Cross, is now sending INBOX messages to people in order to explain herself in case THEY misunderstood! 

According to the message, she saw fit to send to a total stranger, her opinion about Crucifixion art originated in the Pentecostal Church of God in Christ. 

I'm not one to poo poo on anyone's upbringing or religion, but it is so important to make sure that what YOU were always taught, lines up with the Word of God before you seek to impose it upon others, or declare it the law of the land. 

Denominational theories, ideas and practices have really messed up the minds of a lot of people--who go through life deceived and believing that what they do, say, and believe is more gospel than the actual Gospel. 

It's sad that the population of hell is going to be overrun by people who attended church faithfully, every Saturday and Sunday. 

Instead of cultivating a relationship with God, they zealously embraced a lot of rules and regulations with which to bind, manipulate, and confuse others--and themselves. 

Armed with their teachings, they delight in stirring up strife and confusion--and foolishly use the name of the Lord to do it. 

It's unfortunate that people are more eager to push their own religious ideas than the Word of God. 

I heard a minister say, "The greatest abomination in the body of Christ is denominations".
I wonder if the woman ever even bothered to listen to Third Day's song, "Revelation"?

TONIGHT, AND EVERY NIGHT

I've really been enjoying Channel 50.2 Antenna TV on WDCW. Looks like I have one more reason to put off subscribing to cable.
I love old movies and classic television shows. 
This morning, the television was watching me as I worked on a design, but I found myself distracted as I listened to the lyrics of "Tonight, and Every Night". It really blessed me--so much so that I searched for the lyrics. I couldn't find them, so I turned to good old reliable youtube. Sure enough, there was a clip of Rita Hayworth performing the song that was performed earlier in the film by Janet Blair. I learned that neither of them were actually singing. Martha Mears, had done what she'd become known for--lending her lovely voice to Hollywood starlets who were beautiful, but couldn't sing beautifully. Her efforts were often uncredited, but it doesn't take away from the fact that, 66 years later her voice is still being appreciated.
I was moved to type the lyrics as I listened. It's such an encouraging song...: )


"TONIGHT, AND EVERY NIGHT"
Lyrics by Sammy Cahn
Music by Jule Style
Sung by Martha Mears

If you've a faith like mine
The stars are bound to shine
The skies will all be bright
Tonight and every night
So keep your spirits high
The clouds will all go by
We've got a goal to sight
Tonight, and every night

Say! Hi there Chum!
Why so glum?
Things could be much worse
And how about you Lad?
Why so sad?
How can we go forward when you're in reverse?

If you agree with me
Let's add some harmony
Do-re-me-fa-so-me
So what if it's not right?
Whatever song is played
Will help your worries fade
And make your cares take flight
Tonight and every night

We're gonna win
Come on grin
Therein lies our might
We'll go on, and on, and on
Tonight and every night
Tonight and every night

"JAPAN RELIEF" PRODUCTS AT CAFEPRESS.COM

I viewed images of the overwhelming devastation in Japan, and wondered what I could do to help. Cafepress provided a way! Until April 11, 2011, CafePress.com is pledging to donate 10% of the final purchase price of all "Japan Relief" products to the American Red Cross. Click on the title of this blog entry to browse my new designs, as well as the designs other artists/shopkeepers have created to help support rescue and relief efforts in Japan...and don't forget to pray...: )

MONDAY THOUGHTS: OUR MOMENTS

It's funny now. Not hilarious, but funny--in a reflective sort of way. 

It was soooo NOT funny yesterday, in ANY sort of way. 

When I got back to my seat in the dark, in my mind, I was screaming, "NOOOOOOO! Rewind! Disappear!" 

Someone touched my shoulders. It was part pity, part comfort. 

It's something when you can embarrass yourself and others feel it, too. 

The next thing my mind played, was me logged on to Youtube reading one brutal comment after another. 

I was almost afraid to look at twitter or facebook. Surely there would be a torrent of jokes and cracks about one unfortunate moment in time. 

I just knew to expect "OMG!"; "WTH?"; "LOLOLOL" messages, most of which included the words, "She sounded a hot mess". 

I had to stop thinking. 

I was driving myself nuts. 

I had to tell myself it was okay, or spend the rest of the evening in tears.

To my surprise, when I logged on to my computer, there was very little negativity coming my way. 

I hadn't been raked over the coals. 

Maybe the runaway note, that unfortunately filled the air, sent everyone into a trance! 

Yes! Maybe everyone just felt badly for me. 

Just when I was about to commence beating myself up about it, something said, "What can you do about it now? It's over. Go to bed."
It also occurred to me that the mercy one receives is a direct result of the mercy one shows.
Whew.

When you mess up, you mess up. No excuses. 

There very well may be extenuating circumstances, but you still have one for the "Mess Up" file. 

It doesn't have to be deemed the end of the world--or the end of whatever it is that you were trying to do, though.
I wonder how many audiences know that from time to time, they're listening to someone who has the hiccups, or is trying to stifle a burp or a yawn, or who doesn't feel well, or whose feet hurt, or has just suffered a loss, or whose mind is somewhere else altogether.

I should know myself by now. I can't hang anymore. If I know what's good for me I will reinstate my childhood bedtime. I need rest, and lots of it. Late hours are not my friend, and neither is cold night air, or cold, early morning dew. Trying to sleep on a bus, no matter how plush the seats are, isn't friendly to the body either. This past weekend was busy, but I knew Saturday and Sunday were coming. Did I prepare properly? What could I have done better? I should have worn a hat on the trip to New York--and not talked...or laughed...I should have taken a blanket...and gloves...and socks...and a scarf, and had more hot tea...and Vitamin C...and B12...and Ricola...and gotten all of my crying out. 

I definitely should have gotten ALL of my crying out. 

When Mr. Yoba took my hands and asked, "Are you ready?" I should have said "No Sir. Give me about 24 hours. Better yet, YOU sing. I think the ladies, (and even some of the fellas) would like that very much."
*SIGH*

AFTER the fact is such a wise, reflective time, isn't it?

Yeah. I'm laughing now. It WAS embarrassing. It WAS a mess. Maybe there wasn't anything I could have done differently. Maybe it was just my turn--and it came.

You know that moment of silence when the only thing to be heard is what comes out of YOUR mouth? Yeah. THAT one. Music stops, choir stops, and you get one shot to nail one note before everyone joins back in. You're singing, but you're thinking. It's a spiritual thing, but you're not unconscious. You know how you feel. There's a lump the size of a watermelon rising in your throat. Everybody's waiting. You wonder if you can make it. You have choices. Play it straight or fancy. Go high, or go low. Riff, run, do vocal acrobatics or be smart and pass the mike to someone younger who didn't get off of a bus at 4:30 in the morning. You open your mouth, and what proceeds is supposed to be perfect, harmonious and bright. It's supposed to bring smiles. Last night, however, out came a note that WOULD have been perfect--had I been singing ANOTHER song...in another key...at Chuck E. Cheese...for a bunch of little kids hopped up on sugary cake frosting and punch. 

I heard it and it shocked me, too. It was painful. Like watching a car wreck.
"Ooh...Ouch...Wow...I sure hope no one was hurt."
I'm sure the note I sang is somewhere on the scale. A FISH scale perhaps.

There are times when you wish Superman would show up and spin the earth backward. You wish Jeanie would fold her arms, nod her head and stop everyone in their tracks so they don't remember anything that just happened. In your mind people are gasping and running for the exits. The ones who stay are screaming "You suck!" 

Anyone who tells you, "It wasn't THAT bad" is just trying to be nice. 

Any applause is thanks and gratitude for providing the source of the day's biggest laugh.

No matter how satisfactorily you do a thing, one slip in the mix has the potential to mess up the whole shebang, and be the thing that people remember--and talk about most. When the talking starts, thick skin and an ability to laugh at yourself better be an existing part of your DNA, or you're going to spend time hanging your head, hiding your face, and wishing there was a trap door you could fall through. I got the laughing part. The thick skin seems to still elude me.

I'd sat in the wings listening, and singing along, and clapping, and getting all misty, and realizing just how ironic my presence at the event really was. I'd skipped the reception because I didn't want to get all choked up. Cancer has visited my family way too many times. Some have fought and lived. Some have fought, died (and gained). 

I may as well have gone to the reception, since choked up is PRECISELY what I got. 

I made it all the way through the medley and then disaster struck. The note I'd sung so many times before was SO far removed from what actually came out of my mouth it was pitiful. 

My brain was sending a signal for an actual HUMAN note that could be found on a musical scale in the Milky Way Galaxy. 

My throat and vocal cords had each other in a head lock, so I do believe my pancreas decided to step up to the plate and help out. Since it was my pancreas' first time at singing, it produced a broken down note that sounded like some wounded, prehistoric, extraterrestrial bird from a planet, not yet named. 

I heard it in my head. I was hoping it was somebody's cell phone or a siren. 

Nope. 

It was me. 

I heard the sopranos desperately helping a sister out--singing the note I was SUPPOSED to have sung.
While I was preoccupied with being tired, not wanting to cry, and sounding like a re-fried, hot steaming mess, someone needed to know that Cancer is not always a death sentence. Someone needed to know that Cancer is an equal opportunity disease, but God is a healer. The concert had a dual purpose. The main focus was on educating and encouraging. I wasn't there by accident.

During the finale, the very gracious Kurt Carr motioned for me to sing a little on "For Every Mountain". In my mind, I was all vocally tapped out and quite content to sing along with the choir. Lorraine Stancil was doing just fine as far as I was concerned! 

I hesitated, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. 

I really have to hug him the next time I see him. 

God really has a way to remind you that what you do is not about you at all. 

Somehow, my brain and voice started liking each other again, and my pancreas went back to its day job. (Thanks Lord. I get it.)

The words someone wrote about my performance on Twitter were pointed out to me later in the evening. I couldn't be mad. I was expecting a beating, since one of the things Twitter affords professional and amateur critics, is the opportunity to say whatever they want, about whomever they want-- in real time. Either only a handful of people who were in attendance use Twitter, or people were being VERY kind. He tweeted that he wished others could have heard the note I hit. I'm still a little mortified that so many DID hear it!) It hurt a little to be ridiculed by a stranger, but he was entitled to his opinion--AND he was right. When people pay to hear music, they expect it to be good, so I tweeted an apology. 

To my surprise and relief, he apologized to me. Turns out that he is a singer, too. He tweeted, "I want to be the picture that pops up when you google neosoul". 

I thought that was pretty cool. 

God knows NONE of us want to be the picture that pops up when you google "hot mess". 

Our twitter exchange ended very graciously, and for that, I thank God that civility and home training still exist in cyberspace.

I keep telling people there is a reason why you won't EVER hear me bashing other singers, no matter how bad they may be. 

Last night was the PRECISE reason why. 

You just never know when you open your mouth and find that Edith Bunker, Hyacinth Bucket and a 112 year-old, crying frog have taken up residence in your throat. 

You know your limitations though, I should have known to play it a little safer. 

Sometimes you have to decide for the sake of everyone's precious hearing. 

If you're all choked up and about to cry, for God's sake, abort! Abort! Bail out! Sing tenor!
My critic (who is my new twitter friend) reminded me, "One note isn't a performance, just like one bad day isn't a life. We all have our moments". 

I really appreciated that.
I have to admit, though, I hope and pray my "moment" ends up on the editing room floor and promptly transferred to the editing room shredder. Lord, please don't let it be the Laugh of the Day on Youtube.
If it is, though, I still had a wonderful time, got to see and sing with friends, and met the very gracious (and fine) Malik Yoba. (By the way, Lord, great work.)

Many thanks to my friend, the very talented Nolan Williams, for including me in his musical work, and everyone associated with the American Cancer Society for their tireless efforts toward a world where Cancer is a thing that USED to be.

CAREGIVER DIARIES: GRATEFUL

The last several days have been spent at the hospital. "Pulmonary Embolism". 

"Coumadin"

Those are words I never wanted to hear EVER again. 

Pastor Keith Battle's message last week concerning his own condition, really prepared me for hearing the full extent of my Dad's condition. 

When Mommy was diagnosed with PE, there was fear, caution and anxiety. She wouldn't even go into the kitchen. Knives were there. 

She'd limited her mobility. What if she would fall? 

On the day she died I remember her blood running out of her nostrils like water as the hospital staff tried to revive her. 

They did all that they could. 

Coumadin COULDN'T be a good thing, could it? Why is it STILL the first weapon reached for in cases of PE?

Daddy said he thought he was having a heart attack. The pain in his chest was worse when he inhaled. He suffered loss of energy, low heart rate, high blood pressure, and clots in the pulmonary arteries. 

Dr. Barakat said most people don't make it with those symptoms. 

We all knew that, all too well. 

Dr. Washington wanted to see specific numbers on every test. If he didn't see them, the hospital would have to become home.

I almost panicked, but I know it was God who has calmed and comforted me since last Wednesday. 

I almost relived the pain of 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007. Illness, death, and crazy, selfish, nosy, intrusive, insensitive people are a toxic mix. 

I didn’t want to deal with that again. 

God arrested me and my thoughts. 

"I've got this. It's going to be okay this time. Trust me."
"This time" has been less stressful, and people have been considerate and helpful. 

It has also been an opportunity to show kindness to strangers, and comfort friends.

 

Drama kings and queens, familiar spirits, and lovers of strife have managed to stay away, (praise the Lord). I experienced so many things that taught me caregivers can't be intimidated, and asking questions is not a crime. 

A hospital is a busy place, English is not everyone's first language, and people do make mistakes. 

Part of caring, is getting as much information as you can, and speaking up when you know something is wrong.

I've met some of the most grateful, encouraging people in the past several days, and they were lying in hospital beds.

Dad is home today. 

He will have to be on a low sodium, low cholesterol diet, and his beloved collards, mustards, kale, and okra have to go for a while, but he's still here to tell about it.

Prayer works.

GOOD FOR YOU, WENDY JOAN.

I remember thinking, "Oh no. Not another talk show". 

With each promo, I wondered, "Will this be GOOD?"

 

That little fictive kinship seed of caution, planted in most Black people of a certain age was sprouting again. It was begging:

Please be good. 

Please represent well. 

Please don't embarrass US. 

Please have longevity. 

Please don't confirm stereotypes. 

Please be relevant.

It's a lot of pressure to put on a person.

At first it was a guilty pleasure. Now I'm just plain proud of Wendy Williams. 

Yes. You can be proud of a total stranger, and wish them well. 

Not only is she funny, but there is a down-to-earth, just-plain-folks something about her. She's honest, straightforward, transparent, and just opinionated enough not to be offensive. 

She is the epitome of the slogan, "Do you". 

I always laugh when she's asked a question, and gives just the OPPOSITE reply that the audience member is seeking. 

She's fluent, wise and witty. She keeps "it" real in a way that real isn't confused with ignorance, and lack of home training. 

Her show never pretends to be the height of philosophical or critical information, but it does manage to put a smile on your face--and who can't use a smile every now and then?

The sound of the musical guests is impressive, too. None of that "in a can", annoying imbalance that you hear in live television performances.

I took a break from TV for almost 2 months. I watched the Aretha Franklin interviews, though, and realized I was getting all misty--and remembered how much I came to like the Wendy Show. 

In the interview, her gratitude came through, as did her genuine respect of people, and admiration of their accomplishments. Her questions weren't condescending, invasive or inappropriate. Her manner was kind.

I get the feeling that she is truly enjoying what she does, and is so appreciative of the opportunity. 

She's shining her light. Shouldn't everyone?

 

She's making the most of her abilities. 

Taking advantage of now. 

Learning from the past. 

Comfortable in her own skin. 

Dismissing naysayers. 

Taking risks. 

Cultivating confidence. 

Having faith.

Having a ball! 

Shouldn't we all? Don't we all have dreams, and when they materialize, it's darn near impossible not to let the world know how thankful you are--especially when you know that there is no guarantee that you will actually get what you want?

Good for you, Wendy Joan.

"...sometimes all it takes is just someone to say certain things." ~Aretha Franklin