FRIDAY THOUGHTS: A BAD DREAM

I had a lovely day yesterday. 

I even turned in at a reasonable hour last night, however, I woke up this morning flustered and shaking. 

I don't know if I was crying in my dream, or if my cries were aloud. 

I took a deep breath, and felt that trembling/ rattling thing--that telltale sign, "

Yep. You've been crying".

I dreamed I was sitting at a large dining table in the home of a friend. 

Others were there, and we were enjoying a great meal, laughing and talking. 

Suddenly, we heard a key being inserted in the lock, and the door opened. 

My friend poked his head in, and was singing. "Finally!" we all shouted. "Where have you been?"

 He then closed the door, opened it again, and sang again. His voice was low, words slurred, and he didn't sound like himself at all. 

Then he just stood there, with the door wide open.

 He was wearing a beautiful grey wool coat. His shirt, slacks and shoes would have completed a stunning ensemble, except we noticed his shirt tail was out,  and his pants were unzipped. 

He was trying to stuff his shirt tail back into his pants with one hand, but wasn't having much success.

 Someone got up from the table to greet him. 

It was cold outside, and everyone was complaining, "Close the door! There's a draft in here!" 

He was grinning as he stood in the doorway, but saying nothing. His countenance wasn't sinister, just mischievous--goofy even--sort of like the expressions of the TV characters George Sunday and Father Dougal McGuire. 

There was a deliberate clueless-ness on his face, as he stood. He wasn't really looking at, nor toward us, but over us, and off into the distance, yet seeming to know that all eyes were on him. 

His own eyes were wide ,and he just stood there. 

I noticed that he had a large suitcase with him, and he seemed to be weaving a bit. 

I wondered if he had driven himself home, or if someone had dropped him off. I wondered if he had been drinking, because he just stood there swaying from side to side, back to front. 

It seemed as if he'd fall. 

The guy who'd gotten up to greet him must have spent 5 or 10 minutes trying to get him to come inside. Finally, he did come in, and staggered around to my side of the table. 

I got up to greet him, and joked about him appearing to be drunk. 

As I reached out, he fell backward. 

I was suddenly on the floor talking to him, asking him if he could hear me. 

I was crying and asking him what happened. 

I put my face close to his so that I could hear what he was saying. Then I screamed for someone to call an ambulance. 

He whispered, "Listen to me because I don't have a lot of time. I can feel myself going". 

He either said, "Keep singing" or "Sing the song". Then he turned his head to the side and closed his eyes. 

I was shaking him and screaming, "No, no, no! Wake up! Please don't go! Please don't go!" I was looking around for someone to help me, but everyone was standing in a semi-circle; looking down at us with sad looks on their faces. 

I was hugging my friend, and crying uncontrollably, then I woke up.

Now, I'm wondering what it all meant.

WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS: RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

Prince and 3rd Eye Girl KILLED on The Arsenio Hall Show a few nights ago. 

Okay. I have an AARP card and I don’t usually use the term "killed" in reference to music (or anything for that matter, other than something that has actually been done away with), but for that performance (and Liv Warfield’s recent performance of “Why Do You Lie” on The Tonight Show), I’ll make an exception.  

It was musically, visually, and technically excellent. Most of all, it was consistent, and allowed Prince to shine. 

The audience was so engaged and happy. The object of their affection was right there with them. 

They honored him with ovations, and reverently listened as he spoke. They even wore purple attire.  

Arsenio wasn't even the star of his own show any more, and he didn’t seem to mind at all! 

He was visibly in awe, from his tone of voice, to his introduction, to his posture. 

You could also tell that they knew each other, and were friends. 

He got out of the way so that Prince's fans could get close to him. 

The skillful performances probably inspired a new generation of fans to find out more about him; explore his previous work, and anticipate what he is going to produce in the future. 

They may have inspired someone to pick up a guitar, or a horn they'd abandoned.

The performances probably motivated people all over the viewing area to open their wallets so that they could hear more whenever they wanted. 

They served their intended purpose with honesty and integrity. Prince and friends were merely being themselves.

I thought about all of that when a worship leader friend asked for suggestions on how to get a congregation more engaged in praise and worship. It may seem like apples and oranges, but bear with me…

Perhaps the problem lies in TRYING to get people to "engage", instead of sincerely engaging in worship one’s self. 

Instead of looking at praise and worship as a genre of Music, or a compartmentalized program item, maybe it should be encouraged to be a part of one’s daily routine. 

Maybe the origins and practices should be taught from a biblical standpoint, so that people will understand. That way, when they assemble with others, it won’t seem so foreign. 

It won’t be something congregations are inclined to watch others do, but because there is a history, relationship, and an expectation, it will be something they willingly do out of gratitude, and a willing heart.

You can’t make people do anything. 

I don’t think even God wants an offering given under duress, and, furthermore, exactly to whose satisfaction should a congregation perform or respond? 

Who are the praise police, and who determines if their praise/worship is up to snuff? 

Are worship leaders looking for signs that people love God, or are they much too preoccupied with whether or not the congregation approves of the song choices for the day, the singers’ voices and the musicians’ skill? 

Who is designated to enforce the degree to which others publicly display their adoration to God, and whether the display is adequate and of sufficient duration?  

(And why does it always stop when the music stops?) 

We’ve all heard frustrated worship leaders loudly chastise, “Oh, ya’ll can do better than that!” …uh…ummm…Do better than WHAT exactly? 

So, if people don’t do cartwheels down the aisles, or holler for fifty-two and a half minutes straight, does it mean that they don’t love God? 

When their combination Funky Chicken/Twerk/Electric Slide ends up on YouTube does that mean their praise has reached maximum engagement? 

Or, could the real issue be, that there’s someone standing in the pulpit who covets applause and adoration for their own performance? 

Are worship leaders on power trips? 

Are they leaning heavily on the “leader” part of their title, and forgetting to worship themselves?

For years, ministers have been comparing congregation’s responses in church to the responses of spectators at sporting events and concerts. 

Maybe people engage at games because what they’re experiencing what it’s like to be free and on one accord, in a corporate setting, with like-minded others—who aren’t constantly judging, comparing, diminishing, and monitoring their loyalty and enthusiasm. 

In their own way, they love their team, or favorite superstar, and as long as the team and superstar know and appreciate it, fans don’t care how others feel about the range of their displays of affection.

No one has to convince me to love what, and who I love. 

If the actual aim was to go into God’s house, gather in His name, and worship Him, we wouldn’t have to wait for someone’s prompting to let us know when the show was starting.  

We “ought to show some signs”, but what, specifically, would worship leaders like to see that will indicate that the congregation is engaged? 

Do they want to see people swinging from the chandeliers or running laps? 

Would identical displays of the worship leader’s style of worship suffice? 

Oh. 

Wait. 

My bad. 

That’s no good, because many times, the worship leader ISN’T worshiping. 

He or she is too busy being on surveillance, and berating the hell-bound heathens who have the audacity to remain seated. 

(Darn those senior citizens.)  

 I thought about a line from the hymn, “Lift Him Up”:

“…let the world in you the Savior see; then men will gladly follow Him who once taught, “I'll draw all men unto Me”.

In the local assembly, where we supposedly gather to worship God, so much of what takes place has little, if anything at all, to do with Him, nor are activities directed toward Him. 

Many times, not even the SONGS indicate understanding concerning the purpose of the weekly convocation. 

The music may be catchy, fast, dance-friendly and fun, but the content is PEOPLE oriented. 

God is lucky if He gets a random shout-out. 

Too often, He is treated as an incidental visitor in His own house. 

Would YOU hang around at a party that's supposed to be for you, if nothing that YOU like is going on, and the name on the cake isn't even yours? 

Would you respond favorably, or stay at a party if you got there and realized the person you came to celebrate was kicked out by people who demanded that you to celebrate THEM instead?

The usual "Get with me/us" angle, will always end in frustration, because many worship leaders are looking for a level of response, or specific responses that are simply NOT due to them. 

Are people standing in awe of God, or because their favorite "jam" got to the "good part"?  

The NET Bible translation of Joshua 24:14 uses the words “integrity” and “loyalty” in reference to attitude toward service and worship.  

Other translations use the words “faithfulness”, “truth”, “wholeheartedly”, “perfection” and “sincerity”.  

If someone tries to, or appears to be forcing you to reverently honor or adore something, perhaps it's because they’ve presumed that you don’t know, love, or appreciate it.  

People will either tune you out, or let you go on until you run out of things to say.  

In a person’s zeal to convince you that something or someone is good, there ought to be some indication that THEY know what THEY’RE talking about. 

If the testimonies of those who are supposed to have experience are gross misrepresentations, why would anyone embrace what they’re talking about? 

If an honest, sincere demonstration of love is witnessed, others may be inclined to want that kind of intimacy as well. 

No one wants to cosign a sham. 

A person can't lead where they don't go; they can't effectively introduce others to someone with whom they have no relationship.

Six to 10 color-coordinated fashionistas, armed with hand-held mikes, and drowning out the congregation and choir, is what many consider worship and praise these days. 

Make it LOOK like a show, silence congregations with songs they don't know, or can't understand, and it's no wonder that some people respond with, "Doggone-it, YOU sing. I paid my money to get in here. I didn't come to help out". 

Worship leaders have to quash the need to "get house". 

When you read about how a particular music ministry "killed", or "slayed" at all forty-three services on a Sabbath, it’s sadly obvious that directing others to God is not the plan.

If leaders have to MANUFACTURE a worship experience, believers (and demons, too) will have NO difficulty seeing that it is not authentic, and will defiantly refuse to respond to it in a favorable way. 

(Notice all of the church shenanigans on YouTube?)

Many look for people’s responses as a sign of effectiveness (clapping, standing, screaming, etc.), but never consider if their carefully choreographed offering is offensive to God. 

Instead of hollering at people and manipulating them with guilt-inducing statements, designed to get their approval, why not just honestly worship?

Why not just be oneself, and make consistency and excellence a priority?

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: MEMORIES OF MISS MAE

When I heard the sad news, I thought back to the early 2000's. 

I recalled how weary I had been from wandering, in heels, around that convention center, like one of the Old Testament children of Israel. 

The rep assigned to me was...well...lost. 

Although she kept apologizing profusely, as I followed her in and out of doors, down hallways, up and down stairs, elevators, and escalators, I felt as if I was in an episode of "The Blind Leading the Blind"....(I think that's the day I began my habit of finding out, before leaving home, as much information as I could about the who, what, when, where, and why of upcoming trips and performances.) 

When we got to the supposed "right place", minutes before I was scheduled to sing, it was obvious that there had been miscommunication again. 

We'd wandered into an announcer's meeting that was wrapping up. 

I wasn't going to get to the mystery room on time. Somebody would be singing that day, but it wouldn't be me. 

I thought that if we ever did find out where I was supposed to be, I'd be too pooped to sing, anyway. 

I decided to sit down on a bench outside of the conference room. 

The apologetic rep walked off to find a place where she could get better reception on her phone. The person on the other end of the line didn't sound too happy. I actually wondered if I had been scheduled to sing at all. 
That's when Miss Mae happened to be passing by. "What are you doing out here, baby? Are you alright? Are you singing today?" 

"I'm not sure Miss Mae.", I told her. "No one knows where I'm supposed to be." 

It's funny now, but she pursed those lips, and her countenance morphed from cheerful and concerned, to "Who do I have to cut?".

I was from DC. Everyone from DC, I soon learned, was "one of hers" or "her children". 

She looked out for everyone, but DC folk--especially anyone associated with her favorite, Richard Smallwood--held a special place in her heart. 

She switched from security mode to management mode. 

"Well, who's with you? Why DON'T they know? They're supposed to know! This is unacceptable." 

I could almost see her mind working.  

"Look, I'm on duty, but you wait right there. Don't you move. I'll be right back."

 
Like Claire Huxtable, she was still muttering about the senselessness of my situation as she walked away.
When she came back, she said, "Follow me, baby". She was walking like a soldier on a mission. 

I guess I wasn't keeping up, so she grabbed my hand. She led me into a full auditorium where a concert was about to take place, walked straight to the front left of the stage, whispered into a gentleman's ear, pointed at me, came back and said, "Just sit here, baby. It might be a few minutes, but just listen for your name. Then she hugged me. I think she knew that all I really wanted to do was leave.

"Now, I gotta get back on my post, but if you need anything else, you find ME, you hear?"

The music I heard really cheered me up. I'd actually forgotten all about my sore feet and singing. After a delegation from Japan left the stage, I heard my name, and it startled me. 
In a matter of minutes, she had picked up and scored with the ball that others had dropped. 

She was known for getting things done.

Rest in peace, Miss Mae, and I'll remember: "You can't be passive all the time, baby". 

Much love to the Atterberry family, especially my "Vision" brother Dayle--a dutiful, loving son if there ever was one...: )

HERE'S TO LOVE

Happy Valentine's Day! I'm hoping that the freezing, schizophrenic, snowy weather we've experienced, solidly put the brakes on all shady plans, and gave folks one less thing about which to feel remorse--or consult a physician.
I'm hoping that married folk are not secretly hoping to be single, and single folk are not wishing the day would hurry up and end, before they're moved to punch in the throat the next person who sympathetically says "Be patient. Your day is coming".
I'm hoping that the gifts you received, or gave today were motivated by love, and not overwhelming guilt. I'm hoping that your bliss is not fabricated to impress or taunt others, or to further deceive yourself. (Watch out for that inclination to boast, unless you're sure of what you've got in a spouse or significant other. You just might push someone into telling you something you don't really want to know.) 
Finally, here's hoping that your relationship is mutually fulfilling, genuine, solid, and consistent-- in front of, and behind closed doors.
Now go on and celebrate you crazy kids. 
Love wins... )

THURSDAY THOUGHTS: JOB 37:6

Snow is a great equalizer...even an agent of improvement. 

Last week, I wished that I could convince Dennison's Nursery/Landscapers, or some local company to adopt our condominium community. 

Landscaping students need somewhere to practice, don't they? 

There's been so much damage done, as people have repeatedly used the lawn as a shortcut, and trampled the grass so often, that only unsightly dirt patches remain in some places. 

Now, when it rains, the dirt runs down to the entrance of the gate and collects there, causing every foot to track mud up the walkway and into the building. 

As a 4ft. mound of over 100 bags of stinking garbage, broken household items and furniture, left there on Monday, was finally hauled away last Wednesday, even more damage to the lawn was evident.

Thank God it's cold. I never thought I would hear my springtime-adoring self singing the praises of Winter.

 
I was searching the internet for the best grass seed for high traffic areas. I was considering buying a rake, a shovel, bulbs, and some red bricks, and channeling my late mother's gardening skills.

Yep. I was gonna take matters into my own hands. 
I like looking out of the window. I believe beauty can be there. Beauty isn't just reserved for other neighborhoods. It can be found in Bellevue, too. 

The workers at The Colonnade Apartments have the right idea. Every day, they're picking up trash. 

Like clockwork, they're tending the lawn. 

Early this morning, a worker used a snow blower to clear the sidewalks and walkways. 

I wanted to pay him to cross the street, as we waited for contractors to arrive to clear our walkways, but patience paid off--and they're doing a fine job.

Last night, it snowed. 

It was an answer to an unspoken prayer. 

The lawn is beautiful today. 

Everyone's lawn is beautiful, today. 

Maybe something miraculous is happening underneath the snow. 

Maybe by the time it melts, there will be some recovery. Maybe people will care. 

Environment matters--inside and out.

"He says to the snow, 'Fall on the earth,' and to the rain shower, 'Be a mighty downpour."

 ~Job 37:6. 

I'd like to think he did it just for me.

The quiet was disturbed a little after 2 PM. 

I guess some neighborhood kids were suffering from a bout of cabin fever, and decided that underneath my window was the best place to yell, scream, and build a pitiful snowman. 

Oh well. 

The pristine snow was nice while it lasted. 

The beautiful white blanket I'd admired all day was trounced. 

It had covered all of last week's ugliness, and in a matter of minutes our lawn was an eyesore again. How does one mess up snow? 

I temporarily turned into a crabby old woman; even considered how unreasonable I was being, but still hoped for more snow to cover the lawn again. 

I heard the weather reports. 

I've imagined that the real reason it's snowing again tonight is because, like any determined community leader committed to fighting blight; like a business owner painting over graffiti on a wall, the Lord is gonna continue commanding the snow to fall until the air we breathe is clean and fresh. 

It's going to fall until certain unsupervised little darlings (who apparently didn't have enough snow in front of their own houses), and uncaring adults understand they don't have to destroy beauty when they see it. 

Things CAN be clean, picturesque, and tidy in the 'hood--especially snow...lol

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: "VISION" REHEARSAL DIARIES

The littlest sentry--Mozart "Barney Fife" Smallwood. "Why are you sitting next to Angie, Vanessa? Oh. I forgot You're a soprano, now. Carry on...and watch your pitch." 
When, by virtue of his bionic hearing, he is not announcing that someone is at the door, he's walking around as if to make sure we're singing our parts correctly. Then, he goes back to his post at Richard's feet, under the piano, and surveys the room. He will often come out, especially if we're drilling the same part or notes, take center stage, open his tiny mouth as widely as he can, and "sing", too. He tends to suffer from separation anxiety, though. He hasn't quite differentiated when we're just standing up to sing, from when we're standing up to pray and leave when rehearsal is over. Poor little thing just freaks out: "No! Where are you all going? Sit down, all of you! Sing! Play something, Richard! Don't let them escape!" 

I love listening to my "Vision" rehearsal memos--the music and the conversation..."Classical, classical, classical..."
"Oh. My bad. I had jazz hands..."
"No. You didn't do it right..."
"Mozart, please, Sir, come here sit down, chill..." 
"Almost 20 years...for real?"  
Richard: People always ask, "So. Do you have different people?" I say no. I mean, you know, we lost two...
Sharon: And we graduate to the HEAVENLY choir when we leave up outta here!...We go from HERE to GLORY! lolol 
Richard: Especially people in the industry. They were like, well, how are the same people still with you? I say because they're dedicated... 
Sharon: 'Cause RICHARD is the same. He doesn't get crazy and new and mental like some other celebrities...We don't get cussed out, we don't get stuff thrown at us, we don't have to sleep on the floor, six to a motel...lolololol
Maurette: So, like seriously. Poppa is a big deal...I hope we never take for granted just how humongous this man here is..." 
~"Vision" Rehearsal Diaries

PEACEFUL DAY

“And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:” 
Luke 10:39-41

There have been times when, in the midst of a task I wondered:
1. Why do I have to do this again?
2. Where are the countless others who can do the same thing?
3. Why aren’t others chastened for their lack of service, availability, and commitment?
4. Am I being used or misused? What have I gotten myself into?
5. What is signified by my willingness to serve?
6. Why can’t others see the need to help?
7. What would happen if I say "No", or stop altogether?

Those questions racing around in your head point to truth. Either your motives for doing a thing aren’t pure, you’re experiencing self imposed burn-out, it’s time to ask for the help you need, or you’re just a little full of yourself and need to take a nap. When you fool around and prove yourself competent at a thing, it can be a mixed blessing. Being assigned a task, and having the natural ability to accomplish it is one thing.  Taking on a task and having the will and wherewithal to complete it is another. Assuming a job, and finding out that it may require more helping hands than your own might be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be a source of intimidation. It certainly shouldn’t reduce you to becoming a tantrum-throwing tattle tale. 
In the passage of scripture, we aren’t told that Martha’s duties were frivolous. Whatever she was doing was probably valid. Nor are we told that Mary was prone to fits of laziness. What we do see, is someone whose attitude toward her work was in need of a little adjustment. It was her attitude that caused Jesus to essentially tell her to get a grip.
Often, we make the mistake of perceiving that our particular task or expertise is more important, preferred, needed, or pressing. What is this need to turn everything into a competition? Could it be approval that we truly seek? As we serve, are we secretly looking for validation, or even a simple thank you? Are we ever evaluating why we serve, and who we represent?Is it a good idea to do so?

 The levels of commitment of individuals are evaluated often. It doesn’t require some lengthy questionnaire. Just think about the number of times you hear, “I can’t do it”, “I’m sorry, I have another engagement”, “I have a standing appointment on that day”, “I have to work”, or any of a host of excuses--valid or otherwise. It’s not difficult to see who makes up the core workers in front of, and behind the scenes. They’re the people you see all of the time, and if they’re missing, you really do miss them. Does this imply that there’s no one else capable of doing their jobs? Of course not! We have a tendency to stick with what has been proven. We gravitate toward the things and people we trust. We’re choosy, for example, about whose cakes or pies we’ll eat. We go to restaurants and look for our favorite waiters and waitresses. We’re loyal to a particular dry cleaner, plumber, doctor, mechanic, or beautician. Based on past experience, we gravitate to what, or who works best for us, and we’re not often eager to change.
I’ve heard people make the statement that a small percentage of people are always doing the lions’ share of the work in any organization. Sometimes I wonder if that’s the case because some people don’t really want help, and perhaps, without even knowing it, they chase good help away. A new person on a task is one thing. A competent new person can be looked upon as threatening. Shouldn’t we, however, be always about the work of mentoring and grooming others to continue the work? Just as there is enough work to go around, there’s certainly enough praise! 
We simply must be sure that our service is not questionable. Someone said that "the road to hell is paved with good intentions", but good intentions are not necessarily bad. If the intents of our hearts are understood by those with whom we work, everyone will be motivated to work in concert. When our intentions are understood, there is no room for skepticism, doubt or impure motives. When we work on one accord, and with one mind, we can create a powerful atmosphere! 
Imagine if Judas had helped Mary to anoint Jesus instead of berating her action and calling it a waste. Imagine if he could have been able to see the purity of her actions, and understand her intentions! Mary sought an opportunity to serve and found it. Judas acted as if he was being somehow inconvenienced by the service that Jesus was given. Mary was not pampering him, or manipulating him for her own personal gain. Mary valued the Lord. He needed to be served in that way. In her eyes, nothing she could have done for him would have been a waste. What she did was necessary and proper. Judas could not see the significance of her actions because he had reduced Jesus to an earthly king who was dispensable. To him, Jesus was a commodity by which he could personally achieve financial gain. He never realized that Mary was serving a man who is the greatest example of a true servant.
When we serve, attitude is everything.