SUNDAY THOUGHTS: CONFRONTATION

Today, I witnessed a nuisance being handled with such wisdom and care.

It was marvelous.

Brilliant. 

Neither a hand, nor volume of voice was raised.

This voice maintained a calm, patient, understanding tone, but was in no way weak.  

It may not have been the method of choice for some people, considering the persistence of the nuisance, but it certainly proved to be the best.

 

In the midst of instruction, on what to do when one is in a desperate situation, a contrary individual decided to abruptly take center stage. 

It couldn't have been more ironic. 

Perhaps alcohol, drugs, or mental challenges were involved, that demanded a more sympathetic stance than a combative one. 

Others wanted to pounce and eject the offender. 

They quickly positioned themselves. 

Frankly, whatever physical tactics they would have employed, would have been understandable and justified. 

The interruption was crass and unruly; highly inappropriate and disrespectful. It deserved to be carried out kicking and screaming. 

As annoying as it was; as much as the nuisance tried to escalate the situation, it was not allowed to prevail. 

I thought that, perhaps, were the atmosphere not so quiet, the nuisance would have simply blended in with any acceptable noise. 

The occasional crying of a baby wasn't disruptive; it didn't hamper progress, but the nuisance was determined to make itself known. 

It was intent on drawing as much attention to itself as possible. 

It lacked finesse or grace. It was loud, profane and angry. It flew in the face of the dignity and sacredness of the situation. Perhaps it challenged it.  

A calmer spirit prevailed, however, and I had such respect for the leadership. 

He'd just stated that, sometimes, desperate situations come as a way for God to bring us back to our knees. The nuisance qualified as a desperate situation, interrupted the carefully crafted program, and inspired unscheduled prayer. 

It also forced everyone to immediately put the points of the message to work:

1. "Think back on our history with God, and recall          his goodness."

2. "Remember how he had blessed us personally."

3. "Amass the necessary resources."

4. "Believe in the power of God."

Considering the nuisance, God's power was sorely needed. Considering our lives, any one of us could have been the nuisance.

The situation was an eye opener, and, fortunately, prepared me for an eerily similar nuisance that met me at my door when I arrived back at home. 

Some people just want to be acknowledged. 

Their lives are so broken, and they don't know how to turn it around. 

Substance abuse, and its deceptive nature, keep them in a constant state of confusion. 

But then, other, supposedly sober people, simply seek to intimidate, inspire fear, bully and provoke confrontation. 

I'm wondering if, sometimes, they are not all one in the same.

 

What everyone really needs is a solid relationship with God. 

More than that, people need to see God in action. They need to see Him in us. 

It's easy to dismiss people, especially when they make a nuisance of themselves. 

It's more difficult to engage in love, when it's easier and more desirable to call 911, distance oneself, ignore, complain--or just punch someone's lights out.

Never let a nuisance fluster you. 

It only THINKS it's in charge. 

Respond incorrectly, and the consequences may be explosive. 

Handled properly, you gain respect points, maintain your composure, keep order--and maybe even win someone over to the bright side.

1 CORINTHIANS 5:8

 Rest in peace, Olivia Swinton and Vesta Williams. I'm grateful that our paths crossed.

WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS: AN INNOCENT MAN?

A stranger is in trouble. 

The problem with most of us, is that we don't know the whole truth about him, or the situation that landed him in prison. 

We can research, and read, and listen to pundits and news reporters, but we are still a bit powerless. 

We have no idea about a person's innocence or guilt. We weren't there. 

All we can respond to, is what we have been told. 

By our opinions, we also prove our ignorance of the law. 

Our hearts and emotions speak louder than anything else. 

We want common sense to prevail. 

What seems like a simple matter is more complicated than we think it should be, and the unwillingness to make things right in our eyes, is infuriating. 

We don't know the particulars. 

We just don't like the idea of an innocent person being punished for something he or she didn't do (especially if that person is one of us --or one of "US"). 

It's not fair, or right, but it's real. 

Racism, injustice, lying, deception, racial profiling, wickedness, and anything else we can associate with the travesty of the day, do exist.

Sometimes we bank on the integrity of people who don't have any. 

Surely, the person who actually committed the crime won't just sit back and do nothing. 

They'll feel horrible, speak up and turn themselves in, won't they?

We want "somebody" to do something. 

We feel helpless. 

We take jabs at the judicial system. 

We don't see what's so difficult about a change of decision. 

We look to leaders--people we think have more clout or importance than we do. Surely, one word from THEM will make a difference, right? 

IS there a federal issue about which the President could ask for an investigation, and halt the execution of Troy Davis? 

Does the Commander-in-Chief have no more options in the matter than the rest of us? 

Is this a job for Superman?

Fact is, we can tweet, and post, and picket, and sign petitions, and call our congressmen and women all day if we like. Will what we do change anything at all? Will we wake up in the morning, shake our collective heads, and read that a man was put to death in spite of all we think we knew, yet could do nothing about?

Is it time to pray?
After He has, once again, proven Himself faithful, we, so often, stop talking to God and resume our regularly scheduled programming. I hope this time, we keep talking--even if it's not an emergency.

"...the "bias against punishment" had its roots in "the most famous of all miscarriages of justice: Christ's crucifixion." ~Alexander Volokh

"...no man, if guilty, is ever acquitted with himself as the judge, though he may have won in the courtroom..." ~Juvenal

"All guilt is punished on earth." ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"SURE it's better to let 10 guilty men go free than to convict an innocent man in the case where the man's REALLY completely innocent" ~R. Park

"If anyone is destined for captivity, to captivity he goes." ~Revelation 13:10

"Keep thee far from a false matter; and the innocent and righteous slay thou not: for I will not justify the wicked." ~Exodus 23:7

"A lamentable condition is that of an innocent man, to whom haste and procedure have found a crime.." ~Jean de La Bruyère

"It would be as pernicious to leave the guilty unpunished as to punish innocent people." ~Renward Garcia Medrano

"Nothing is more easy than thus to philosophize and act the patriot for others." ~Samuel Romilly

"...ideally, the acquittal of 10 guilty persons is exactly 10 times as great a failure of justice as the conviction of one innocent person."

"...my case is exceptional. I'm innocent! We are all exceptional cases. We all want to appeal something!..." ~Albert Camus

"A guilty man punished is an example for the rabble; an innocent man condemned is a matter for all honest people." ~Jean de La Bruyère

"What I want is justice for that one innocent man, but not a free ride for the guilty ones." ~Elsie Tu

"Most Americans would allow a considerable number of guilty persons to go free than to convict any appreciable number of innocent men." ~HJF

"It's better to turn five guilty men loose than it is to convict one innocent man. " ~Thomas Berry Bruce

"It's better for four guilty men to go free, than one innocent man to be imprisoned." ~George Raveling

"American jurisprudence is contradictory and tormented on the subject of guilty men." ~Alexander Volokh

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: BY ANY OTHER NAME

A Twitter follower asked, "What title do you prefer? Inspirational or Gospel Music? Why?"

I couldn't help but wonder. 

What gospel? 

Whose gospel? 

THE Gospel? 

One religious teacher's or lay person's interpretation of the Christian message may be lacking; contrary to God's message concerning Christ, salvation, and His kingdom. 

Linking anything to THE Gospel implies a standard that frankly, some things don't meet.

Call music "gospel", and there's a listener expectation, (a demand, even, if the listener is a churchgoer or Bible student) that reaches beyond the mere making of good music, and searches the message of the music AND the life of the artist, for adherence to Scripture. 

Artists are often given the moniker "minister", "Levite" (or deemed frauds), when it may not be fitting, merited-- or wanted.

You can't back someone into a corner, and insist that they clarify their allegiance to something if they've never taken a stand. 

Perhaps that's why some people won't.

Call music "inspirational" and it's safer. 

It may also be a more honest pronouncement than that of someone who markets something as "gospel", has a plan to use it, but no desire to truly embrace The Gospel. 

Calling music "inspirational" can be vague. 

It can be appreciated by a wider audience. 

It doesn't require a strict commitment to any religious sect, text, belief system, or an actual relationship with God. 

Anyone can say that they received a revelation and share it. 

Anyone can say that they were divinely influenced, inspired, or so moved emotionally or intellectually, that they responded by creating a musical composition. 

None of that necessarily makes the composition "good news" for everyone.

Fortunately "gospel" has a way of side stepping the motives of those who pimp/sponsor/use/misuse it, and is still reaching people all over the world.

SATURDAY THOUGHTS: TODAY?

September is flying by as if it desperately wants to be over. 

I forgot something special today. I even wrote it down, and STILL it slipped my mind. No. It fell out, rolled down a hill, and lodged itself between two boulders behind a large tree, in very tall weeds. 

I declined several invitations, in favor, and anticipation of what I was supposed to do today. Today's date never even registered this morning. There was no trigger at all. No phone call, no email, no text message, no reminder. I wasn't supposed to need one. Today's plan has been in the works since May. 

I feel horrible about missing it. I'm exploring all kinds of methods to make sure this never happens again, but I was pretty sure I'd done all of the necessary things to remember. Apparently not. 

Were there unusual factors or sequences of events about THIS time? 

Does my failure to remember mean that it wasn't important to me? 

Is my plate too full? 

Crying didn't help, but I had a good cry for my forgetfulness. Letting down a friend is never the plan. I imagine my name will be "mud" for a while, in spite of my past record of remembering. "OMG! Did you hear what she did? She FORGOT! How could she do such a heinous thing?"

I think I'll start reading Joseph T. Hallinan's book, "Why We Make Mistakes". I can understand how this happened. I just don't want to let myself off the hook just yet.

Maybe I should stop saying I'm getting old--even in jest. YESTERDAY, I had that strong feeling that I should be somewhere. That feeling clearly arrived a day in advance. It should have smacked me upside the head this morning, or while I was casually strolling the aisles at Rite-Aid.

It's worse when you don't even have a tragic, understandable excuse. I wasn't sick, no one died, there was no flat tire, traffic, traffic accident, road closing, earthquake, fire or flood. I simply forgot, and forgetting isn't one of those things that usually gets you a sincere, "I understand". 

Sometimes, you just have to welcome yourself to the human race.
There's some Malcolm Gladwell philosophies at work here somewhere. You really have to consider all of the little things. 

I could think of all kinds of reasons and scenarios, and what-ifs. It still doesn't change the fact that I can do nothing about it now, except feel very badly--and go back to my old habit of writing things down—with a Sharpie— on a very large, strategically placed, and of course, ARTSY wall calendar.

*SIGH*

SATURDAY THOUGHTS: THE VILLAGE DAUGHTERS

I am appreciating and thanking God for my mother, grandmothers, aunts, female teachers--every woman who sowed positive seeds into my life--a little bit more today. 

I am applauding my daughter in such a huge way, too. 

I am so sincerely grateful for God's grace, mercy and protection. 

I am grateful for everything my daughter and I share, even if it's just a hearty laugh.

My heart aches for two moms, who I don't even know. Two moms who, like me, only wanted the best for their daughters. 

Two moms who worked and sacrificed. 

Two moms who probably bragged about their girls' academic achievement. 

Two moms who hoped their daughters lives would excel beyond their dreams for them; 

Two moms who, perhaps, only wanted their daughters to be able to adequately and effectively take care of themselves, and become upstanding, contributing members of society.

I feel so badly for anyone who has lost a child in ANY manner, at any age--especially to senseless violence.

The Bowie State tragedy is so troubling to me. 

Not too long ago, I too, drove away and left my child on the campus of a university. 

She, too, from time to time, had roommates. 

I don't want to imagine the dangers that were lurking, during her college days, that some responsible, alert, caring adult(s) nipped in the bud on my behalf. (Thank you, Jesus.) 

 When you send your baby to college, you imagine that he or she might not come back home because they landed some cushy, well-paying job in their college's town after graduation--not because he or she was murdered.

I looked at the twitter timelines of both young women, and had to stop. 

I was suddenly reminded, yet again, that I am definitely getting old. 

I wondered exactly when was any school work being done. 

I wondered if dorm monitors/counselors are a thing of the past. 

I wondered if there was any attempt at separating these young women. 

I wondered if there is a conflict resolution component at the university. 

I hoped and prayed that the twitter powers-that-be would take down both pages, so that their mothers wouldn't ever see them; so that news media outlets, that seem to get a lot of their news from social networking sites, would not see them and begin to quote them. 

Too late. 

I hoped that other young women would wake up and realize that their OWN online behavior--what names they choose to call themselves, how they describe themselves, what they say to represent themselves-- was equally degrading, damaging and unwise.

These days warnings and red flags are flying right in our faces, and we aren't paying attention. 

We've dismissed things as harmless; innocent fun; youthful indiscretion; free speech. 

We're afraid to confront, and hesitant to correct. 

We still haven't succeeded in educating some young people that "I'm not hurting anybody but myself" is one of the stupidest statements known to man. 

Troubled people are all around us, publicly crying out for help in varying ways, and our response is often, "Do you", murmuring, or silence. 

The trouble is no longer reserved for, or to be blamed on "da hood".

It's unfortunate when the only, appropriate response SHOULD be sadness and sympathy, but because of your OWN words and behavior, not only is sympathy replaced by suspicion, ridicule, jokes and judgment, but your own words MAY be used to help the case of the person who has done you the greatest, permanent, irrevocable harm.

I have so many random questions.

1. Is ANYONE teaching English grammar and composition,spelling, or principles of speech in schools any more?
2. When did young women become so horribly and happily vulgar and profane?
3. Are we declaring young people mature too soon?
4. Is ANYONE schooling young people of the dangers of irresponsible social networking habits?
5. Are young people aware that their resume is NOT the only thing schools and employers are perusing these days?
6. Are parents checking out, turning a blind eye and deaf ear? Are they computer illiterate?
7. If the whole online world can see your child's social networking site, why can't you, and WHY aren't you saying something?
8. If the supposed best and the brightest are wilding out in real time, at institutions of higher learning, is it time to storm elementary schools and try to reverse the tide?
9. Are we teaching our children that their actions have consequences?
10. Have ALL of us "villagers" dropped the ball?

There's nothing I can do about what has happened except feel the way I do, and pray, I suppose. 

There is something I can do today, and God willing, the rest of my days, in my own community, though. 

I have an adult child, so it may be said that I don't have a dog in the hunt, but I grew up at a time when you technically had one mother, but all of the other mothers--including total strangers-- were like surrogates; not afraid to help you stay on the right path by any means necessary. 

Our daughters have to know that they have potential; they don't have to seek attention by being loud, trifling, foul-mouthed, indiscreet, abrasive, argumentative, combative, defensive, nasty, drunken, etc.

It's one thing for someone else to deliberately try and tell your story to potentially ruin your reputation or shame your name. It's another to tell it yourself in segments of 140 words or less, and potentially mute the good and positive aspects of your own life.

TRIED AND TRUE

Shame on businesses, specifically random phone companies, that deliberately target senior citizens and lure them with promises of lower long distance rates, but respond slowly, ignorantly, or not at all when services fail, need Verizon's help to fix EVERY problem, then stick the trusting seniors with a repair bill that eats away all of the money they were SUPPOSED to have saved as a result of switching FROM Verizon in the first place.
Talk to the senior citizen in your life. Look out for shady creditors among their bills if you can. Though they may have caller ID, many seniors don't bother to check it, and then ignore numbers that most likely belong to slick telemarketers. Even the wisest of our elder family members, friends or acquaintances have been convinced to open their wallets and purses to contribute to hoax charities, or pay for poor products and services. Make sure they haven't been scammed.

I'm all for entrepreneurial spirit, and keeping an eye on monopolies, but if it's supposed to be new and better, then...well...it should be new and better. There are companies and brands that consumers have trusted for years, and new companies and brands know that. If they want your business, they have to be awfully special--provide exceptional service that trumps that to which a consumer has grown accustomed. The thought of saving a few dollars is always a good thing to plant in the mind. It would be nice if quality and good customer service don't have to be sacrificed in the quest to save a few dollars.