END OF THE YEAR

LETTERS I WANT TO SEND:
Dear Managers who post an employee outside in the cold at the broken drive-through speaker,
Give them a chair, a table, something hot to drink, and post the following sign:
TELL THIS GUY RIGHT HERE WHAT YOU WANT! Make sure the employee wears the FULL regalia of your business--the more distinctive, the better--i.e. A company logo-emblazoned, yellow, red, white, and/or striped get-up, balloons, funny hat, Ronald McDonald costume,--- or something--ANYTHING, that CLEARLY identifies them as one of yours.
Face it. A suspicious looking guy lurking behind your establishment, wearing a big black parka over his all black attire, leaning against the brick wall smoking a cigarette, who, when seeing a car approaching, suddenly comes bounding over and asking, "Hey. You 'bout to place a order?", may be the reason why cars are speeding off and business is slow.

DEAR POST OFFICE,
Some branches are clean...and have someone at every window...and a passport office...They should all be that way.

DEAR WALMART, CLINTON, MD.,
Move the "site to store" department to the front of the store...near the parking lot.

DEAR PEOPLE WHO CRANK UP YOUR CAR STEREO MUSIC AT THE GAS STATION AND AT RED LIGHTS,
Stop it.

DEAR APARTMENT AND CONDO DWELLERS,
When your neighbors can identify the song you're playing by the bass line alone, your music is too loud.

*********

NOTES TO SELF:
1.Keep popcorn, paper towels, toilet paper, Lysol and Clorox in stock in case it snows, or almost snows, or they say it's going to snow--and it doesn't.
2.Keep the cell phone charged and remember to take it with you when you leave home.
3.Verify, verify, verify. Name droppers will have you participating in all kinds of foolishness that benefits no one but themselves.


RANDOM THOUGHTS:

Time is valuable. People can't be allowed make demands upon it if the only one paying the price is you.

Nope. The design isn't faulty. Some things demand to be handled gently, or they simply won't work.

Some people will ingratiate themselves with your family, not because they love anyone in it, but because they hate the unity it represents and seek to destroy it. They will go so far as to abandon, neglect or ignore their own families just to keep tabs on yours. If you allow it, and expect your family to be enamored with strife-loving intruders, you're a fool. If you sit clueless as your family is negatively impacted by the inappropriate behavior of your friends, you're a colossal fool.
No real friend will persistently and deliberately cause friction in your household. Protect and cover your family. Make sure that you have set boundaries, or your family will be forced to do it themselves--and it may mean alienating you. People who treat others like crap, or condone crappy behavior have an uncanny knack of always wondering where everyone went to, and then blame them for making themselves scarce.

You're cool with some folk, until you refuse to assist them in ridiculing and gossiping about someone they used to call "friend".

Some folk prefer and promote ridicule and gossip, and consider prayer to be weak, useless, cowardly and outdated. Don't be surprised if these same people own Bibles.

It doesn't matter who says it. If something sounds fishy, investigate, then be wise with the information you find.

THURSDAY THOUGHTS: PUT THE "MERRY" BACK IN CHRISTMAS

Holidays bring joy and happiness to some, and knock-down drag-out fights and arguments to others. 

It wouldn't be difficult to have joy all around if folks would only cooperate. 

Cooperation, however, would mean abandoning one's selfish love for contention, and for some people, that's a difficult habit to break. 

In many households, things just don't seem to be right on December 25th unless someone is crying, offended, embarrassed, disappointed, confused, bitter or hurt. 

Happy holidays, it seems, are reserved for the people on TV. 

For some, it just wouldn't be Christmas unless someone isn't speaking to someone else, or is giving serious side-eye across the macaroni and cheese. 

When one is the cause, AND promoter of strained relationships, one can't very well complain or brag about what one HAS to do to deal with it.

Some people run their mouths, and keep mess going from December to December. They REFUSE to own that they are the project manager in charge of the implementation and continuation of strife and confusion. 

This holiday season, don't find yourself at odds with people because of what someone else said or did. 

If you just HAVE to be mad at folk, distant, throwing shade, rude, mean or insensitive, let it be because of what THEY did or said to you--not because you have been instructed/ encouraged to do so by some drama-loving control freak. 

The only thing some people hate worse than history is the truth. 

That's why they're obsessed with maintaining control of current events--and whether and how the stories are told.

Use your head. 

Pray for wisdom and discernment. 

Know when you're being manipulated, lied to, and conned. 

When the common denominator for long-lasting negativity is found, it may not be the person you suspected. 

It may be the person whose credibility, upon which, you would have staked your OWN reputation. 

There's a reason why some people want you to be at odds with others. If you get past being mad, judgmental, and critical as a result of what you've been fed, sit down, and EVER talk...Lord, have mercy..."seeing the light" will take on a whole new meaning.

It's never comfortable finding out that you have been systematically pitted against other people, or discussed in less than glowing terms--but knowledge is power. 

Knowing where you stand with others, is key to going forward more freely, in heart and mind. 

Some people think that you are the scum of the earth--not because of anything you have done, but because of what they have been told by someone close to you.

Walk in truth. If it means getting to the bottom of things, and finding out where the trouble ACTUALLY lies, it will be the best present you, your family and friends can give to each other. 

Forgiveness is not debatable, but you certainly can know who you can share things with and be close to, and who requires you to break out that "long handled spoon" that everybody's grandmother used to talk about. 

Don't wonder why your business is in the street, and then forget in whom you have confided. 

While you're picking up pieces of a story with your name in it (but you don't recognize) from every near or far alley and corner, is not the time to be mad at the people who are looking at you funny because of what they heard. 

Want to keep people out of your ACTUAL business? Keep your mouth shut--besides, folk are going to make up stuff anyway. 

Have something worthwhile and edifying to say? 

Shout it from the rooftops.

Don't buy into other people's wars. 

Don't allow yourself to be dragged into conflict or taking sides in a fight in which you have no interest. 

Pay attention. 

Listen. 

You can always find the holes and discrepancies in what people say, if you do. 

Forget about being offended. 

Harboring manipulatively imposed offense is the enemy to necessary, potentially enlightening, air-clearing conversation. 

Face it. Some people simply can't have you clear-headed and getting along with certain others. It messes up their program, cramps their style and interferes with their schemes.

A new year is coming. 

Declare it free of busybodies, gossips, schemers, manipulators, drama kings AND queens, imposition, rudeness, and all manner of inappropriateness that takes inappropriateness to a new and dangerous level.
Say what needs to be said. 

Quash some stuff. 

Stop mess in its tracks. 

Remind people when they have overstepped boundaries. 

Find the nicest most tactful way possible to put the brakes on nosiness and nitpicking. 

Let NO ONE sow seeds of discord in your field. 

No, friend; no acquaintance--NO ONE. 

Shut that down.

I haven't heard, yet, a nice way to tell people to mind their own business, perhaps because there isn't one. 

This Christmas, mind your own tree, and encourage others to mind theirs. 

When people start minding the short fuses, and broken ornaments on their OWN trees, they have little time to interfere with the tinsel on yours.
When YOU stop turning a blind eye to, inviting and allowing strife, and foolishly feeding on, digesting and spreading confusion, you just MIGHT just put the "merry" back into your family's Christmas. 

Peace on Earth starts with peace in your home...

#NowPlaying Rachelle Ferrell, "Peace On Earth" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XlIiBP9jQU&feature=related

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: CARE LESS

People only do what they are allowed to do. Others do what they are encouraged to do. You've got to decide how you are going to allow yourself to be impacted by the behavior of others.

Some people treat you horribly--not because of anything you have done--but because of what they have been told, and chose to believe. The longer they have been trained to hate you, the more difficult it will be to engage them in any meaningful way. You have to decide whether or not you will continue to allow them in your life at all.

There is nothing that you can do about what other people think. Put down that cross--especially if you have been carrying it since childhood. Lose your defensive stance. Stop expecting pleasant conversation, laughter and merriment. Ain't gonna happen. It is fruitless to try and sway the opinion of someone who doesn't like you in the first place. It's even more hopeless when the negative information they have been, and are currently fed, is coming from someone close to you. Nothing you say in your defense will matter. Sometimes people have to be made to see the light--even then, they'll prefer to remain in darkness.

Some people aren't going to try to get to know you for themselves. They'd rather operate on hearsay, and think the worse. Let them. You don't have to allow their behavior to rattle you. You also don't have to entertain them. Isn't it amazing how abusive, manipulative people want people around to abuse and manipulate?

If it is important to you to be liked and appreciated, finding out that you have enemies may be a hard pill to swallow. Finding out that you are held in low esteem by someone close to you may be even more difficult to accept. You can break your neck trying to please people, allow yourself to be taken on guilt trips, jump endlessly through hoops, and bend over backward for people, and still get no love, respect, or consideration. Save your energy. Decide today that the problem is not yours.

When you badmouth others in an attempt to gain sympathy from people, you just might get it, alienate the wrong people, and have to keep the pity party going indefinitely. If you want something, ask for it. You may not get it, but skip trying to manipulate people, or take them on guilt trips to get what you want. They may just call your bluff. besides, when you need help, it's the people you badmouthed who might be the ones who actually show up. How you treat others is so critical.

There's consolation in knowing that truth always prevails, and love always wins. Don't worry. Be happy. Seriously. BE HAPPY. You never know why some people do what they do. Don't let it tangle you up inside. You've got to know that "free indeed" is a good place to be.
A new year is coming. Go into it determined to leave behind any obsession with the opinions and thoughts of others--particularly if they do nothing to enhance or encourage you.
Care less about what people think, and what you know to be true. If there are areas that need work, work on them. But external drama? Have none of it.

JUST SAY , "I FORGOT"

Being unnecessarily suspicious and defensive takes a lot of energy. After a while you won't have to worry about whether or not people are trustworthy. THEY'LL just get tired of being regularly interrogated and constantly under surveillance, and stop dealing with YOU.
Making idle threats against people who know the truth only makes one appear guilty and pitiful. You can't get mad at folks when their actual, FACTUAL memory is working with as much, if not GREATER efficiency as your SELECTIVE memory. The presence of truth and proof makes being in denial, or sticking fiercely to a lie, that much more pathetic.
Say it's in the past. Say you forgot. Say you can't remember. Say there was a misunderstanding. Say you don't want to talk about it. Say you were IMPAIRED, even. But don't accuse someone of being mistaken or negligent. Don't call someone a liar or a traitor. Don't try to damage another person's credibility when your scheme fails, or your story won't hold water. Don't say it didn't occur, when it did. Don't say you didn't know, when you were actually notified. Don't say it wasn't said, when you heard it with your own two ears, or read it with your own two eyes.
Be honest--ESPECIALLY with things that aren't that big a deal. You don't have to go through the trouble of requesting that others charge it to your head OR your heart. If you forgot, Human Being, just SAY that!
One will never come out on top when attempting to cover one's mistakes by making another person look bad--no matter what the cause.

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: TRUTH, INTEGRITY, AND COURAGE

I was watching a program, on which Dr. Maya Angelou was being interviewed. The following words struck me:
"Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently...Even when the person FEELS that they were wrong--I see this today--People who don't BELIEVE what they say, but because they have a HABIT of saying it, and are KNOWN as saying it, they're afraid to say, Listen everybody. You remember what I said last week? I don't believe that."

Dr. Angelou has a history of being right, but she really nailed this one.

SNOW DAY 2010

I never bothered to look out of the windows on last Thursday morning. I was busy preparing to spend another fun day with the Thursday afternoon Art Circle I'd met in the summer. I didn't look outside until around 10:30 AM. "Oh. Alrightee, then. It's snowing!" It was beautiful. It always is-- from the inside. Everything seems so peaceful and serene; the air seems cleaner, and when you have heat, and an ample supply of popcorn and paper products, what more could you ask? I couldn't chill, though. I'd made a promise that I intended to keep.
I asked myself on last Thursday, "WHEN did YOU become the lady who goes out into active snowfall?" Yep. I was out there acting as if I was from Chicago or something. Bounty paper towels are strong and durable, but next time, I'll just use the scraper...and have my gloves...and put my purse in the car, first. Fortunately the books and art supplies and paper were wrapped in plastic, but my cell phone didn't appreciate me allowing it to be covered in snow as I helped my daughter clear the car. The Bounty paper towels saved the day once we were on our way.

I had things to do, and places to go-- and I was going---very slowly and carefully, that is. My daughter did, too, and neither of us seemed particularly concerned about the weather at all.
We got to the I-295 exit off of Chesapeake Street, and there had been an accident between two vehicles. It hits you how grateful you should always be when you see a situation that could very well have your name on it. The way they'd collided made taking the exit impossible, and there was a police cruiser on the scene making sure that no one tried to maneuver around the wreck. 2nd Street, then? Nope. It ends in a nice sharp curve, and I don't care what anyone says, there was NO salt on the roads--at least not a single one upon which we traveled. We turned around, went back up Chesapeake Street, and hooked an easy left on Martin Luther King, Jr. Ave., figuring it was a straight shot to South Capitol Street- and it was. We made it to I-295 North, but it was slow going and traction was tricky. Some drivers were zipping along as if it was the middle of June, while others- like us--inched our way, making sure we kept a nice safe, even paranoid, distance from every other vehicle.
Our first stop would be The Boulevard at the Capital Center, then I would make my way back to The Washington Seniors Wellness Center. It was a little after 11:30. Surely, I'd make it back to DC by 1:00. Wrong.
I dropped off my daughter, and am pretty sure I took a tour of Prince Georges County. There was something about the snow and traffic that positively clouded my brain. Which way to go? The GPS lady had a serious attitude every time she said, "recalculating". Where was she taking me? Certainly not back to DC! I just stopped listening to her. Somehow I made it to Suitland Parkway, then Naylor Road, then Alabama Avenue. I have never been so happy to see a building in my life. Joe, my accompanist for the day, had been patiently waiting at the Center since BEFORE 1:00. He'd already set up his keyboard, speakers and mike. The elders who were there were so gracious. I figured if they could trudge out in the snow, I had absolutely no excuse. Between singing their favorite songs, reading stories and making decorations, I lost track of time. I was having so much fun. I was in no hurry. It was snowing.
By the time it was over, the snow, 2 inches of it, was on the ground. The rest, I suppose God decided to keep in one of his storehouses until the next time.

I made it back to Landover, and I think it was the first time I'd ever driven around the entire shopping complex. I'd forgotten my gloves so I stopped in DSW just knowing they carried gloves. They didn't. Fortunately, Ashley Stewart, DID. I purchased a black pair and a gray pair for myself and my daughter. Then I decided not to sleep on Chick-Fil-A any longer. God Bless them, their hot chocolate, waffle fries, and EXTREMELY polite employees.
I knew I'd be waiting a while for my daughter, so I stopped in Borders and picked up Dave Barry's newest book, and the new John Legend/The Roots CD--and some dark chocolate Lindor truffles...: )
The snow didn't seem to keep the ladies away from the salon and spa and it was delightful just sitting there among pleasant strangers--and even overhearing them talk about people I knew in glowing terms...whew!
When my daughter was done, we drove a lazy 40MPH all the way home via the Capital Beltway.
No slips, no falls, a few skids, but in the end, a very lovely day--snow and all.

SUNDAY THOUGHTS: KEEP PLAYING

When you needed a strong defense, they knew exactly where the trouble was, and from what source it had ALWAYS been coming, but they stood around and allowed you to repeatedly get hit. 

Some faked injuries, or kept quiet--fearing for the security of their own positions, or in an attempt to maintain SOME stability in their weak relationships. 

Others remained on the sidelines to see if you could run the play all by yourself! (Where did they EVER get the idea that you wanted to be a one-man show?) 

Another group didn't want you in the game, or on the team in the FIRST place, and refused to catch a single ball--but they found a way to criticize, accuse, and blame YOU for the lack of progress toward the goal. 

Even when YOU didn't see it, some saw the goal calling you. Many times it was literally within inches of you, and instead of cheering you on and realizing that YOUR victory was also THEIRS, they amassed personal fouls and penalties against their own team.

You've scored in the game, and would be greatly appreciated elsewhere, but you're still on the team--you're just not on their field. 

Some are ecstatic at the thought that you might be inactive, so they check you from time to time--especially when things in their huddle are falling apart. 

For some reason, if you're not playing on THEIR field, it must mean you're not playing at all, so they look periodically to see if they have successfully crushed your spirit and pushed you into the arms of the opposition. 

When they realize they have misjudged you, or face the SAME trouble they willingly visited upon you-- from the SAME players with whom they used to run--they seek YOU to be their sounding board, or to offer advice on how to proceed. WHAT?! Seriously? (It's true. What goes around comes back around like a rabid pit bull on new-improved crack.)

They aren't even playing to win, now. No. They're just busy. They've forgotten the rules, the objective, and the plan. They're just happy now if they can even get CLOSE to the goal. They're trying everything--even mediocre things--working themselves silly, and hoping to show you that they can win.

Why? 

You're neither the owner nor the coach. You're just a player, right?

It's okay. It's their issue--not yours. Keep playing. In spite of the drama, ask yourself these important questions:

"Is the check going to be the same?"
"Same rewards?"
"Same benefits?"

"Yes", you say?

Well then, by all means, keep playing...: )