The minute someone shares—with authority—what someone else said, did, thinks, believes, is, was, likes, knows, hates, will or won’t do, listeners have a choice to make. The information shared, though hard to un-hear, is easy to verify. If there are documents, receipts, transcripts, messages, etc., they’re easy to access. Sometimes, it’s as simple as asking somebody; going directly to sources, reading, researching, and making sure we’re not walking around with stories, judgments, and perceptions about others that are simply biased, ridiculous, or flat out false.
How often do we find ourselves taking people’s word as gospel because we assume they know what they’re talking about? We assume there’s some history, scholarship, or relationship that christens their words. We imagine that others know more than we do, or are expert on a subject. We ask ourselves, “ Why would they lie?” We conclude, “They ought to know”.
It doesn’t take long for information to spread. Once a tale is told, seeds are planted.
We then repeat what may be steeped in ignorance, error, deceit, malice, or arrogance, and it soon becomes habitual, and considered fact and truth. Every time the subject comes up, we parrot, post, or offer our two cents about what we heard, and further disseminate untruth.
Perhaps it sounds good, or makes us appear deep, smart, informed, or connected, but it contributes to the miseducation of those who hear, read, and embrace what we say. Those who check their brains at the door are doomed to forfeiting knowledge—and even relationships.
Even when we are eventually faced with evidence; even when we learn the truth, do we shun it, apologize, and regret entertaining gossip, and misinformation? Do we endeavor to educate ourselves, look deeper, listen more intently, employ discernment and wisdom, or do we hang on to what fit the narratives we preferred, what sounded good, what assuaged our guilt, promoted our agendas, and included some, or excluded others?
How long will you shun, talk about, throw shade at, ostracize, overlook, ignore, or unfairly judge people you don’t even know, based on what someone else said? The minute you say, “Well, I heard…”, you condemn yourself as lazy and part of the problem.
Never mind the people you don’t know—How long will you hold on to erroneous or negative attitudes about the people you DO know? You could just ask them! Why don’t you? They don’t know what you heard, nor why you’re being shady. A real waste of your energy is in the realization that they don’t care!
It’s never cool to find you’ve been gaslit or manipulated, but you don’t have to remain that way. What you think, may not be true at all— unless you just prefer to think the worst of others. If that’s the case, how’s that working for ya, particularly when you see someone always cozying up to, or in cahoots with the very person or people they’re always warning you to stay away from?
Time’s ticking. Clear the air— if you aren’t afraid or too stubborn to do so. While you’re walking around with unfounded ill will against people, and weighing yourself down by carrying the bones that were brought to you, those people are oblivious and sleeping well at night.
No one is going to chase you, or read your mind. Clear that mind of the stuff that’s been planted, (even if, out of hurt or anger, you planted and watered those weeds), and endeavor to know for yourself. Information is everywhere. Truth may hurt sometimes, (when it comes to the identities of the real problematic folk in your life), but it really is the light.
Your brain works. You can know, too— for sure— if you really want to—and especially if it’s any of your business.
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