CAREGIVER DIARIES: MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME?

You cannot, cannot, CANNOT say, "Make yourself at home" to everyone. 

You'd better know how they keep their OWN home first--AND how they REALLY feel about you. 

People who care,  wouldn't show up and mishandle what's yours, or overstep boundaries. They certainly wouldn't think that behaving like slobs was appropriate, funny, clever, or deserving.

Some people want what they THINK you have, and they have for a long time. They think they're deserving, and are so blinded by intense envy, that they don't even recognize the toll it's taking on their countenances, let alone their lives. 

How do blessed people not see how blessed they are, and instead live their lives coveting what others have, and seeking to destroy it?

Perhaps they were misinformed or misunderstood, and somehow think they're entitled to what's yours. You can spot them. They're arrogance is hard to miss. 

They come around and want to prove to you that they, too, are important, or have some perceived privilege, or special rights. Truth is, they wouldn't know what to do with what's yours, or how to treat it if they DID have it. They'd tear it up it in record time. 

If they show up, make snide remarks, inspect, micromanage, rummage, take, talk a good game, and roll out, you'll know. They don't want the RESPONSIBILITY that comes with access. They might have to actually CARE or open their pockets and purses. They might have to help or do some work. Lord knows, they don't want THAT.

 Oh. Lysol and Clorox (liquids and sprays) are your friends...but I digress.

Some people want you to be their audience while they brazenly disregard boundaries and treat-- like crap-- you, what they THINK is yours, or what is in your care. It's no fun for them when you choose NOT to give them the satisfaction of seeing you trying to maintain a pleasant environment. 

Sometimes, it's best for the caregiver not to be around when visitors descend. Some people are laboring under the misapprehension that the caregiver is "The Help" for them, too. Touch your neighbor and say, "The Devil IS a liar". When able-bodied people announce their impending arrival, that's the perfect time for a caregiver to plan a staycation; take a break; refresh him or herself. 

It forces visitors to assume the position. They'll either happily serve, be more careful, clean up behind themselves, behave responsibly, and respectfully toward the ailing or aged person's home and belongings, or they'll get tired of having to work, shorten their stays, or show up less and less.

When a person disrespects and misuses what belongs to Person A, HOW do they ever conclude that it hurts Person B? That's like going to a hotel, trashing the room, and thinking you're hurting the housekeeper! 

Sure. The housekeeper might be as annoyed as hell by your trifling ways, but the person who is being disregarded, and who will suffer a financial loss is the OWNER. 

The housekeeper can get extra help and resources to clean up what you messed up, there's a PAYCHECK with overtime included at the end of the housekeeper's day, and brand new stuff will be brought in and waiting for the next occupant of the room! 

Being nasty and inconsiderate only makes YOU look like a jerk. Furthermore, you should expect a surprise on your bill--and you may not be allowed to come back, or if you do, your access will be severely limited.

People who are always trying to get under other people's skin really do need a hobby...or Jesus. You have to know someone--have a relationship and history to know what bothers them. Maybe it used to, but never discount that they have learned new ways to deal and respond to foolishness.

Don't make yourself look bad trying to rattle someone else--particularly not in this technological world where your doings can be documented.