I read a post a while back, and I'm paraphrasing,
but it went something like this:
"I know the truth, so it's not what was said about me that bothers me the most.
It's that you believed it, acted on
it, and repeated it-- without question. You've proved that you don't know me at
all, and I shouldn't trust you."
When your character and best efforts are
continuously questioned, criticized, and maligned, if you're not careful and
confident in your own skin, you'll waste extraordinary amounts of time doubting
your own competence.
Sometimes you have to reevaluate whose approval you want
and need, and ask yourself why it matters. Perhaps it's merely the nature of a
relationship that causes someone to long for acceptance, or a pat on the back.
There comes a time, however, when you identify people whose views you need to
ignore--no matter who they are.
Instead of focusing on the affinity that should
exist, or fretting about why they don't feel a certain way, you need to look
deep and see whether you've lost your mind for favoring their views over your
own. Don't give away your self-worth to someone whose own insecurity, failure,
jealousy, regret, or fear makes it impossible for them to appreciate, support,
or respect anything you say or do.
The identities of the people who will railroad,
accuse, misrepresent, and malign you, may be shocking, but don't stay in shock.
They have to be able to say, "See! I told you so!", and garner support
for their cause, even if it means manufacturing information about you.
Whether
it's for selfish gain, to get consent, or a position, to maintain a shaky
relationship, rank, or standing, to push an agenda, or to hide their
indiscretions, criminality or guilt, their own skin is all that matters to
them.
How their words and deeds impact the lives of others, is of no
consequence. You do, however, have control over your responses to their words
and deeds.
If people can create an ounce of doubt about you in
the minds of others, they think they still have a foot in their doors. They
think they'll keep you separated from, or at odds with others. They think their
credibility and chances are still intact, and their plans to get rid of you
will go forward. They think they have control. What they have are sick minds,
jacked-up motives, and their apologies--if they ever offer them--are insincere
and weightless. Their apologies usually follow the hurt and bewilderment they
experienced after someone ( they held in high esteem ) treated them the same
way they treated you.
They'll stop soon, or BE stopped, and usually it
will be by their own hand.
The innocent have two choices: Become forever
fearful, paranoid, and defensive, or relax and let the truth fight for them.
It's just not a good idea to assume that someone else is weak, voiceless,
indefensible or afraid. People aren't going to allow themselves to be lied on
or misrepresented for long. Those who accuse,
and those who believe accusers, will eventually have to answer for themselves--especially
when they realize that you have no
aversion to the light.
I'm always amused by those who attempt to police
others; who sneak in and wreak havoc when they think the coast is clear, then
check back to see if their inconsideration, selfishness, and madness had its
desired results. Their arrogance and desperation causes them to think everyone
else is incapable of reasoning...or sight...or discernment. They really mess up
when they think the person, whose reputation they're trying to damage, is not
in the habit of keeping impeccable records--not only to cover themselves, but to
maintain the integrity of their workplace.
Those who are personally, or
professionally on the receiving end of the efforts of a diligent, competent,
and consistent person, are utter fools to allow or encourage insecure people to
be disruptive, divisive, and messy. To do so, and then wonder why there's
chaos, or why people don't stay, is sheer insanity.
Don't ever get confused, or become a poor judge of
character, and find yourself surrounded by, and stuck with incompetent
troublemakers who are more interested in what you have, and what they can get,
than they are in your well-being.
People who thrive in confusion will always
mess up a good thing; mistreat good people, and then wonder where it, and they
went.
Don't be deceived. Good people don't just up and leave. There's a reason.
Something preceded the decision. Too often the focus is on the departure, and
not the untenable actions that prompted and necessitated it.
Some people create problems for others, and fracture
relationships under the guise of being helpful.
On the other hand, there are
those who are not merely nosy or sympathetic, but they are understanding, and
that understanding--and experience-- motivates them to help in ways that count.
They solve problems, employ wisdom, are fair, knowledgeable, and build
beneficial alliances. Appreciate the heck out of them.
Don't be discouraged. Don't allow others to
negatively affect the manner in which you work, or your willingness to help
when and where you can. Continue to do a good job regardless of the opposition.
Keep YOUR eyes open. You'd be surprised who's sowing seeds of discord and
trying to do you in, or have you replaced. Note I didn't say replace YOU. Funny
thing is, some people who oppose you the most don't even want the job. What
they want are the benefits, attention, inside information, or and praise they
think you're receiving. They have no idea what's really on your plate, or what
sacrifice is involved. If they DID, they'd stop being jerks and lend a
constructive hand.
I can't say it enough. On the job—ANY job--document,
document, document. Sometimes your word isn't enough--even for people who
should know better. Document. Be great at it, not obsessive, but thorough.
You'll know when things are out of order, or have been tampered with. You'll
have dates, times, and places, and in our technological world, you'll have
video and audio. You'll have the truth AND facts. Your trustworthiness may be
in question, but you'll know better, those who matter will know better, and
you'll have proof for those who, unfortunately, don't.
#noweapon
#documentdocumentdocument
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