'Be anxious for nothing..." ~Philippians 4:6

Tuesday, May 30, 2017


I read a post a while back, and I'm paraphrasing, but it went something like this: 
"I know the truth, so it's not what was said about me that bothers me the most. It's that you believed it, acted on it, and repeated it-- without question. You've proved that you don't know me at all, and I shouldn't trust you."
When your character and best efforts are continuously questioned, criticized, and maligned, if you're not careful and confident in your own skin, you'll waste extraordinary amounts of time doubting your own competence. Sometimes you have to reevaluate whose approval you want and need, and ask yourself why it matters. Perhaps it's merely the nature of a relationship that causes someone to long for acceptance or a pat on the back. There comes a time, however, when you identify people whose views you need to ignore--no matter who they are. Instead of focusing on the affinity that should exist, or fretting about why they don't feel a certain way, you need to look deep and see whether you've lost your mind for favoring their views over your own. Don't give away your self-worth to someone whose own insecurity, failure, jealousy, regret, or fear makes it impossible for them to appreciate, support, or respect anything you say or do.

The identities of the people who will railroad, accuse, misrepresent, and malign you may be shocking, but don't stay in shock. They have to be able to say, "See! I told you so!" and garner support for their cause even if it means manufacturing information about you. Whether it's for selfish gain, to get consent or a position, to maintain a shaky relationship, rank, or standing, to push an agenda, or to hide their indiscretions, criminality or guilt, their own skin is all that matters to them. How their words and deeds impact the lives of others is of no consequence. You do, however, have control over your responses to their words and deeds.

If people can create an ounce of doubt about you in the minds of others, they think they still have a foot in their doors. They think they'll keep you separated from, or at odds with others. They think their credibility and chances are still intact, and their plans to get rid of you will go forward. They think they have control. What they have are sick minds, jacked-up motives, and their apologies--if they ever offer them--are insincere and weightless. Their apologies usually follow the hurt and bewilderment they experienced after someone ( they held in high esteem ) treated them the same way they treated you.

They'll stop soon, or BE stopped, and usually it will be by their own hand.

The innocent have two choices: Become forever fearful, paranoid, and defensive, or relax and let the truth fight for them. It's just not a good idea to assume that someone else is weak, voiceless, indefensible or afraid. People aren't going to allow themselves to be lied on or misrepresented for long. Those who accuse, and those who believe accusers, will eventually have to answer for themselves--especially when they realize that you have no aversion to the light.

I'm always amused by those who attempt to police others; who sneak in and wreak havoc when they think the coast is clear, then check back to see if their inconsideration, selfishness, and madness had its desired results. Their arrogance and desperation causes them to think everyone else is incapable of reasoning...or sight...or discernment. They really mess up when they think the person, whose reputation they're trying to damage, is not in the habit of keeping impeccable records--not only to cover themselves, but to maintain the integrity of their workplace. Those who are personally or professionally on the receiving end of the efforts of a diligent, competent, and consistent person, are utter fools to allow or encourage insecure people to be disruptive, divisive, and messy. To do so, and then wonder why there's chaos, or why people don't stay, is sheer insanity.

Don't ever get confused, or become a poor judge of character and find yourself surrounded by, and stuck with incompetent troublemakers who are more interested in what you have and what they can get, than they are in your well-being. People who thrive in confusion will always mess up a good thing; mistreat good people, and then wonder where it, and they went. Don't be deceived. Good people don't just up and leave. There's a reason. Something preceded the decision. Too often the focus is on the departure and not the untenable actions that prompted and necessitated it.

Some people create problems for others and fracture relationships under the guise of being helpful. On the other hand, there are those who are not merely nosy or sympathetic, but they are understanding, and that understanding--and experience-- motivates them to help in ways that count. They solve problems, employ wisdom, are fair, knowledgeable, and build beneficial alliances. Appreciate the heck out of them.

Don't be discouraged. Don't allow others to negatively affect the manner in which you work, or your willingness to help when and where you can. Continue to do a good job regardless of the opposition. Keep YOUR eyes open. You'd be surprised who's sowing seeds of discord and trying to do you in, or have you replaced. Note I didn't say replace YOU. Funny thing is, some people who oppose you the most don't even want the job. What they want are the benefits, attention, inside information, or and praise they think you're receiving. They have no idea what's really on your plate, or what sacrifice is involved. If they DID, they'd stop being jerks and lend a constructive hand. 

I can't say it enough. On the job—ANY job--document, document, document. Sometimes your word isn't enough--even for people who should know better. Document. Be great at it, not obsessive, but thorough. You'll know when things are out of order, or have been tampered with. You'll have dates, times, and places, and in our technological world, you'll have video and audio. You'll have the truth AND facts. Your trustworthiness may be in question, but you'll know better, those who matter will know better, and you'll have proof for those who, unfortunately, don't. 

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