'Be anxious for nothing..." ~Philippians 4:6

Monday, October 10, 2016


My hero of the week is the mild-mannered, undecided voter, Carl Becker. The way his question at the end of the debate brought the two presidential candidates back to some semblance of adulthood was priceless. He was calm, but direct. He challenged two glasshouse dwellers to stop being childish. Mr. Becker's confrontation wasn't condescending or antagonistic. It was mature, thoughtful, steady, and humbling. 
Sometimes people are so busy defending their rightness, and fighting for their position that they've dulled and even shut off their hearing. They've made themselves laughable and pitiable. After Mr. Becker's rather unorthodox question about civility and respect, we all saw that the two candidates can listen. They can dismount their high horses and behave themselves. They can be brought down a peg. They can take a look at themselves and evaluate whether what they've been serving everyone is productive or destructive to themselves and their causes.

I used to think that confrontation was awful. Dealing with argumentative people is exhausting.
I now know that confrontation is only truly awful for the arrogant bully who doesn't have truth on his or her side. 
Ever encounter someone who's always charging at people; attacking, accusing and sniping at everyone? They do it because they think others should be afraid of them. They do it because they've decided they're right and everyone else is wrong. They do it because no one has probably ever checked or corrected them. They're probably used to everyone humoring them and excusing their behavior.
I've found that bullies can't take what they dish out, and are awfully offended when they get owned by someone they think is weaker that they are. Want to shut down a bully? Stand there and confront. Look closely. You'll see that volume has been masquerading as power. Sometimes, because of who people are, we neglect to, or are hesitant to confront. We've been taught that it's disrespectful. That's the biggest lie ever.
Abrasive people will stop the habit of misidentifying strong people when they get their faces cracked enough. Sometimes people need to be shown themselves by the very people in whom they think they inspire fear.
Just because someone tends to be quiet and easy-going doesn't mean they don't have the capacity to reduce you to a blubbering heap--or a civil one.

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