CAREGIVER DIARIES: GENUINE HELP

Yesterday was a long, sweltering, but lovely day. 

I witnessed the outpouring of love and respect to someone who had spent his life in unselfish, relentless service to others. 

Yesterday, I saw a family united and strong. It was so moving and beautiful. Their gratitude to everyone who participated in the celebration of their loved one was sincere and genuine. 
People don't have to be kind. When they are, the impact is tangible.

The text I just read made me smile. 

It's nice when people wake up with you on their minds. 

Four days in a row, someone has reached out to either ask, "What can I do?", or they just decided they would give, or lend a hand.

 
Today's text read, "Don't worry about lunch. I've got it". 

Then they even bothered to ask if what they'd thought of was appropriate. 

It's funny. Some people boast of what they've done, but it hasn't been in the interest of my Dad nor me. If one is going to do something supposedly for someone, shouldn't it be something they at least like, can handle, need, want, or will appreciate?


I read James 1:2-3. 

"You want what you don’t have, so you kill to get it. 

You long for what others have, and can’t afford it, so you start a fight to take it away from them. And yet the reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it. And even when you do ask you don’t get it, because your whole aim is wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure."

That's a stinging indictment, but it's true, and I've experienced it. There are those who have made caregiving difficult because they want something from my Dad; they think they're entitled to what my parents worked for. They see and know what specific needs are, but would rather sit back and hope we're suffering. They've even advised him against obtaining things that would be of great help to him. 

It would mean ease for me, I suppose.

 
There are those who resent my sisters and me and still see us as children--insignificant and incidental, and without voices. 

They think they're entitled, too. 

I wonder what erroneous information fuels them. They've clearly forgotten that God is their source, too. 

I realize that I've mistakenly magnified their power and influence. 

If they could drive a wedge between my Dad and his children, they would. It's their trying that is such a nuisance. 

However, they've tried and failed. That should be the operative truth in my mind.

Today, my charge to myself is to give attention to those who are truly making my days a little lighter and brighter; 

to be kinder to myself, and ask when I need help. 

I charge myself to celebrate those who are genuinely helping, and to celebrate every now and then myself.

I admit, I'm a little tired this morning although I got a good night's sleep. 
Thank God for human angels, though. 

I'm really looking forward to lunch...: )