MONDAY THOUGHTS: INVITATION

I understand networking. 

I'm a homebody, but not antisocial, and I'm not exactly a schmoozer.

I received an invitation from a longtime friend to attend an event at which another longtime friend was scheduled to perform. 

I replied to my friend that I would attend. 

The rather rude reply I got back from a stranger, was that my reply was received, but I would not be allowed to attend unless I paid a substantial fee. 

So...

I googled the definition of the word "invitation". 

INVITATION--the act of inviting; the written or spoken form with which a person is invited; something offered as a suggestion; an invitation to consider a business merger; attraction or incentive; allurement; a provocation.

I concluded that my friend was the "attraction" to secure my presence, not that my presence was necessary. 

My friend was the provocation to get me to open my wallet. 

Do I think my friend was worth the fee? Sure--that is if any percentage of the fee would have ended up in my friend's pocket. 

Did I like the way the whole "invitation" thing was handled? Nope.

Did I miss anything? Maybe. 

Is my money still in my pocket? Yep.

I laughed, and figured I've had enough priceless conversations and interactions with my friends (and will enjoy more) that didn't involve strangers and their agendas-- or entrance fees, or tickets, or membership in an organization of which I have no interest. 

Paying to play in environments where politics rule and reign (and shouldn't) is not appealing to me.

There's something about being over 50 years of age. Stuff that used to move you, just doesn't anymore. You just don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone--particularly people who don't matter. 

The guilt trips that others sponsor, are met with a yawn, when your relationships are secure. 

The strength and stability of your relationships are determined by you and your friends and loved ones, and no one else. 

No matter how important you or your organization think you are, don't ever presume that anything you can do, can negatively impact real friendships. 

 #myfriendsaretruenotbought 

 #Ihateclicks  

#screwyourpolitics

MONDAY THOUGHTS: OSCARS, SO...

I watched comedian Chris Rock's monologue. I had no doubt he would be funny, but alas, someone is still going to refer to him as a "coon". 

I say, get that check. 

Feed your family. 

Use it to produce an Oscar-worthy period piece set at the height of Reconstruction.

I'm still thinking about the "When your grandmother's swinging from a tree, it's really hard to care about best documentary/foreign short" line. 

Yes. At times, there really are more pressing, less superficial issues that demand undivided attention, and swift action. 

After his necessary, funny, indicting, serious, and often discomforting words, I switched back to the Downton Abbey marathon on PBS. 

I wasn't totally abandoning the Oscars. I like movies. I wanted to see Leonardo DiCaprio win. It was about time.
But I was conflicted. I like Downton Abbey. It's well done; well written; beautifully photographed. Sure. There was the Black jazz band featured in Season 4. That was a nice surprise. It was good to see Gary Carr at Downton. It's just a fact. Black people were so long excluded from mainstream media, that even now, when viewers see Black actors and actresses, something is triggered on the inside. 

No. really. It means something for us to see ourselves. It's an indicator that someone made it. But make no mistake, Black people have been creative forces for a very long time. We just have to be better about; more consistent about studying, applauding, and supporting the excellence created in the past, present, and future. From Oscar Devereaux Micheaux, to Shelton Jackson "Spike" Lee, Black people have been steadily producing worthy Art. The question is, “Have we seen it?”

Seeing ourselves means something. 

As I was eating breakfast this morning, "Bewitched" was on TV. 

When a well-dressed Black family walked into the Steven's home, I immediately perked up. It's 2016. The episode was from 1970. Back then, there would have been screaming in the house: "Hurry up! Black people on TV!!!" 

It's pride, and that pride bubbles over especially when the performance is exceptional. It's proof that we can; we're competent. It's proof that we should be included more, and we've been fighting to be included for a long, long time. Should we, though? 

Do we need to revisit Reconstruction? 

When did we fall into the inferiority, insecurity pile again? 

Is it really necessary that someone else--some other group--thinks Black people are good enough? 

Do we not trust our own discernment? 

Are we still walking around with the words of our parents swirling in our heads? 

"You have to work twice as hard. 

You have to be twice as good. Don't embarrass us."

I wondered, "Why IS the 2016 Oscars so white, when the president of the Academy is an African American woman?" 

There are sooooo many films being made every year, that will never be seen by the masses. Thanks to cable, and IMDB, I'm always discovering one film or another, that was phenomenal, but wasn't nominated for, or rewarded with an award. Does that make them worthless or insignificant? Of course not.

It's TV, but there's some powerful acting going on in a show called "The Haves and The Have Nots". That entire cast should be on the big screen. Who decides what's good and noteworthy? 

I turn on the television, and sometimes, I cringe at the way African Americans are represented. If I'm turned off, why wouldn't someone else be? 

We have to face it. Some things passing themselves off as Art and entertainment are abysmal. No. Nothing, no matter who made it or starred in it should be applauded simply to fill some quota, or answer a complaint. If I hear one more loud, tacky ratchet woman calling another woman ratchet, I don't know what I'm going to do.

We have been so conditioned to embrace our unrelated, fictive kin, that when the play cousins we see in the media fall short, we all feel it...collectively...nationwide. 

That's why the response to the Oscars was so deep. 

"What? You mean nobody Black did anything worthwhile this year?" 

We feel everything as a community. Every win and every slight. 

When a crime is committed, we secretly hope the perpetrator isn't Black because we know we're all going to be blamed for what our “play cousin” has done. 

If you don't understand what a Black man in the White House means to Black people, particularly those raised in the deep South; who know oppression intimately, you never will. 

That segment of the Black community is not the least bit surprised by #OscarsSoWhite. They're wondering why so many are so surprised, and up in arms. They figure that we should all know by now how the game is played, and that the rules and playing field are always subject to change.

Is the manner in which we are perceived our own fault? 

Is there some grand conspiracy going on? 

Have we stopped putting our best foot forward? 

Have we sabotaged, ignored, or failed to rally behind, and financially support those who ARE/have been producing empowering images and outstanding Art? 

Are we still bootlegging? 

Have we lowered standards? 

Sacrificed excellence? Settled for, and applauded mediocrity? 

Have we consistently turned a blind eye to ignorance and crap? 

Have we communicated that crap is what we want and like? 

Is that why there's so much of it?  

Who’s making the choices and decisions?

Have actors and actresses been a part of the problem by accepting demeaning roles, or are they just trying to get paid so they can feed their families? 

Have we accepted, emulated, and exalted woefully talent-less, banal, crass representatives? 

When we DO have our own platforms, do we become as political, divisive, insecure, arrogant, and exclusive as we accuse others of being? 

Is it OUR fault that #OscarsSoWhite ? 

How do we handle business? 

Do we mentor others? 

How do we treat our artists and image makers? 

Do we cheat, dog, tear down, and compete? 

Do WE even want to be bothered with us, and the stuff we create? 

IS it good enough for consideration? 

When we go to the theater, do we see the choices we have and turn up our noses, too? 

I tuned in again to the Oscars. Though the nominees were overwhelmingly White, the program as a whole was quite diverse--purposely. (The Girl Scout Cookies sale, was rich. 

No pun intended, although the exchange between VP Biden and Chris Rock looked eerily like a patron tipping a valet).

Morgan Freeman should have gotten an award just for talking. 

I had to laugh as Public Enemy's "Fight the Power" played as the end credits rolled. 

I wonder whose idea that was.

*Sigh*

"We shall overcome, someday", the need to keep proving ourselves, and the pain of being excluded after all we have contributed. 

We're still singing our songs in a strange land. 

The presidential campaigns have exposed the hatred, fear, ignorance, and racism that we knew was still there. 

Maybe one day, we'll stop underestimating ourselves, and desperately seeking validation in places and the hearts of people where we aren't appreciated, respected, or wanted--and that's not just at the Academy Awards. 

If we don't know by now how strong, resilient, industrious, valuable, competent, and worthy we are, we never will.

TUESDAY (CLOSING) THOUGHTS

I love documentaries.

They let us know that somebody knows, and has always known the truth, and the information was always there--perhaps it just wasn't safe to tell it.

I appreciate every teacher I ever had who realized how woefully incomplete our textbooks were, demanded that we read/research, and encouraged us to find the good. 

It's important to see yourself in history; to see positive, empowering images and learn of those who made contributions to society, great and small. 

It's so important to know the truth--no matter who's telling it. 

"Divide and conquer" can last only as long as people choose to remain stubborn, fearful, ignorant and selfish. 

#lovewins

#informationiskey

#historymatters

YOU NEVER KNOW

You'd like to THINK you know what you would do in any given situation. That confidence fuels your criticism, name-calling, and fun-making.

Someone has a bad day and we pounce on them like hyenas. It's a bit arrogant, unkind, and presumptuous. It's easy to take cheap shots at people, ignore their humanity, or declare what they should or shouldn't have done. 

We're good at declaring, "If it was me...., but you really don't know. No one knows.
I don't know...okay...except in the case of Beyonce's split-second change in the choreography. I know I wouldn't have done what she did. I wouldn't have helicoptered my arms, jumped up from that thigh-straining, low squat, and continued dancing. There would have been no "almost" in my story. I would have had a full-out, great, Humpty Dumpty splatter-all-over-the-stage fall. I would have suffered contusions, swelling, sprains, breaks, lost a heel, tripped two of the dancers, rolled off of the stage, and landed face down in the grass somewhere near the 50-yard line. Lord only knows where the wig would have been. 
Today, there would be Bengay, rubbing alcohol, Tylenol, crutches and tears. This I know. 
#goodsave  
#everybodyaintable  
#shedidthat

SUNDAY THOUGHTS: KEEP WORKING

Sabotage---the deliberate, 

sneaky, undermining, destruction, disruption, or damage of equipment, a public service, project, assignment, relationship, finished work, etc.,by dissatisfied, suspicious, insecure, overbearing, guilt-ridden, or jealous individuals; 

Sabotage—the M.O. of an enemy, or take-over spirit;

 

Sabotage—the method by which competent individuals are to be rendered or deemed dishonest, dispensable, unavailable, disinterested, or ineffective. 

Some sabotage is deliberate. 

Other times, it's a matter of an insecure person's survival. They stab, but don't think about how their actions will snowball, cause dissension, and even hurt themselves.

Keep working. 

Don't allow anyone's insecurity, or fear of losing their foothold on a situation  negatively impact your disposition, or work ethic. 

A know-it-all cannot stand to see competence displayed by those to whom he or she feels superior, and will always attempt to instill suspicion or doubt concerning the actions, decisions, and methods of others. 

Don't allow anyone's issues to undo the good work you've done, destroy the harmony you have established, or slow your momentum. 

Although you may be surprised or disappointed, when it's revealed exactly who is not the least bit happy that you got the job, that your situation has improved, and is running smoothly, or that you have made progress, don't let that revelation stun you into discouragement, or inactivity. 

Knowing who, or what you are dealing with; who is, and is not in your corner; and who is, and is not accurately representing, speaking well of, or cheering you, is really a good thing. 

The best retaliation or revenge is the continuation of excellent work ethic, productivity, and a work environment that thrives. 

There are more people for you than against you. 

Draw strength from those who support you. 

Don't waste time on those who are hoping you will fail. 

Keep working.

If your employer publicly declares that they're contemplating some plan to show their appreciation to you for what you have done, pay attention to the person who objects, pouts, asks "Why?", or seeks to discourage the thoughtful gesture. 

Some people cannot bear that you are committed, consistent, and qualified any more than they can bear that you may be rewarded or acknowledged for your commitment, consistency, and qualifications.

Sowing seeds of discord is the only way many people can succeed or maintain their positions. 

They may come from a long way--even to their own detriment, and at their own expense--to do it. 

Others may have confidence in you, particularly if you've been on the job for a long time. The saboteur does not. 

In the face of obvious productivity, they have to see what's going on, minimize it, and tear it apart. They turn up their noses at order, cleanliness, and efficiency. They interrogate. Do inventory. They have no intentions of offering genuine help or encouragement. They don't stick around long enough to make any positive impact and drain resources, but they seek credit, attention, and want to be considered as a savior for the brief time they are on the scene. They look for inconsistencies and missteps, and are frustrated when they can find none.

Give the saboteur no power. Theirs is a position of weakness. They don't really want the job, are not capable of doing it, don't want anyone else to have it, but want and need to be in control, and in the spotlight. You have nothing to fear from them. 

Keep working. 

Don't get mad or frustrated. Don't begin to doubt yourself. 

Don't look back. 

Don't ever fall for being pitted against anyone. 

Be confident in your abilities. 

Making a saboteur aware that you see them is your best bet--so is the art of documentation. Just stay committed to excellence. Believe it or not, the saboteur, and their obvious anxiety, is probably the best indicator that you're doing a good job.

They wouldn't be so busy trying to exclude, erase, or demean you, if you weren't.

Remember the principal thing. 

Remember why you are in place. 

You have sufficient experience, knowledge and skill. You are consistent and trustworthy. 

Take a deep breath, and stay committed to the work in spite of the interference, impure motives, messiness, and meddling of others. They can play innocent, but your discernment, and their own insecurity-driven actions and words will always expose them. 

Keep working. 

WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS: SNOW DAYS

It was such a pleasure to meet Valerie Simpson last Wednesday. She was so hospitable, kind and gracious to us.

I'll never forget the concert she hosted at Long Island University.

My Vision sisters, Angie and Renee dropped me off at home, when we returned from our bus trip to New York. 

It was 5 AM last Thursday morning. 

I was so busy trying to hang on to the beautiful flowers Ms. Simpson had placed in our dressing room, as I headed to the front porch, that I forgot just how deep the snow was. 

I put one foot down and my leg sank, I fell and was having one of those "I've fallen and I can't get up" experiences. 

There was no putting my hands down to brace myself. They just plunged into the crunchy snow, too. 

I was laughing so hard, that I didn't realize Angie had gotten out of her car, and came running to my aid. We were both laughing. She grabbed my rolling bag,  and the bag that held the flowers. 

I'm still not sure how I got up, but I told myself that I would be shoveling the walk to the front porch as soon as I woke up.

It was a little after 9 when I got up, and bundled up to go outside. I looked like a troll. 

I went to the garage, got the big shovel, and started chopping at the snow, so it would be easier to move. As I was tossing the snow, I laughed to myself. "Hmm. Last night you were eating smoked salmon and caviar; lump crab and cucumber, drinking Merlot, and singing with Valerie Simpson--and you don't even drink. You don't shovel snow either, but you're out here. Hmmm. Maybe you're drunk. Maybe it was a dream..lol". 

I just didn't want anyone else to fall, so I kept chopping, scooping and tossing, but felt like I wasn't making any progress. I'd cleared about two feet of the walkway, when I heard my dad's voice. 

"John or Mark are gonna come. I don't need you outside doing that! That's too much!" 

God knows I don't need to get sick, or throw my back out. 

It took me no time to comply, head back to the garage and go inside, but I really wanted to clear the porch and steps if nothing else, so I did. 

 I'm convinced. Snow removal is for the young...and machines....and the Sun. 

I guess my glee from the night before gave me a second wind, and made me feel like I could move a mountain of snow. 

I'm still smiling--and leaving the shovel in the garage.

It was much more fun to rearrange the flowers.

MESSAGE IN THE MUSIC: THOUGHTS of FLINT

I think of the abominable water crisis in Flint, Michigan, and am, once again, saddened by the callousness and thoughtlessness of those who, once elected to office, forget the tenets of true service. 

All it takes is an hour of C-span to see that many leaders care less about people and more about lining their own pockets. 

What is infuriating is the manner in which the negligence, and deliberate actions of some is minimized, excused, rationalized, swept under the rug, and not exposed for it's blatant criminality.

Decisions are made every day that demonstrate how little human life is regarded; how easily we can forget, dismiss, or disregard what we don't have to see. 

How much money is now being spent because someone thought saving money eclipsed the health and safety of the residents of the town? 

On what was the saved money going to be spent that was more important than the community? 

Greed, prejudice, racism, mis-education, arrogance, and ignorance cause people to so shamelessly disregard the value of another person's life. Why do we ever think that dreadful--even deadly situations should be acceptable to, and good enough for others but not for ourselves? Who deserves and is more worthy of good health, health care, clean air and potable drinking water?

Every time there's another update that informs us of just how deliberate and preventable the situation was in Flint, I think of a commercial; a public service announcement that used to air back in the mid or late 70's. Sometimes it would air late at night. Surely someone has a copy of it somewhere. I keep expecting it to show up on Youtube, especially in this "Throwback Thursday", "Flashback Friday", "Open Season", "Fishing in the Sea of Forgetfulness" information age. Someone has the cassette tape, 8-track, or reel in a box somewhere and I hope it's found. It is eerily timely, and more proof that there's nothing new under the Sun--just different players.
Why I still remember the song sung in the commercial is a mystery. The tune was catchy; even likable. You almost wanted to sway and sing along. The male singer had a beautiful, soulful voice. Before you knew it, you were singing along. Then it hit you. This was no new R&B hit record. This wasn't supposed to be your jam. You weren't supposed to scream and swoon as soon as you heard the opening line. The singer was emoting agony and helplessness. The song was slyly educating viewers and listeners. The song drew you in, then schooled you; opened your eyes. The misery of the ending made you look up and around at the condition of your own surroundings. It made you wonder who was being sold and rented veritable death traps in which to live and raise their families, but never told of the danger. 

Who discovered the toxicity? Who had the information and immediately began making changes? Who needed it most? Perhaps some anxious producer thought, "They'll listen if we put it to music". 
Lead poisoning was a serious problem in many homes and businesses. The song was a clarion call to those who were impacted the greatest, but informed the least. 
The lyrics were:

"Paint chips peeling
From the ceiling
By my baby's bed
Eating paint and plaster
I took him to the doctor
Convulsions
Lead poison
Ghetto malaria
Why!? Lord,why!?
Landlord lazy
And I'm half crazy
'Cause my baby's dead.
My baby's dead."