When the bill came in the mail yesterday, I opened it and wondered if I had accidentally been given a bill that belonged to someone else. Nope. There was my name, and there was my number--and some other numbers whose grouping wasn't appealing at all.
"OV" doesn't stand for "Our Vanessa". It stands for "overages". Since when have I had overages? I looked at my cell phone as if it was some kind of alien monster that had turned on me. It looked back at me and said, "What?"
$219.35 that's what. Maybe that's not a lot compared to other people's bills, but $105.00 has generally been tops for me, unless I contributed to a charity via text message or something. Two hundred-nineteen dollars and thirty-five cotton-picking cents. SMH.
I looked again. Yep. It's still there. It's not a joke or a figment of my imagination. What happened to the $69.99 the salesman quoted in May, after he laughed at my ancient cell phone and informed me it was past time for an upgrade?
With my ancient cell phone, (which, by the way is only worth $5.00 now ) my bill was never $219.35 no matter who I talked to or where they were!
With the premium data add-on charge, it should read no more than $79.99 + tax and those lovely charges. What happened to THAT? And what in the blue blazes is a "District of Columbia State- telecom Service Tax"? ( Funny how DC suddenly becomes a state when it's convenient. )
I can imagine the conversation held in the ivory tower of my cell phone provider's headquarters: "She's been accustomed to an unlimited plan and consistent bill all these years. I think she can pay us more. Let's tell her we can save her some money--a lot of money-- but conveniently leave out that, after talking an average of 8 days, she should either resort to text messages only, or turn the phone off and put it back in the box for the rest of the month. If she must communicate, perhaps she can invest in a homing pigeon, two cans and a string, use snail mail, telegrams, or dust off her home phone."
Good grief. The sooner I pay this bill, the sooner I can recover from the shock and just go back to an unlimited plan. "Anytime" clearly doesn't mean any time.
I can imagine the conversation held in the ivory tower of my cell phone provider's headquarters: "She's been accustomed to an unlimited plan and consistent bill all these years. I think she can pay us more. Let's tell her we can save her some money--a lot of money-- but conveniently leave out that, after talking an average of 8 days, she should either resort to text messages only, or turn the phone off and put it back in the box for the rest of the month. If she must communicate, perhaps she can invest in a homing pigeon, two cans and a string, use snail mail, telegrams, or dust off her home phone."
Good grief. The sooner I pay this bill, the sooner I can recover from the shock and just go back to an unlimited plan. "Anytime" clearly doesn't mean any time.
I have not been paying attention. They got me. Good one.
For now, the iphone is going dark during the day, unless I need to snap a photo of a cicada or something.
For now, the iphone is going dark during the day, unless I need to snap a photo of a cicada or something.
I'm going to conduct a bit of an experiment titled, "What Will It Take For My Bill To Go Back To Hovering Near $79.99".
In the meantime, while the sun is shining. it's going to be, "Hello, there nice Home Phone, ol' buddy, ol' pal".
In the meantime, while the sun is shining. it's going to be, "Hello, there nice Home Phone, ol' buddy, ol' pal".
If my home phone could talk, it would have a rather bitter tone and sarcastic attitude. "Oh, so I'm good enough for you to use now, huh? I mean more to you than access to the front door and gate now, I see. Um hmm. I knew you'd be back."
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