SUNDAY THOUGHTS: UNETHICAL LEADERSHIP

“Here is the true meaning and value of compassion and nonviolence: when it helps us to see the enemy’s point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For, from his view, we may indeed see the basic weaknesses of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition.” 

~The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.


I had to stop watching C-Span. 

I felt myself getting angry, as one representative after another, pleaded for the continued health of American citizens, and their access to affordable care, while others seemed to gloat and grin; energized in their anxiousness to dismantle The Affordable Care Act. 

Their smug faces reflected glee at the thought of wreaking havoc in the lives of millions, while they and their families enjoy security, and excellent health care packages themselves.

 
I was convinced, as I watched, that there are leaders who are serving in Congress who are not there to serve citizens. Their eyes and ears are closed. They aren't interested in facts or truth. They don't want to learn. They don't want to find common ground. Their hearts are hard. 

There were grossly conflicting statistics, and conflicting testimonials. Citizens were testifying on one hand that their lives had been literally saved, their suffering ended or abated, while affluent others were complaining about the cost of having a safety net (they already have, or could afford) should their own health fail. 

Any time leaders find ethics problematic, there is a serious problem, and a sign of impending or existing shenanigans. 
Leaders are getting their marching orders from somewhere, but it is obviously not from the ordinary citizens who sent them to Washington (many of whom have been so accustomed to hearing the hatefully spoken nickname "Obamacare" that they didn't even realize how much they and their own families had benefited from The Affordable Care Act). 

As I watched, it seemed that leaders are motivated by an evil, selfish, voice that has hindered their capacity to understand reason or be compassionate. 

There is greed, hatred, fear, selfishness, entitlement, and a lack of empathy.  

There seems to be one clear motivation for some--and it was publicly spoken. 

The President's failure was a top goal no matter what the consequences of their inaction and obstruction did to the country. Now, they're talking about making America great again, as if their own actions, and the actions of previous leaders didn't contribute to it's lousiness.

I knew there had to be a name for what I was seeing. According to E. Samuel Winer, "Defensive processes" may be defined as an underlying series of mental operations, occurring primarily outside of a person’s awareness, that result in either an experience being recorded in memory in such a way that it is remembered as being more pleasant or less threatening than it actually was, or threatening experiences becoming inaccessible to future conscious recall". 

In other words, people don't know they're flat out lying, can't remember when they do lie, and can't remember the chaos caused by their own words and actions.

Some people deliberately lie to further a cause, and expect you to believe them. When you don't, and confront them with the truth, they get angry or defensive. They might even demonize you. 

Some people feel better believing a lie, and supporting a liar because the truth is too painful. It challenges or indicts their thoughts and actions. They too, in defense of the lie get angry and defensive. 

If we believe that the truth is the light and makes us free, why would we staunchly defend a liar, embrace lies, or want a liar for a leader? Why justify delusion, and in the process, make ourselves appear to be happily idiotic, foolish, callous or ignorant?

 
I hated to conclude, as I changed the channel, that many of the congressmen and women of the United States are bought. Someone has to have tied their hands; threatened, brainwashed, or blackmailed them. They can't possibly believe what they do and say is righteous or justified. They can't possibly be thinking for themselves. They can't possibly say that they care for America while simultaneously causing suffering for Americans. They can't possibly be so heartless. Many are puppets who boldly stand in the public square spouting the rhetoric of whatever evil force is motivating, enriching, and mentoring them.

 
At the end of the day, when they're alone with what's left of their consciences beating the hell out of them, I think they go home and cry.

 

In public they speak

Their souls for sale

But look into their eyes

Therein is Good that hates the lies

I think they go home and cry

In rolled the greed-filled tide

That swept them up;

Poisoned their minds

Unable to put their pride aside

I think they went home and cried

There’s no hiding

True thoughts; pure angst

Their faces do betray

Every word they say is scrutinized

I think they go home and cry

How does fear do its damning thing?

How does it convince the mind

To stand for wrong, and punish right?

I think they go home and cry

To see the error of one’s way

Yet plow forward; surmise

That hurting lives at whim is wise

I think they go home and cry

When the deals are done

They win, but you lose

Quickly they forget

They once needed you

They flash their strained smiles

Knowing all the while

Some choice they have made

Will upset and rile

They get into their cars

Struggle with each breath

Guilt and shame impede

Sorrow overwhelms

They get to their doors

Scarcely get inside

Drop their things and scream

Close their eyes and cry

What’s done to others will transfer

And grief be multiplied

And callous acts in mirrors shine

Wealth won't heal or immortalize Tears will try to materialize

They will--at death--apologize

And none will mourn

Though some will sigh

But NONE will go home and cry

VRW ©2017

FRIDAY THOUGHTS: TO PERFORM, OR NOT TO PERFORM

For many entertainers, live performances are often their bread and butter. 

Live performances provide exposure, too. 

Have we invited them to entertain at our organization's events lately?  

We play CD's. 

We copy CD's. 

We watch YouTube videos. 

We don't go to concerts, and when we do, we want comp tickets. 

We don't buy music like we used to. 

How do entertainers make a living?

We get mad when people perform in what we consider unorthodox places. 

We lose it when genres mix. 

But do we ever consider how our favorites support themselves?

Are they okay, or one paycheck away from bankruptcy? 

Do we begrudge people opportunities to enrich themselves to make ourselves feel better about them? 

Do we expect our favorites to share our political views, in addition to providing good music?

Many don't consider what singers and musicians do as a profession. (They have bills to pay, too.) 

When there's a potentially big payday, do politics matter? 

Is it a matter of loyalty, integrity, conscience, principles, or values? 

Is it possible to go and sing and it not be tantamount to "singing, dancing and picking the cotton"?

Is every person who goes to work on inauguration day, a supporter of the incoming administration, or will they just be doing their jobs? Have police officers, drivers, restaurateurs, hotel employees, stage crews, construction workers, parking attendants, etc. been declaring that they will not show up at work that day because they don't want their efforts to be misconstrued as solidarity with the President-elect?

We're awfully hard on entertainers--who may have financial choices to make. 

Entertainers who have been invited to perform at the inauguration are in an interesting position. 

"Do I take advantage of the vast audience-- which may include potential NEW fans--on both sides of the aisle; do I pay off a few bills, or decline in silent protest of the election results, forfeit a payday, and maintain the support of my base?"

Do we as fans and consumers say, "Chile, please! GO GET THAT COIN!!!!" 

Are we asking how much the check is supposed to be, and offering to MATCH it so that the entertainers don't have to suffer a loss? 

Are we creating alternative, equally lucrative events where entertainers can perform since we don't want them performing over THERE for THAT?

IS performing at the inauguration just another gig to an entertainer, but treason and a career death-wish to his or her fans? 

THURSDAY THOUGHTS: WORDS

"Think before you speak". 

We all got that lesson at some point--some earlier in life than others. 

There was always that one teacher who would sense a student’s enthusiasm to blurt out an answer, and caution, "Think. I'm going to give you all a little time." 

Some students were anxious to answer, not because they knew the answer, but because they wanted to be first. They wanted to impress. They wanted to be clever. Some simply didn't know they had the luxury to pause, and ponder what they were going to say. They just felt like they had to say something--anything.

 
"Think before you speak." 

It was a critical lesson, because some people actually listen to, and hear what you say, not what you meant to say. They attach your words to you, and won't let you forget them--even if over time, you adopt new ideas, opinions, or standards. 

Those who value the idea that your word is your bond; those who embrace the accuracy of a Freudian slip; those who don't care about the temperature of the moment, may not have patience or tolerance with, or confidence in you to catch, amend, or correct yourself. They'll conclude you didn't misspeak, but that you really believed and stood firmly behind the first thing you said. 

For example:

Sen. Elizabeth Warren: "...can you just assure us that not one dollar will go to benefit either the President-elect or his family?"

Dr. Ben Carson: "It will not be my intention to do anything to benefit any...any American..."

Wait...what? 

Now, if you like the guy (and you know there was a time when he was our collective hero. He was considered one of the "good" smart ones; we had to buy and read his book; he was on the Black History Month bulletin board...at the top),you'll defend him; demand that the context in which he spoke be considered; conclude that it was a nerve wracking environment; or attribute it to a lack of sleep. 

Maybe he just didn't understand the question. 

Maybe he wasn't allowed to finish.

If you don't like the guy, you'll be appalled, laugh, shake your head, and wonder what bizzarro world we're living in where the preferred, accepted quality in leadership is to be unqualified, embarrassing, deluded, inconsistent, opportunistic, and lacking in empathy.

 .

I have a feeling this is yet another season of words--where they're going to be scrutinized, and dissected, and used as mirrors--and weapons--to show and remind us of ourselves, and the wisdom of our choices. 

#youbetterthink

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: CURRENT EVENTS: CRY ALOUD

Of COURSE I've thought about it! 
I've asked God about it. 

I even asked him to tell me what to think.
I'm a singer.
I'm a fan of REAL singers who don't rely heavily on technology.
I'm a Christian. I believe in someone who went about his entire life doing good.
I'm a believer in the authenticity of the Bible, (and the stories are better than anything on TV).
I'm a big, grateful fan of the New Covenant (Whew!!! Sure needed that!)
I'm a happy recipient of the grace of God--grace that I believe is available to everyone who embraces John 3:16.

I'm an owner of a dictionary, who's sure that "whosoever" really means "whoever"; "whatever person"...wherever they are.

I'm a user of social media.
I'm a fan of clever comedy.
I'm a mother.
I have a daughter.
I'm proud of successful, independent women in any field. It's inspiring.

I'm a fan of the First Amendment, freedom of speech and religion. 

I don't want anybody telling me what I can and can't say, or what I ought to believe or embrace.
I'm a fan of people who help others in meaningful, thoughtful, life-changing ways--(in ways that churches should, but don't).
I like talk shows.
I know what it is to be ostracized.

I don't like to see anyone hurting, misunderstood, or treated unfairly. 

I don't like bullies. 

I don't like discord, but one must know that in a world where people's beliefs are diverse and passionately held, one's words may be--no--WILL be met with opposition. 

What one believes is right and true for oneself, may not be accepted by others, no matter how right one thinks it is. 

I keep hearing "Holiness is right!". 

I wonder if the people who are constantly screaming that, are talking about the holiness of the Living God (against which no one should dare measure themselves) or their man-made, oppressive, imperfect denominations, entertainment centers, and family businesses which masquerade as houses of God. (Yeah. I said it. God has long since abandoned so many places and we don't even care or notice.) 

We will NEVER be as holy as God is. NEVER. 

There is not a righteous individual on this planet. Not one. 

The fact that God wants anything to do with mankind astounds me. We have so misused, poisoned, abridged, embellished, and polluted his plan with our agendas and ideas, that it is unrecognizable.  

God sent his Son into the world that the world through HIM (not us with our bad, sanctified, choreographed, fashionista, inconsistent, flawed, cliche-having selves) might be saved.

One of these days, we're going to read the ENTIRE list of what God hates. We're going to find ourselves, and stop harping on the vices of others that we think are worse than ours.  

We're going to stop categorizing sin as if, in God's estimation, any one is better, or more horrendous than another. 

One day we're going to stop reading the Bible with a searchlight and a highlighter for other people, but with a sharpie, blinders, and a pair of scissors for ourselves.

What if our lives suddenly went on display? 

What if, one day, totally out of the blue, our lives showed up on everyone's laptops, and smart phones, and everyone could see our private selves? Would we see the person who shows up at church, or another individual entirely? 

NO ONE is consistently standing on the WORD. 

EVERYONE is wretched and filthy. 

Every day demands that we repent of something, even if it's just an idle thought. 

Everyone is, and was in desperate need of Christ's finished work. 

If people think they're perfect and righteous, and therefore highly qualified to pick apart the lives of others, they're LIARS. 

I think the most qualified people to help others, are those with experience; those who have acknowledged their own need, and continuing need for help, and give credit to the source of that help for keeping them on track.

We ALL needed God's amazing gift. We can't, and are not equipped to fix ourselves. It stands to reason why we should always pray for our leaders because they are not perfect, and by all means check our motives, represent well, and watch what we say about others.

People are either furious with, or rallying behind two women who, I'm sure don't hate one another at all--who probably admire certain aspects of one another, but they are diametrically opposed in their beliefs and lifestyle. 

We learn what we live. 

We are products of our environments and experiences. 

Can ANYBODY tell me what Black church you EVER attended that didn't rage against the dangers of THE BIG THREE: Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol? Can you name ANYONE who, if they're honest, hasn't been tripped up, sidelined, snookered, or destroyed by one, or ALL of them? Have all of the accusations flowing across pulpits been confessions and projection?

I don't think there was a free speech issue. I think it was personal.

I also think a business decision had to be made: How do you continue to promote an important film, and hang on to vital relationships, while distancing it all from an argument that's as old as dirt itself?

But look what happened. The mere mention of the singer's name on the talk show STILL gave her publicity-- and someone said "No publicity is bad". Today, people who had no idea who the singer was; people who had never heard that absolutely incomparable, freak-of-nature, one-of-a-kind voice of hers, NOW know who she is. 

They know her name...and they've googled it...and listened to YouTube videos...and have no doubt, purchased music. There are a whole lot of people who'll never say it out loud, but they feel exactly as she does. She has new fans today.

Some people have NO difficulty separating the artist from the Art. Some people don't care if their favorite artist is a serial killer, as long as those played, or sung notes land properly. 

(Frankly, I'm waiting for someone to invite her to sing at the inauguration. I hear they're having trouble booking acts. You know how people do. They'll dog you one day, but rally around you QUICKLY the next day if they think you have a common enemy.

Okay.

*sigh*

Television shows are not churches or religious organizations. 

One day, we're going to learn that, and stop expecting backstage antics to be holy and righteous just because church folk happen to be involved. 

We're going to stop putting people in boxes and restricting their reach. We're going to stop thinking that anything with the word "gospel" affixed to it is Bible-based. 

TV shows and award shows? They are not subject to denominational rules or theological tenets. It's BUSINESS. 

A talk show host in a unique position of ownership, is the final authority, and will be held responsible by her audience for the green lights she gives. We have only to look back at what happened to her sitcom during a not so liberal time in U.S. and entertainment history. 

She understands oppression, shame, intolerance, and hatred. 

She understands bigotry, and how the person in charge can either make or break you. 

She knows what people do based on their preferences, influences, and who's making the greatest investment. She knows that money talks. 

No matter how you couch words, or say you're speaking the truth in Love, they can still offend someone who doesn't share your beliefs. They can still sound like an attack, or hate speech to someone who has been deeply hurt or rejected-- for whatever reason. 

The offended party, Ellen Degeneres, was hurt badly--publicly--and after a while, was able to rebuild--and own. 

She is now calling the shots. Why on EARTH would she share her platform with Kim Burrell, anyone else, or anything even remotely akin to, or in favor of her past humiliation? 

 
If I become aware of how you feel about me and people like me, NOT secondhand, but because I heard you make it abundantly, loudly, repeatedly, and publicly clear, why should I--no-- why WOULD I allow you to come to MY house, occupy the best room, and shine? Why? 

To see how gracious, diplomatic, and professional I can be? 

To give you a chance to ambush, embarrass, or preach to me? 

If you DON'T approve of me or my choices, WHY would you even seek, want, or consent to come to my house and stand on my porch...or my ROOF, and benefit from my hospitality? 

Why would you be surprised if my friends defend my decision to keep you as far away from me and my neighborhood as possible?

Every platform is not for you, no matter how popular or enriching it may be. When you take your toys to another person's playroom, don't be surprised if they expect you to play by their rules. 

If you're disappointed or bewildered that you weren't allowed to participate in an arena inundated by people you despise, don't understand, fear, or oppose, perhaps you should check your beliefs AND motives. 

People ought to know what they're going to get when they call on you, and it ought to be consistent. 

You know what YOU will, and won't tolerate, so why test it? 

Why expect others to understand and tolerate you?

The presidential election has demonstrated that there is no shortage of people who will support ANYTHING and ANYONE without thinking, educating themselves, utilizing reason or wisdom. But of course, that's my opinion. Some people are beside themselves with joy. See? 

People really are as enthusiastic about their views as I am about mine--and they have that right. This of course, is America. 

We all say we love it, and for reasons as diverse as the stars. 

Some of us see its faults. 

Some see those faults as necessary to maintain a certain status quo. 

Some of us think America is for all of us. Some of us think that it is ours alone, and others should go back where they came from-- without realizing that they, and their ancestors came from one of the 50 states. How DID we get so selfish in this land supposedly founded upon Biblical principles and the desire for freedom? 

But I digress...

What each individual should do, is examine him or herself. 

God doesn't even demand loyalty or compliance to his Word. 

Even He gives us all a choice to believe and embrace Him or not. What we must remember, if we truly believe his Word, is that the consequences of our choices are real, God doesn't play favorites, doesn't change, and his patience is greater than ours.  

He gave me time to say "Yes". 

Why would I think he wouldn't extend the same grace to someone else?

Anyone bragging that they are living holy as a result of their own steam and discipline, is a liar. This walk is a daily, hourly one. 

Apart from God's revelation, grace and faith we wouldn't even be able to acknowledge that he even exists, so we REALLY must stop puffing ourselves up as perfect, better than, and superior just because we go to church, or can quote a few scriptures. 

Discerning people know better, and thanks to the wonderful world of social media, many find the church especially amusing, bizarre, powerless, superficial, disjointed, and inconsistent. 

We have to represent God better. 

I fear we are turning away more people than we are embracing. 

But how can one authentically represent someone that one doesn't know? 

If we really knew and respected God, we'd cut out a whole lot of stuff we've deemed necessary.

Self-righteousness, lying, and hypocrisy are problems. It would be like me declaring, "I don't like popcorn! Popcorn is evil! I've NEVER liked popcorn. People shouldn't even touch that!" 

It would only take a few nanoseconds for a whole slew of shocked people to refresh my memory for me. They'll whip out photos of me holding a ginormous tub in a movie theater. They'll spin tales from their personal experience of watching me purchase, pop, butter, shape into balls, or shovel handfuls of it into my mouth. They'll show me proof of myself indulging in the very thing I said I reject, and about which I harshly judge others. I would then, have to explain myself, and shamefully repent.

Crying aloud, too, has consequences. 

We really have to mind how we go after others, and not be surprised when they push back. 

Everyone who knew you "when" is neither deceased nor brain dead.  

When you mount ANY soapbox, someone who knew you "when" will be poised to expose and topple you, especially if they have a transcript from your past that contradicts everything for which you say you currently stand.

PERCEPTION AND REALITY

This is a banana. 
That's your story and you're sticking with it.
You had a banana for breakfast. 
Of course you did.
Even if you say it every day, it won't make it so, but good luck with that.

Ripe bananas sweetened the batter that yielded the pancakes. So, you wouldn't be misrepresenting the meal completely if you said you had a banana, would you? Technically, you did have one.

It's all about one's perception--or one's motive when one is attempting to convince oneself—or others—of one thing or another. 
No one would feel sorry for you if, when asked, you said you had pancakes, sausage, eggs, and a cold glass of cran-tangerine juice. They might tell you how blessed you are, or how grateful you ought to be. They might even envy your good fortune, especially if you don't even have to lift a finger to enjoy it. However, there's something about pitifully moaning, "All I had was a banana this morning" that is overloaded with a cry for sympathy. Hearing you say, "All I had was a banana" has the potential to make people think you're destitute, hungry, disabled, or being starved and neglected. They might be appalled, and feel compelled to abandon their affairs, and take up your cause--only to find, you don't have one.

Those who know better, might admire your discipline, and assume you've embarked upon a strict diet spurred on by your 2017 resolution to cut carbs and increase your potassium intake. 
You however, know the truth, and you can choose to skew your perception, but your waistline and face will betray you every time.

By the way. That's a mighty good looking banana. See it for what it is, and enjoy it. No one will care, or  have an issue if you do, unless of course, the issue lies within you.

SUNDAY THOUGHTS: FIRST SNOW

There was a time when I wanted no parts of cold weather, snow, or Winter. 

You couldn't pay nor convince me to go out if the weather forecast was bleak. 

I've never been a fan of falling down, either.

  

Snow was one of those things to be appreciated from the comfort of one's home, while sipping something chocolate. 

Yesterday, I didn't let the snow deter me. 

I saw it falling and accumulating with no end in sight, but hit the app anyway. 

I checked to see if the event was cancelled. It wasn't. 

I had no excuse for not enjoying the day. 

The generous blessing courtesy of a delightful woman's 98th birthday was lovely. 

I'm so happy I went outside. 

Everywhere I looked, even in usually mundane places was stunning.

Maneuvering Pleasant Prospect Road was a challenge (The lesson: All it takes is one fearful person ahead of you to stop, slow down your progress, and cause you and everyone behind you to lose momentum and go backward.), but I made it to my destination and had a wonderful time. 

My LYFT drivers were so courteous and were extremely safe. 

One even had apple Jolly Ranchers! (It's the little things.)

My grandmother used to say, "Follow your first mind". Mine said, "Enjoy the beauty."

 
It really was beautiful.
 

SUNDAY THOUGHTS: ON THE JOB---BE ENCOURAGED

There are times when the Lord won't allow you to be fast on your feet. You'll hear, "I've got this", so clearly! He'll handle it.

When you think of the witty, biting, TRUE stuff you COULD have said, but He kept your mouth shut, it's a little scary. 

Words truly ARE powerful, and you'll surprise yourself when the contents of your heart are revealed, concerning those who have simply gone too far. 

There's a difference between speaking up, and giving someone a piece of your mind. 

People NEED to know when they have crossed boundaries, so that they won't think they have free reign to do it again--ESPECIALLY people who have no filter, respect, or empathy, when it comes to you. 

I just don't know WHEN people started thinking they could disregard you, or confront you based on the word of someone else! Sometimes, speaking up is prudent and timely.

 

It doesn't matter what skewed narrative someone is desperately spinning and spreading about you, to everyone who will listen. It doesn't matter what picture of you someone paints, in order to make themselves appear innocent, important, or to gain sympathy. Discerning people know what's up. Sometimes it doesn't even take discernment--just eyes and ears.

No one can make you look bad, when you're consistently on the job and effective at it--not even narcissistic individuals. THE TRUTH IS THE LIGHT. 

You wanna see folk slither back to their own business; resume worrying about their own affairs; reassess their opinions; check themselves and their motives; apologize profusely? Just go on and tell them the truth with boldness, and in its entirety.

You've been quiet and nice so long they didn't think you knew the truth--or they thought you were weak. Surprise them.

.

Good documentation skills are your friends, on ANY job. Document. Document. Document. No one will ever be able to say what you did, or didn't do.

Speak up. Part of your problem is that some people think you're a pushover. Educate them. So WHAT if they deem you mean, unapproachable, rigid, or unfriendly. That's standard for people who can no longer manipulate you. 

In the future, they'll think before they speak or act, and that's a good thing.