TUESDAY THOUGHTS

Discern when the decision has already been made, and the seemingly sincere, urgent request for your wise input is purely a patronizing formality—or a test. 

The decision makers are hoping to have your support, but they don’t really want nor need it. Any reservations, arguments, or concerns you put forth, will prove it. Watch those smiles leave their faces. Listen to previously clear communication be riddled with stammering. Notice how once perfect comprehension becomes confusion. Note the silence, subject switch, snarky attitude, or the abrupt end of the exchange. 

Is it input that’s being sought, or consent? Advice or blessing? That’ll determine how much energy you should expend.

There’s no claim of transparency or trust after the fact. Those gems should absolutely exist, between involved, interested, and impacted parties, prior to the making of oral or written agreements, the breaking of ground, the making of schedules, the assignment of personnel, the forming of alliances, the promise of participation, the spending or disbursement of resources, or the establishment of representative or governing bodies. 

“They” don’t want to know what you think, if they’re coming to you with a fully conceived, active plan, decision, menu, itinerary, choice, or product in hand. At that point, it’s just show-and-tell. What’s expected is support. If they’re just going to do what they want, why bother asking what you think? Do they merely want you to feel like you’ve been consulted, heard, or are a vital part of the conversation? Do they reach out because they need to gauge how much pushback, complaints, disapproval, judgment, protests, and even moral or legal hurdles they may have to face?

Look. They’ve already had THE meeting amongst themselves. They’ve already committed themselves, time, resources, AND even you. They’ve probably already even relayed that you’ll be fine with it! The deal is done. They know deep down that you aren’t, and would never be in favor. They see the pitfalls, too. They already know YOU, and what’s important to you. They know that if they’d acted with integrity, the plan would have been dead in the water—not even on the table. It wouldn’t have been a random thought. They just have to pretend that your opinion matters, about something no one asked for, nor wants. Unless you’re in favor of, or benefiting from, or being financially enriched by the plan, as they are, your views are moot. 

Follow the money, and the boneheaded plan, that serves only a compromised few, makes perfect sense. Understand that they need time to arrange guilt trips, and formulate excuses, gaslighting talking points, performative delays, and reasons why you should blindly agree and hop on board a bandwagon that’s already in motion—and has probably been chugging along for a long time. 

You know better than to try and jump into a moving vehicle. Stand by for the cleanup and fallout, though. Reserve your “I told you so.” Save your two cents. Stand still. It’ll stop. Poorly conceived and executed ideas usually do.