FOURTH OF JULY: EAST OF THE RIVER

Happy Independence Day! 

(WHOSE independence is highly debatable.)

Happy 238th Birthday, America, and Happy 239th Birthday to the U.S. Army

--in which, if I had the authority, I would enlist every person outdoors who's holding a lit match, and send them straight to Fort Greely...no...Siberia.

I don't dread the day. 

It's a lovely day that the Lord has made! 

It's just what comes with the day that concerns me. 

It's the annual commencement of DC's most popular game: "Gunshots or Fireworks?" 

Does one phone 911, and hear the seemingly unaffected voice of a dispatcher, who has to contend with a record number of similar calls, or does one merely pray that no one was actually shot, and is bleeding in the street as you struggle to make up your mind? 

I am officially getting old.

Well, Chirren, in this year's exciting episode of "Fourth of July Tales From East of the River", Lil' Ray Ray, Tee Tee, Man Man, an' Nem got started at exactly 7:40 AM with the ammo they must have picked up during their last field trip to the Pentagon.

Yes, your girl started praying a Davidic-type prayer, replete with words like "smite" and "beasts". 

Would that I had the power to:  

summon a swarm of mosquitoes,

and torrential rain (come on, Arthur), 

and harness the mighty wind to snuff out every match, and carry away every lighter, and blow down every eyesore fireworks stand, and reduce them to kindling,

and become independently wealthy so I can pay off every vendor.

and render useless every fuse of anything that's meant to explode or mimic gunfire (except, of course, the stuff that will be controlled tonight by the licensed professionals of Garden State Fireworks Company)

and, finally, I'd make a law: 

NO FIREWORKS IN DENSELY POPULATED RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOODS BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 12 AM AND 12 AM!!!!!!

I can see how people snap. 

I would understand if someone would just go outside, sleep deprived, in their pajamas and start smacking people with a stop sign. 

I can see how an insanity plea can be justified. 

I can see how people in war-torn areas can either become desensitized or go insane...

*sigh*

Attitude needs adjusting...must flee to quiet Maryland...must find happy, cheerful Vanessa...

Let's see...Thank you, Psalm 118:24...

*woosaaaaah*

Be safe, Everybody... 

Oh...and don't end the day without reading "What To The Slave is The Fourth of July" by Frederick Douglass...and pick up a copy of "Negro Comrades of the Crown: African Americans and the British Empire Fight the U.S. Before Emancipation" by Gerald Horne...

and try endure the noise in a way that will not be detrimental to your health. 
That's it...Put the bottle down. 

Hopefully the revelers will run out of ammo by mid August or so.