LAST NIGHT I DREAMED...

I remembered my dream again! Once again, it wasn't continuous.
In one segment, I was watching a late-night talk show on TV. The house band decided they were walking off the set, and they did--live on the air. There was a mad scramble to replace them. Guys from the audience rushed to the stage and manned all of the instruments. When they began to play, a blue curtain rose to reveal a huge choir, clad in robes. They looked terrified, and were barely singing. One of my Vision brothers, Byron, was suddenly directing them. I started screaming, "Look! It's Byron! Byron's on TV!" He was wearing a blue striped shirt and slacks, and had apparently been sitting in the audience too. (Perhaps the choir's director had left with the band.) The choir seemed more confident, and began to really sing! Byron motioned for a soloist to step forward to a microphone with one hand, and kept directing with the other. He made some kind of gesture to the sound man to either turn on, or adjust the microphone that was nearest him. The whole time he was communicating with the sound people to fix everything back the way it was, he never stopped directing the choir. When the soloist was done, Byron turned around to the audience and began to sing, himself.

In another segment, several people had come to my home. I had apparently been babysitting. I walked everyone to their car when it was time to leave. I waved goodbye to them as they drove away, and was skipping back to the house. I was smiling and happy. My hair was all over my head, bouncing, and like a thick natural cloud. I was wearing a sleeveless, short gray sundress. (It never fails. There's always some indication that it WAS a dream...The gigantic Afro...The sundress...The SKIPPING.)

In the last segment I was amongst a crowd of people in the basement of a church. There was food everywhere. People were laughing, talking, and greeting one another as if they hadn't seen each other in a while. One person was snapping photos with an old-fashioned camera. The person asked if I would take a photo with the pastor. I agreed. He put his arm around my shoulder, and pressed his face against mine. The person took the picture, and as I turned to my right, there was a small group of women glaring at me. I quickly turned away, and was suddenly in a room where 2 older ladies were unfolding a large paper tree that had hundreds of gold paper leaves. I began helping them with it. They said it was a prayer tree, and that people would be coming in to the room. Sure enough, people DID begin filling the folding chairs that were set up. The women encouraged everyone to take a leaf off of the tree and read it so the pastor would know what to pray for. He came in, took a leaf off of the tree and began speaking to me. "When you were a little girl and trying recipes, you would always follow the directions exactly, but then, you would always add something extra." He then looked past me to the back of the room. My mother was sitting there. He asked, "Isn't that right, Sister Williams?" My mom smiled and nodded her head. I didn't know that she was there. The pastor continued, "Even when you go, you're never too far away. You always stay just close enough." The people in the room had begun to talk amongst themselves as he spoke, and it got a little noisy. The pastor quieted them, and began to pray.

Then, I woke up. I wish I could remember the song Byron was singing...: )

TODAY I LEARNED

"Giraffes have vocal cords but rarely use them. They communicate with their eyes...
Other animals can just bend their heads and drink. A giraffe must, first, get his head to the water...A giraffe has no tear ducts, but has been known to cry."

Becoming separated is what made the fish vulnerable...Though the predators have disbanded, the threat still remains. Trapped in shallow waters, fish begin to suffocate--victims of their great numbers..."

Wow. Nature programs, designed to be educational, have such profound spiritual implications. I feel like I should send an offering to PBS.

SUNDAY THOUGHTS: SHARING DREAMS

If I don't recall my dreams immediately after I wake up, they're gone. I might have faint recollections of the full-color movies of my mind, but that's all. Without continuity, the pieces of my dreams don’t seem worth exploring.

Last night's dream was all over the place. It wasn't continuous, but 3 or 4 separate story lines. 

It featured people I knew, and didn't know. 

It also featured me displaying a boldness I only hope I would display in real life. 

I was admonishing someone about a highly unacceptable business proposal. It surely was a dream! 

When I'm awake, the individual generally demonstrates a great deal of integrity. I hope that's not about to change.

When I woke up, I shared one of the sequences of my dream with my daughter. She suggested that I share it with our friend--immediately.

I dreamed that I was looking out of a second floor window at the rear of a house. The area reminded me of my childhood back yard, except that there was a short sidewalk. 

I saw a friend's pre-teen daughter walking slowly on the sidewalk. She was carrying a backpack, and had on a black blouse and blue jeans. She was making progress, but it was clear that she was out of it--sleepy even. 

As she walked in a daze toward her school bus, a tall man, who was walking a black terrier-looking dog approached her. I couldn't identify, the man's face. The dog leaped up and grabbed on to her shirt and wouldn't let go. I threw open the window when it seemed that the man was just standing there doing nothing. 

I was screaming, "Let her go! Let her go! Get off of her!" 

My daughter, who in the dream was a little girl again, joined me in screaming--only she added that she was calling the police. The dog finally let my friend's daughter go, and she continued walking out of our sight.

I phoned my friend when I decided I'd better share the dream, but got her voicemail. I didn't leave a message. Part of me still thought it was a little silly to alarm her. She returned my call, though, and I told her of my dream. She said that she was so glad that I shared it with her. She and her husband had been considering allowing their daughter to walk home alone after school. They'd reasoned that she had proven herself responsible for her age. She would only be alone for about a half hour, until one of them arrived home from their respective places of employment. 

Even so, she said she had been agonizing over the decision--praying and wondering what to do.
I was stunned. She thanked me for getting over my apprehension about sharing, and said her decision was made. Her daughter would remain in the aftercare program at school.

I'm not a spooky person, nor do I ascribe to superstition. That was a little spooky, though!
Dreams DO serve a purpose--either for ourselves or others. I'm glad, now, that I remembered mine before the activities of the day caused my memory of it to fade.

Not minutes ago, I found out that PBS is airing "What Are Dreams?" on Wednesday night at 9:00PM.

 I think I'll tune in...: )

SATURDAY THOUGHTS: RACISM PERSISTS

AOL FanHouse columnist, Greg Couch's article, for AOL's Sporting News, in which he addresses Serena Williams' Court 2 placement at Wimbledon, wasn't NEARLY as interesting as some of the comments it generated from readers. One comment that struck me was made by a woman from Houston, Texas. 

She wrote:

"History, what do blacks know about history. After all, your always making yours up as you go along. Taking credit for things you did not create or invent. All you act like only blacks, made history, but guess what most blacks don't really have much history, unless they make it up, which they do all the time."

I can only imagine the conviction with which the statement was written. One shouldn't laugh at sheer ignorance, but some things call for that "Oh, poor thing" kind of laugh you experience when a toddler, with a straight face, strings together completely unrelated words and believes he, or she is making sense. 

As the daughter of an English teacher, the comment was scary enough, but I admit the grammar and sentence structure made me cringe, too. My laughter, however, didn't last long. 

It was followed by a little sadness as I thought about my old "They Had A Dream" scrapbook (filled with the biographies of noted Black pioneers in every field of study.) I thought to myself, "She truly really believes what she wrote. Perhaps, in order to feel good about herself at all, she HAS to believe it". 

I thought about something my grandmother used to say, "Don't pay them no mind. They don't know any better."
The Houston-based rant continued with the following:

"I got news for you. There are a huge number of blacks today, who think blacks use the race card way to much. I will say it to you, like I have said it before. Blacks are just as racist as anyone else. The difference is, we admit it, but blacks refuse to look at their own communities and see it in themselves. Look close because it is there."

Don't you love it when someone endeavors to speak for you when they have no clue about your experience, other than their oppressive role in it? 

Readers wasted no time berating the proud daughter of Confederate ancestry, and questioning her schooling, and values. 

One reader identified her as "a sheet wearing creature of the 18th century", another suggested she read her Bible, while another decided against replying altogether.
Undeterred, the writer pressed on with her take on Serena and Venus:

"The problem is she has not win, any big matches in over a year. She and her sister are not listed in the top 10 or even the top 20 anymore. That is the problem. Her career is almost over and she is in panic mode."

(Again with the grammar, hearkening for the days of the red ink pen. *sigh*)

I was born in Louisiana, and am the daughter of an eighty-four-and-a-half year old Black man. I have seen, experienced, and heard countless stories of overt and covert racism all of my life. I now understand the fear-based nature of it; the selfishness and desperation of it. 

Some people underestimate God's ability to care for and love us all. They also fear that everything they've ever known has been a lie. The lie has to be maintained because the truth is too difficult to bear. Being wrong is too much to handle. 

Saying, "I'm sorry" would be tantamount to poisoning oneself. 

Asking, "Will you forgive me?" would be like betrayal. 

Laying down the rhetoric and accoutrements of hate would mean an admission of ignorance and evildoing. 

*Cue Yai Yai* "You are going to Hell." 

When something is so deep and interwoven into the fabric of an individual, it's hard to extract. One becomes comfortable, and feels justified in their ideals and positions. 

A hardened heart is a terrible, self destructive thing. It has the capacity to dictate that there is a way that things are supposed to be-- even if resorting to criminal, inhumane behavior are acceptable forms of enforcement. 

When righteousness and justice confront and expose perpetuated evil, there is STILL a remnant that longs for evil to remain. That desperate remnant then teaches evil to its children, and the cycle continues.

Even when a person's lot in life is the curb, instilled hatred will cause them to insist that they are better and higher up than their fellow man--especially if that fellow man is of a different ethnicity. 

Racism is so alive and well in America. Those who are connoisseurs of it try so hard to camouflage it, but it is just too darned arrogant, loud, and obvious to hide. 

The mouth just can't hold back what is abundantly present in an individual's heart. 

Hatred is so cunning, that it doesn't even allow a person to hear or filter their own words. 

Hatred makes blind fools out of people. 

Hatred makes blind fools celebrate and agree with the agendas of other blind fools. 

Anyone who says that racism does not exist, or carps about race cards being played has either never experienced it, or is severely deluded. Hatred also cultivates denial.

Racism plagues our president. His election has NEVER been proof that racism is dead. It's just lends credibility to the argument that those who THINK they make up the so-called voting majority selectively forget to TOTAL the numbers of so-called voting minorities. 

The idea that a Black man is the President of the United States sticks in the craw of so many people. No matter what he does, someone will find a problem with it--not because he is shiftless, lazy, uneducated, unrefined, rude, profane, irresponsible, or immoral, but because of the color of his skin. It's that skin color that drives bigots crazy. It's a reminder of secrets, lies, and America's great sin. It's a reminder that one look at a family tree may reveal that even they may not be who they think they are.

So many people cannot, and WILL not see past the President's hue to see or hear HIM. He could find a cure for Cancer, end hunger, AND achieve world peace, and some people would STILL only see him as another out of place, uppity nigger who upsets the balance of their world, and flies in the face of everything they were ever taught.

Likewise, in spite of their extraordinary skill, to some people, Serena and Venus Williams will never be more than two black intruders. They may as well keep having fun, shining, and breaking records in places that seemingly want to, but cannot exclude them. 

Cocoa hue or not, those women are just phenomenal on a tennis court--whether it's Center Court, Court 2, or the court on the grounds of THEARC on Mississippi Avenue, SE in DC.

Jealousy is one ol' hate motivator! I guess it is possible for a person who longs to run, or hasn't experienced anything outside of their own community or state, to be envious of someone who not only runs, but sprints, leaps spins, lunges, dives, and jumps...and is celebrated worldwide.

I simply HAD to see if the woman commenting from Houston was a REAL person, or just some random bot or hacker looking to start a message board riot. Who knew that bitterness can ooze from a Facebook page right through your computer screen? 

I found that her favorite quotation is,
"Live and let live, but don't rub my nose in your life style, or then I get cranky, and tell you to shut the hell up, live your life and leave me alone."
Hmmm. Nice. 

On her wall, in her OWN rebuke of the inappropriate behavior of someone named "Tommy" (who happens to be white), she wrote the following:
"Stirring the beans to make a good point is ok, but doing it just to get people fighting is unacceptable Tommy; and interrupting people when they talk is WRONG; and telling people they don't know something that happened, and IT'S ABOUT THEIR OWN LIVES, TOMMY is really, really, RUDE and JUST NOT DONE."

The latter portion of her statement leaped off of the screen. It always amazes me when people can't see that THEY are doing the exact SAME thing about which they criticize others! It appears that Jesus and a heart transplant are needed in the worse way. 

Is this the SAME person who wrote the provocative response to Couch's AOL article? It couldn't be! 

I read some of the comments on her wall, and realized that much of her incendiary rhetoric has its roots in instability, loneliness, and disappointment. She made sarcastic remarks about Serena Williams' career, but it seems that her OWN career is threatened and has her in panic mode.

When one knows better, one does better. 

If one lives ignorance, that's what one learns. 

I realized that she can't help how she thinks. She could change if she wanted to, but she doesn't have to, nor does she think she needs to. 

A pattern of hatred has probably been in her family for generations. By her own admission she is disabled and wants to get back into nursing. I hope and pray that she does, and needs the assistance a Black person, no, SEVERAL Black people, to help her or her mother very soon. I pray that through the interaction, she realizes that her ignorance and negativity has no merit, and has harmed no one but herself. She may not want my prayers, but I'm praying for her just the same.

The Williams sisters are laughing all the way to the bank. Readers of Couch's article, on the other hand, are defending Venus and Serena's right to play on a spot of land that is probably the size of one of their closets. They are living their dream, and demonstrating the skills they both learned and mastered long ago, no matter WHERE they play at Wimbledon. Even if they were lobbing balls on the parking lot, they're THERE while we, the readers of Couch's article, are sitting at home at our respective computers.

It is pitiful that in 2011, folks get downright irate at the successes of people of color. In 2011 people still would rather demonstrate unbelievable levels of stupidity and reject truth, than to shake off the hateful binds that strangle them.

I would love for the History Detectives to research the African-American side of the writer's family. I know quite a few non-white people with a similar surname. I wonder if they are descendants of slaves who took on the surname of their Texas slave master, but, after emancipation, decided to change one vowel? The writer's ancestors were a part of Stephen Fuller Austin's colony in Texas called "The Old 300". Between 1821 and 1823, he established a colony of families along the Brazos River. Of the nearly 1800 people in the colony, almost 500 were slaves. I wonder how many shared the writer's surname, and how many degrees of separation exist between them and the Williams sisters' family? I wonder if the writer is as white as she thinks she is? Maybe she DOES have authority to speak for Black people, after all, because she IS Black (by virtue of plantation shenanigans).
I know. I'm reaching, but I love it when truth, historical records and DNA put a muzzle on ignorance.

Sorry, proponents of hate and fear, but God is STILL no respecter of persons. We ALL can pick up a tennis racket or a BOOK, if we want to, and make the best use of our talents and intellect. We don't have to diminish or deny the accomplishments of others because our own lot in life isn't sunny and bright.
Why put others down, and then wonder why our own elevation--even employment, or good health are elusive?

Play on, Serena and Venus.
Play on, Colored, Negro, Black, African-American People of America. 

Some things will never change, however, I have to believe that "in the end, Love wins".

WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS: UNSTOPPABLE

The men in hard hats were back on the job today. 

They couldn't begin work at 7AM yesterday as planned. 

With equipment in place, they waited a few hours before they could really start working. 

They found things to do to pass the time, but they seemed a little frustrated that a single parked car delayed their start time. 

When it was finally moved, another car, parked at the foot of the hill, caused them to make adjustments to how and where they would dig. 

The car limited the use of their equipment, but they figured out a way to work around it, until its owner finally moved it.
I was sure, since they couldn't start at 7 yesterday, that a decision would be made for them to report to work today at 9 or 10. 

That was the time that the majority of people in the community left for work and other destinations. 

I was wrong. 

Just a little before 7AM, a truck pulled up. 

The men reported to work once again, on time. 

Their standards were not going to be compromised by a few parked cars. 

They had a time established to be on the job, and they showed up-- whether the work conditions would be favorable or not.

Today, apparently, everyone in the community got the message. "Don't park on the street"--at least not the side of the street where the excavation was taking place. 

One man operated the vehicle that would move the heavy metal safety plates that covered the deep rectangular hole that had been dug yesterday. 

(It was interesting to be able to see the actual thickness of the pavement.) 

Even with the clawed, digging machine in place, three men with long poles manually broke up the earth. 

(I admit I was hoping to see something emerge from the excavation other than the chestnut colored dirt.)
There was no standing around idly today. 

Work is under way. 

Maybe they will be able to complete this phase of the job on time.

I suppose when you make it clear that you will not be stopped, people get the message, take their hindrances, and get out of the way.

My grandmother Ethel used to say, "If you get up soon in the morning and get all of your work done, you will have the rest of the day for yourself".
My grandmother was right. 

Not only are the street construction workers on the job bright and early, the landscaping company workers are, too. 

I'm encouraged. 

I may as well get up. 

There's no resting or sleeping through all of the buzzing, drilling, humming, whirring and whizzing, anyhow. 

Don't let anything stop you.

DELAY

Several men in hardhats and safety vests were just standing on the sidewalk talking. Occasionally, they would walk up and down the street on both sides, moving or realigning cones. They'd stop, lean against the fence or sit on the sidewalk. A few might light up cigarettes. They talked amongst themselves, but for the most part, they seemed idle, and even anxious. They'd look around, switch from foot to foot, but mostly, if not for their attire, it would have appeared that they were loitering. They had posted signs on the orange cones. From 7AM until 5PM there were to be no cars parked on the street, but the street was lined with parked cars on both sides. There would be no drilling, excavating, or digging going on. Their equipment was in place, but it was silent and still.
As residents emerged, headed for work and other places, and moved their vehicles, work began, but cautiously--and perhaps, not as planned. The cars cleared out on one side of the street, but was that the side on which the workmen wanted to begin?
At 11:23, there were still a few cars on the street. The workmen have decided to maneuver around them. If the vehicles are damaged, who is at fault? There is now a long, narrow, but deep hole in the ground. Only one vehicle can pass now. The work has reduced the street to one lane. How far could they have been into the job had the street been completely cleared of vehicles at 7AM? It's now after noon. The lone vehicle still parked on the street is causing the workers to do manually what a single machine could have done. They don't look too happy, but they're digging anyway. They were prepared obviously. Perhaps this has happened to them before.

A single, unmovable item can delay progress. Those willing, able and ready to work have no choice but to stand around and wait, because they have no authority to move it. As soon as it is gone, however, the work can continue. The delay, however, will cost.

It's now 2:50. The last vehicle is finally out of the way. The equipment can now take advantage of its full range of movement. The job can be completed--later than anticipated--but completed. What if a few hindrances caused the workers to leave the work site or cancel the work altogether?

Sometimes, even when it's unbearable, you just have to work around it.

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: FRIENDS

Social networking is a trip--a very fun, helpful, informative trip, but a trip nonetheless. 

Sometimes I think about abandoning it altogether.

There are days when I think, "You're not strong enough for this", or 

"You should SAY something!", or 

"Do NOT reply! DO NOT REPLY! Back AWAY from the computer!" 

Obviously, I haven't given up on the newest way to occupy/waste time. It has its merits. It also has its down side. The word "friend" has come to be defined as "one who is in your life as a result of the striking a computer key".

I read the comment that showed up on my twitter time line. It was so touching and complimentary. It was also sad, because I knew it was not something the recipient would want seen in public. 

The writer was sincere. 

He really thinks they're friends now. 

If he only knew how they wish he would keep the sentiments he shares to himself...and what is said when he's not around. 

He keeps plugging away though, and daily interacting with people who share his profession, but not his philosophy. 

Every day he exchanges pleasantries with people who desire his notoriety, chase after his fame and finances, and covet his contacts, but would rather that it not be assumed, or known that he is a CLOSE friend.

What would people think? 

Much of what goes on with social networking doesn't really give much thought to discretion, sensitivities, or truth.

So many people. 

So many ambitions. 

So much deceit. 

So much rejection. 

So much information. 

Today, there's a way to interact with people who were once elusive. 

Today, people can say what they've always wanted to say--whether they get a response or not. 

It's how badly people want certain things, that could really pose a dilemma. 

People are going for it, though. 

Taking chances. 

Taking that shot, and getting shot down--in public, in 140 words or less.

Some public endorsements can be problematic, and imply relationships that don't exist. Even if justified, are there some stamps of approval you'd rather do without, simply because of the speculation they may cause?

If it meant lowering standards, abandoning faith, embracing bad habits, or losing dignity, it wasn't a missed opportunity.

#socialmedia

#friends

#networking

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: WORK MATTERS----AN OLD ISSUE

Very few people go to work, and have NO idea how much, or IF they are going to be paid. 

Musicians and singers do it all the time.

 

There's a hope that people will operate in good faith. So often, the way they operate, is less than insulting. Some of the greatest insults come from fellow singers and musicians-- who should know better.

Contrary to popular belief, monthly creditors, like Potomac Electric Power Company, for example, do not consider sheet cake, chicken drummettes, meatballs, corsages, flowers, centerpieces, scarves, ties, souvenir booklets, certificates, or red church juice as negotiable, legal tender. 

They will not allow customers to exchange ANY of the aforementioned items for the necessary services they provide in these hot and muggy days. 

Musicians and singers, who labor at the request of others, to enhance anniversaries, conferences, weddings, christenings, openings, closings, etc., DESERVE to be fairly compensated. 

What they do is, in fact, WORK.

What IS it that causes people think, that others should pay to participate, (transportation, wardrobe, grooming, parking) get nothing out of it, and yet be grateful for being in the red? 

Consider YOUR expectation on payday, and ask yourself how YOU would feel if your boss gave you a handshake and a "Thank You" instead of your check--or ducked and avoided you at the end of the day.
People always have choices to do, or not to do. When participation costs more than one is capable of paying, the choice becomes an easy one.

You hope that people would stop expecting something for nothing, but good luck with that. Those who sing the praises of volunteerism, as they drive to the bank to deposit the money THEY earned, are something else. 

The religious guilt trips about "service" and "ministry" organized to camouflage cheapness, ignorance, deceit, and selfishness, are hilarious.

People should really stop playing dumb, or being offended when they're told, "The freebies are over". They should stop insulting professionals, and diminishing the value of the work they do. 

If you're the user, stop taking advantage of the time and kindness of others.

Want people to WORK? Pay them. 

Good grief.

Unfortunately, part of the blame are the singers and musicians who continually rely on the integrity of others--integrity, of which, others prove to be void. Some singers and musicians have learned the lesson. They speak up for themselves. They get mountains of flack about it, but they are no longer standing among the angry, dumbfounded, disappointed, and flat broke after a musical event is over. 

As long as there are hungry, gullible others, the pattern of flat-out cheating people will go on.

Know your honest worth-- and don't be afraid to declare it. 

Those who respect what you do, will recognize it, and respond properly.

WAKING THOUGHTS

I consider an app page potential spam if:
1. It was not developed by the social network.
2. It doesn't include a "block" option.
3. It makes my anti-virus software go all Navy Seals on my computer.


When people have a habit of dropping cheese cracker crumbs all over the place, and spilling sugary drinks but never cleaning it up, the person they should be angry with is not the exterminator, but themselves. Critters are only looking for food. Don't be surprised when they show up if you're forever feeding them.


Sometimes people are confident that you approve of what they're doing or saying. They're so sure you will agree with them, that they come to you to air their issues, decisions, and plans. As they vent/talk, they never get it that your silence is not consent, but shock and disbelief (that will quickly turn to anger and disgust if you allow their words to marinate in your mind too long). You want to say something, but ANYTHING you say will be met with a defensive response. You don't want to appear judgmental, but the whole time they're talking you wonder if they're even listening to themselves. Surely they don't actually think what they're saying makes a lick of sense, do they?
Sometimes when you see people coming--when you see a name pop up on the caller ID, you have to tell yourself, "You can't. Walk in the opposite direction. Let it ring. You are a drama-free zone. Mind your own business."


When you've already won, don't let anyone trick you into thinking the game isn't over. Shake hands, thank Mom, get off the field, hit the showers, and prepare for the next contest. Don't make some stupid play that won't count. Don't do something ridiculous that will cause you to lose your position, or the win to be disqualified.

IN FAIRNESS

If you're fortunate enough to have capable, efficient people to call upon when there's a job to be done, recognize it, and stop making them feel as if they are forever proving themselves, paying dues, or competing for the job. If those capable, efficient people happen to be friends, act as if you care about the friendship, or don't be surprised when your calls go unanswered. Instead of being hurt and puzzled, consider that, though YOU may think you were trying to hook them up, their "No" or failure to respond is their way of rescuing themselves from a hanging. People don't like being jerked around ONCE, let alone repeatedly.

When you seek out person A, and they consent to do the job, do YOURSELF a favor and show them the same respect and consideration as you would have shown Person B--whose price was too high--or who is hip to your attitude and poor business practices, and refuses to work with or for you EVER again. It's amazing how person A is suddenly "not all that" after they inform you they will no longer be doing freebies or favors.

When economics or padding your own pockets is your real motivation, say that. Ever notice that people who are constantly leading the rallying cry for volunteers and low paid workers, are earning a regular pay check? The true spirit of service and volunteerism is one thing. Trying to convince people they should be anxious and grateful for being devalued and disrespected while you profit, is another.

I've said it before and will continue to say that the easiest ways to lose a friend are to:
1. treat their livelihood as if it is your hobby,
2.behave as if you own their gifts and talents,
3. make demands of them, receive a service, and then, when it's time to pay up, act as if they did no work at all.
Embrace a little integrity, doggone-it. Stop being shady, and treat people the way you want/expect to be treated. Don't expect others to be happy or content with what YOU wouldn't accept for YOUR own time and effort. If you place little or no value on the work of others, it stands to reason they will not be thrilled when you call--no matter WHAT the opportunity may be. If it's true that others would kill for the opportunity you want to provide, then, seek out those desperate others, practice your con game on THEM and leave your friends alone.

People who expect something for nothing are exhausting, and their deceptive, manipulative rhetoric gets old and tired very quickly. Stop saying you can't compensate people, or wish you could compensate them, and tell the truth--you don't want to, or you want to keep a bigger piece of the pie for yourself. Just stop it. Slavery is over.

SOURCES

Some opportunities are seem promising--could even be life-changing--but there's a catch. You'll be required to abandon a friend. Everything about you that will aid in you being an asset to the person or organization is fine, except your association with a person or group. What would people think of THIS if you become a part of it while maintaining your close affiliation with THAT? You have to wonder if it's a test of your integrity, loyalty, or ambition. If you have to let go of one thing in order to meet the standards of another, is it worth it? You have to decide, "What's more important? A friend or an opportunity?"
If someone has an issue with, or prejudice against a friend of yours, don't let them use you to perpetuate it. Your association with one person may very well be problematic for another person--but unless the other person is God, sometimes you just have to conclude, "That's THEIR problem", and continue enjoying your relationship.
If a person has proven to be a friend, don't let the opinions of anyone else cause you to forsake them. If you're going to end a friendship, or dissolve a business partnership, let it be your decision, made in your own time, based upon your own experience, and at your discretion.
By the way, if you want to know something about a person, don't be a coward. Ask them--don't interrogate their friends. Ask yourself what you want with the information and what you plan to do with it. When and if you get a reasonable, rational answer, other than sheer nosiness, ask yourself if you might need to talk to someone about your obsession with other people's business.

Don't let ignorance or laziness be an excuse for being in the dark--especially when you have access to the same resources as others do. If you want accurate information, go to the right source. The person you THINK might know, may be equally or more clueless than you are--they might even have a knack for stretching the truth, or editing out important details. Want to know? Go to the source.

JUST BE YOURSELF

I heard, "We have room to like more than one person, but we run out of room and tolerance for imitators".
You hate to be that person who picks everything apart and fails to search for and find the good--no matter how long it takes. Some things just fall flat and have little in the way of redeeming qualities. A do-over is in order.
People do some interesting things. Whether compensating or overcompensating, you find yourself thinking, "Not everyone can get away with that". When THEY do it, it's hysterical. When YOU do it, it's offensive, condescending and fake.
Be authentic, and endeavor to know your audience. Don't underestimate their level of understanding. Dumbing down isn't impressive. Trying to relate is a dangerous thing, especially when, based solely on the hues of the faces you see, you automatically and mistakenly assume you have to.
If it's not your experience, don't fake it. it won't fly.
And another thing--- if you're smart and articulate in NW, continue to be so in SE.

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: RANDOM

Leaving out even one key word, can render an entire statement false...or silly...or ignorant. 

Close friends might know what you mean, but will others? 

When you have an audience, be clear. Don't mislead or misinform--accidentally or otherwise.

Ever see poll results about yourself and nobody asked you for your input? 

I obviously keep missing the meetings where all Black people go to establish our common views on EVERYTHING. Blanket statements can be potentially damaging, but they often force exceptions out of the proverbial woodwork---if they were ever actually hidden anyway--and cause people to rethink their positions.

Nebuchadnezzar had so much to offer, and would fall into many people's category of great men. He sought the best and the brightest and was prepared to elevate them. He was also equally prepared to kill them. Elevation meant doing his bidding, adopting his ways, maintaining his standards. 

Maintain YOUR standards. Never want anything so badly that you close your own eyes. Know your capabilities and limitations. What some people perceive as a tremendous opportunity may be nothing more than a velvet box. Some opportunities ARE great-- until you remember you have a mind of your own, start asking questions, and challenging policies.
Look at the entire picture, not just the glittery part.

I'm always a little leery when people get downright irate--even insulting-- when you have to decline their offer. It makes you wonder if they've already promised or banked on your services. 

Never confirm another person's participation without consulting them--no matter how great the opportunity may be. Although some people may be angry because you didn't do what they wanted you to do, you have to live with yourself. While they're saying "You're crazy!", for saying "No thanks", God is saying, "Good move". 

Your pocketbook or wallet might be complimenting you as well. Participation costs, and some things are simply not worth it.

On an airplane, most people are paying very little attention to the flight attendants safety/security instructions. "Take a moment to locate the nearest exit. It may be behind you..." 

Getting into a thing may be effortless. 

Getting out, however, may require you to turn around and flee in the opposite direction--with just the shirt on your back.

TUESDAY THOUGHTS: JEOPARDY

"Deceptive talk for 100, Alex."

"Code synonyms for "slavery", used to convince people to pay to participate, or work for free while others profit."

"What are "promotional" and "exposure"?

"Correct".

"Deceptive talk for 200, Alex"

"Phrase often used to manipulate potential concert, workshop, program, live recording, and conference participants."

"What is, "Do you know how many people would kill for this opportunity?"

"Correct."

"Deceptive talk for 300, Alex"

"Phrase often heard after the concert, workshop, program, live recording, or conference is over"

"What is "I don't have a check for you".

"Correct. We would have also accepted 

"We didn't make the budget.", 

"Can I get it to you in a few weeks?", 

"I never said I'd pay you", or 

"Silence, because the person who was supposed to pay you slipped out the back door." 

Select again.

"Deceptive talk for 400, Alex"

"At least three offerings made in lieu of compensation."
"What are meatballs, chicken drummettes, and corsages?"

"Correct. 

We would have also accepted "CD's, pizza, tickets, free parking, trophies, certificates, sheet cake and red punch."

"Deceptive talk for 500, Alex."

"Three words used to describe people who question repeatedly deceptive business practices."

"What are "ungrateful", "difficult", and "grand".

"Correct. Choose again."

"Deceptive talk for 600, Alex."

"It's often heard during the initial request for participation."

"What is "We don't have any money".

"Correct".

"Deceptive talk for 700, Alex."

"It's a stupid question"

"What is, "Do you need your money?"

"Correct. By the way, that IS a stupid question. Choose again."

"Deceptive talk for 800, Alex."

"Code synonyms, used in the same sentence, to manipulate people into offering services for free, or at a drastically reduced rate."

"What are "ministry", "reasonable service" and "freely receive; freely give".

"You're on a roll. Select again.

"Deceptive talk for 900, Alex."

"Often the end result for people who continue to trust con artists."

"What is bankruptcy"

"Correct. We would have also accepted "Credit counseling", and "The Poor House".
"Select again."

"Deceptive talk for 1000, Alex".

"The answer is The Daily Double. How much would you like to wager?"

"All of it, Alex."

"That will put you in the lead. The answer is, "What you will say, immediately, the next time someone approaches you trying to get something for nothing."

"What is "No", Alex."

"That is correct! "Hell, no" and "Go to YOUR job and tell your boss that you don't need YOUR paycheck." would have been acceptable, too.
"It's still your turn."

Lets go to, "Religious Scams and False Prophets for 100", Alex.

GOSSIP

Some people DO know. They were there, right in the mix. It's sad however, when they talk SO much that they raise suspicion about their own participation, innocence, and integrity. Sometimes people don't realize that the whole time they are talking, listeners are hearing what they are NOT saying, loudly and clearly.

It's sad when one fails to realize that the resolution of a matter in another person's life, actually silenced suspicion about, and derailed an investigation of one's OWN life. Not knowing when to shut up is a pitiful affliction.
It's one thing if you're under oath, or it's a matter of life or death, but if it's just for the sake of perpetuating juicy gossip, never be so eager to share what you know about another person's life. Some people run to their OWN interrogation.

Every seemingly great opportunity for exposure isn't so great. Some invitations are a set up. They don't want to ask you about THEM, they want to confirm their suspicions about YOU. Can you be trusted? Are you loyal; faithful? Are you a purveyor of confusion and strife? What will you do with sensitive information? Never be too zealous to help destroy another person in some sick quest for popularity, that you forget your OWN past, and your own need for mercy. Instead of crying aloud about the wrong in another person's life, and the justice you think they deserve, sometimes it would be best to shut up before all that crying brings attention you'd rather do without. When you've dodged a bullet, it makes sense to get out of the line of fire, instead of jumping up and down and screaming about the bullet that actually hit and wounded someone else. Bullets have been known to ricochet. It's one thing to be truthful. It's another to gossip under the guise of sharing pertinent information.

ACCOMPLISHMENT

I was sitting next to his mom. I found out his name is Gavin. He's her youngest son. When the candidates came into the room, she picked out my daughter. "She's beautiful! That's my son right behind her!" 

It was so ironic that her Dad and I would be seated nest to Gavin's parents, and our daughter next to their son. As a matter of fact it turned out that most of the Black families somehow migrated to the same side of the courtroom. I don't think we did it on purpose, but the atmosphere was full of pride and gratitude. (I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on that phenomena?) We didn't know one another--didn't arrive on the same minivan or anything-- but it was hard to tell. In a way, we WERE together, not just celebrating our own child, but every child. You could see it in all of our eyes; in the way we greeted one another, hugged, tapped on shoulders, shook hands, and smiled-- a sort of secret code smile that said, "Don't tell us what our children can't do".
"Son or daughter?"
"Isn't this wonderful?"
"God is so good to us."
"Someone just sent a text. They can see us online..."

It was like a thousand Christmas mornings. There we were, strangers, chatting as happy tears welled up in our eyes. There were so many pleasant exchanges between people who knew exactly how each other felt. Our babies had done the work, but we felt it. We were the cheerleaders. shooting down naysayers and doubters; praying more frequently and fervently than we had ever prayed in our lives. "Lord, help my baby."

We had been given "The Speech" when we were younger: 

"You have to work twice as hard; be twice as good, twice as smart".

There were our children, sharply clad in business attire, about to be admitted to the State Bar. They'd decided to attend law school. They'd remained on task. They graduated. They sat for the bar exam and passed. They passed character tests. They were our children, and we were all gathered at an impromptu Black Family reunion. 

There were two African American men on the Court of Appeals bench that day. One was the honorable Chief Justice Robert M. Bell, the first Black man to hold the position. One stern. One lighthearted, but both, I'm sure, beaming on the inside just like we were.

We took photos of, and exchanged information with strangers who were a part of the vast village. Our hope was renewed. We weren't the only ones who instill values and the importance of education. There are still mothers and fathers who might disagree about other things, but when it comes to the welfare of their children and the critical nature of education, they present a united front. There are still parents who go the extra mile-- and then some. Listening to the history of the place in which we sat made the whole occasion more poignant. Our babies were making history themselves.

We have a long way to go in America. We were born here; so were our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. We're still, however, tasked to pass tests we didn't create, and leap over ever-rising hurdles. We're still proving ourselves, and determined to succeed, fit in, show that we CAN do, and demonstrate that we belong. We're still showing that we can be an asset, that our minds are sharp and our abilities are varied and excellent. We're still being questioned, though. Our intelligence and integrity are still being challenged. We're still gazed upon when we show up in places where many don't think we deserve to be. It's okay, though. None of it mattered on June 15, 2011.

I knew when my baby emerged from my womb that she would accomplish great things. God answered every prayer. I couldn't be more proud. 

I only wish my Mom could have been there. She finally got her attorney.

FEELING GOOD

This past weekend definitely goes into the "Great, Artsy Weekend" file. Singing background vocals for Phil Perry on Saturday, and Kevin Whalum on Sunday at The Capital Jazz Fest in Columbia was soooo much fun! No drama, no egos, no agendas, just a testament to the power of being on one accord. 
Being surrounded by pleasant people, singing with family and friends, meeting the very gracious Lynne Fiddmont, hearing a friend share about an answered prayer, and having a nice backstage seat to hear Michael Franks live for the first time, all contributed to the smile on my face.
I was so glad I could make it to the opening of Shaunte Gates' exhibition at The B Spot Gallery on Saturday evening. His new paintings are as stunning as I expected them to be. Sitting in unexpectedly with The Lovejoy Group was fun, too.

It's been a peaceful Monday. Every incoming phone call was an enjoyable one. Even the turkey sandwich I made myself for lunch seemed to be especially good.
Happy and content is nice.

"Still kinda wondering how I made it here
'Cause I know me, I've had some fear
Nice when you're content and where you're s'posed to be
It's awfully grand to feel so free!

There's no joy, no, in being bound
Don't let nobody keep you down
Find the thing you love to do
Let nothing hinder you
Seek God while he may be found
Let Him make your world go 'round
He will make your world go 'round..."

SERVING UP WORDS

Be mindful of what you're feeding yourself...and digesting.

THURSDAY THOUGHTS: ONE ACCORD

My sister took the Capital Beltway north to Silver Spring for Phil Perry's rehearsal yesterday evening. 

Traffic was moderate and the ride was enjoyable as we listened to the songs selected for Phil's set. 

At some point I was singing along and simultaneously distracted by the sky. 

It was stunning. 

My daughter keeps telling me I'm going to fool around and drop my cell phone out of the car window when I get an inkling to snap a picture. 

I heeded her warning, and pointed my phone toward the windshield this time. Besides, it was much too hot yesterday not to enjoy every ounce of the air conditioning that was cooling the car. 

I marveled at the sight, thanked God and was feeling extremely grateful and happy.

The rehearsal was so much fun. Spur of the Moment guitarist, Wayne Bruce was our host. He had chairs arranged, and mikes set up for us to use, although the acoustics in the room were quite nice. Chris "Big Dog" Davis was on keys, and with Sol Edler and my sister Lori on vocals, I didn't mind singing soprano at all. 

It's so wonderful when the blend is sweet and everyone is cooperative, friendly and pleasant--no egos or drama or agendas.

 

There's a point when you feel like family, and you strive to be a loving family that respects each member and shares an important philosophy: If each person does his or her part, and does it well, success can be enjoyed by everyone. 

It is critical, I think, as a background vocalist, to care about another person's work, and be prepared. Even if changes are made, it just makes sense to, as much as possible, come into a rehearsal ready and with genuine knowledge and appreciation, even admiration, of the artist and their work. Otherwise, it's just a gig, and who wants that? 

I don't know. I guess some people do, but I love to sing waaaaay too much to be irritated, bored, or unconcerned while doing it. Even though it IS work, it should never feel like a backbreaking chore. 

The effort put forth is to make something pleasing, not just to self, but to everyone who will hear, and you want the listening experience to be a fortunate one--memorable for good reasons. 

Phil said if we heard something that fit nicely within the chords, and didn't destroy the integrity of the harmony, just do it. It's nice to have freedom, but the background vocals he'd done on his projects were so nice, it's hard to tamper with them. 

His creativity and excellent ear gave us a few challenges we were only too happy to tackle. 

He just sat in a chair and sang like there were thousands of people in the room. 

It's great to see someone really enjoy what they do--especially when it's something you like to do as well.

Although I've sung background vocals on the last two Super Cruises, this will be my first time participating in the Capital Jazz Fest in Columbia, and I'm really excited. 

Rehearsal with the full band is tonight. 

Seeing things coming together nicely--like the sun and the clouds--really makes me smile...: )

#bgvlife

#capitaljazz

#philperry