"Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you" can't just be something we say.
It would be great if everyone would do right by everyone else, deal honestly, and not take advantage of anyone's kindness, trust, or generosity. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world.
Some people don't know or care about the problems they create when they fail to operate in good faith. Their own credibility, and reputation, and that of their business or organization is diminished, doubted, and tainted when the moral compass by which they should operate, fails, or is missing altogether.
A penchant for making excuses, and not doing what is fair, expedient, and promised, isn't a good look, and erodes confidence.
I am of the “reasonable service” generation. Chasing money has never been my thing. The kindness of one's heart, charity, and a willingness to help, were regularly encouraged. If you could contribute or help, that's what you did. It's the kind of stuff that can be taken for granted, though, and seen as weakness.
One-too-many encounters with hustlers, is the reason many creatives, in my oh-so-giving generation, have revisited and revamped their (almost) post-pandemic business practices. I sincerely hope young people learn the lesson sooner than later: Generosity is a wonderful thing, but your time is worth something.
It took a long time for me to be okay with placing monetary value on my creative work, or viewing any creative venture as a job. I created art and sang because I enjoyed it. The prospect of being sustained by it, however, gave me pause every time I found myself deeming a thing a loss.
Years ago, I remember a tax accountant looking over my paperwork, snickering, and then seriously informing me, about "IRS Form C: Profit of Loss From Business". I admit I felt a little stupid, but I greatly needed and appreciated the advice I got that day. It occurred to me that, over the years I'd given away a lot of work. On paper, my business looked more like a hobby.
The accountant said that I should be able to actually live on income that is earned from what is a legitimate job. If I couldn't; if there's no income because I was shelling out and losing more than I was receiving, it was time to reevaluate the effort, as well as with whom I agreed to work.
I knew that my primary, day job (what some would call a "real" job) wouldn't fumble Direct Deposit. That was the money upon which I could depend. I couldn't, however, always count on whether an artistic venture, outside of teaching, would consistently pay.
It's odd (and disappointing) how terms and agreements can miraculously change, from the start of a job to its conclusion. People can be quite concise, and even demanding when it comes to what they want from you. They’re quite detailed about your duties and obligations, but when all is said and done, a strange amnesia ensues. There's a fogginess that occurs. Suddenly you weren't an employee. You were a volunteer, and your work was a donation. You thought being "taken care of" meant you'd be receiving negotiable tender---not an apology, post-dated check, rubber check, a hug, an acknowledgement, a chicken plate, party favor, floral arrangement, certificate, special seat, and certainly not a cold shoulder.
You thought that "right away" "as soon as possible", or "in a few days" meant just that---not weeks or months later, or never.
Your bad.
Yes. It stings when you realize you've been suckered. It's partially your fault. Maybe you're a bit too trusting. There was no agreement that can be adjudicated. You didn't have anything in writing.
Going public, and warning others about unscrupulous actors, may make you feel good, temporarily, but running to social media and putting people on blast doesn't pay your bills, or make your money materialize. You can be mad, but your obligations are still looming, and they, unlike you, don't entertain excuses. Harness that toxic energy, and handle your business.
Other people have safety nets. You should, too.
Being burned is never fun one time, let alone numerous times--particularly by people you actually know, and definitely by people in the same, or similar line of work as yours. They should know better. You have the same stories. They should be the last to stiff you. It can't keep happening. If it does, you have to own your part in it. Handle your business.
I’m sure there’s a standard rate for lots of goods and services, and I’m also sure that many creatives diligently keep up with those figures, and readily apply them. It's okay to barter and be flexible when you have solid relationships with people. However, your livelihood requires that strict standards are in place. You have to protect yourself, respect your work, conserve your resources, keep good records, set boundaries, and not be afraid of confrontation.
It is downright fascinating how people "forget" they owe you money, or don't think one whit about the very real hardship they may be causing by withholding what's due you. It's painful when you realize you have no recourse except to wait, and hope they do the right thing.
You shouldn’t always be the depleted one, or the assumed volunteer. You shouldn't have to hunt people down, or feel like a pest as you pursue what's rightfully yours. You shouldn't be the only one who is merely enriched by the opportunity to give or participate.
Opportunities are nice. Sure, they can, and often do open doors to more lucrative ventures, but participation costs. It's okay to be asked to contribute your time, resources, and product, but your creditors won't be so gracious with you.
Are creatives the only professionals on Earth who often prepare for, commit to, surrender work, and complete a task without knowing when, whether, or how much they will be paid?
Are creatives the only ones whose activity miraculously converts to a favor, or a hook-up WHILE they’re actively engaged in it?
Why are creatives the only ones whose compensation is reluctantly given, and fraught with poor-mouthing, unreasonable delays, nickel-and-dime-ing, excuses, haggling, and hiccups?
You want to be considered right, a good fit, or perfect for the work because you’re competent, consistent, and capable—not because you're cheap, or can be easily manipulated.
It's disappointing when people who seek you out, can always see fit to compensate everyone else on the job except you. Why is that? What's so different about you? Is it that you're not the squeaky wheel? Is the word "sucker" tattooed on your forehead, and only visible to hustlers? Or, is that you, Loosey Goosey, were the only one who didn't require a signature?
Did I say, "Handle your business"?
Everything can’t be for “exposure”, promotional, or a friend deal. Being hungry because you can't buy food, stuck because you have no gas in your tank, facing eviction because you can’t pay your rent, or freezing and in the dark because you’ve missed too many utility bills, are circumstances that lead to real exposure.
Respect your work and, say it with me, "Handle your $%$##@! business".
How dare you find yourself in a financial bind because you let people shirk their responsibility to you? You didn't steal anything! You did your part. At what point do you just stop being duped? When is enough, enough? You should be able to count your coins as confidently as you are counted upon to show up and deliver the goods.
What is it that makes people decide that you don't need, or shouldn't want to be paid?
Do they view your work as effortless, or something you just do on the side?
Do you look like you’re having way to much fun to be worried about money? Is that it?
If you’re a creative, it’s not long before you may notice an habitual pattern of being the first choice of those who want something for nothing. There’s a reason they called you.
Again, I say: Handle your business. Good faith is something you, too, should experience.
Lack of integrity gets old very quickly. Caller ID is your friend. Don't let your guard down. Some people know they haven't done right by you in the past, but have no shame in reaching out to you again. Their slick song-and-dance never changes. For the sake of your self-respect, and in the interest of your time, your response must change. You have a fee. Even if you don't, make up one. You require a deposit. You might be accused of being "brand new", but just say "Thank you". Your pre-pandemic days of being shortchanged, are over.
Don't find yourself feeling like a fool. Don't have regrets or beat up on yourself. There's a remedy. Handle your business.
Volunteer, give back, and serve? Absolutely! Do that as often as you can. There's a blessing in it. When you're expected to do it all of the time, it then becomes entitlement. Neither you, nor the product you produce are property to be usurped or farmed out at whim. If anyone should profit from your effort it should be you.
It’s true. You teach people how to treat you. If you’re passive, lax, nice, patient, and understanding, you'll be a target for the unscrupulous.
“Oh, he/she won’t mind!”
“Oh! I know who we can get!”
“Oh! They’ll do it for me!”
“Oh! They’re not doing anything anyway!”
Do people think that you're desperate or needy? Do they think you're dying to be "on"? Do they think you’ve just “got it like that”, and can just enrich their endeavors without any thought of how much your presence, offering, blind sacrifice, and participation is costing you?
Where do people learn how to mishandle you?
Look in the mirror.
Now, dry your eyes, chalk up the latest disappointment as "lesson learned", and determine, from this day forward, to handle your business. Creative, cathartic, fun, and therapeutic though it may be, it is, after all, business.
Cover yourself. Stop being afraid of “That’s too much”, “Never mind”, or “I’ll ask somebody else”.
Don’t let your long-suffering with others morph into resentment of yourself. If push comes to shove, designate someone you trust to handle your business for you.
Your time, energy, effort, skills, and talent have value. You shouldn’t always have to pay to play, or be left hanging.
Sometimes you have to say “No”.
If it means that some people get mad or offended by your anti-slavery stance, and don’t, or won’t call anymore, what exactly have you lost?
Your “No” to the repeatedly inconsiderate vultures in your life, who treat your livelihood as if it’s their toy, will free you to say an enthusiastic “Yes” to those who appreciate and value you, and what you have to offer. Believe me, there are people who will gladly demonstrate their respect for you and your work, in professional, timely, and tangible ways—not because they even know, like, or love you, but because they have integrity.
It’s nice to be called upon. It's nice to be in the number, but when the job is over, it would also be nice if the numbers on your bank statement or cashapp increased, too.
It’s past time for you to experience reciprocity. You can’t give, share, or sow into the ventures of others if you’re always broke. Open your eyes.
Handle your business.
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