MONDAY THOUGHTS: ENTITLEMENT

Yes. I've experienced those looks (you know them), and have been asked why I was present in one place or another, as if I couldn't possibly belong. 

Funny how people can insist they're doing the right, dutiful, or prudent thing; even convince themselves of it, and never consider the nerve or consequences of their hasty actions---or whether they're just plain wrong.

Yes, it has been suggested to me that I stay in my lane, as if I shouldn't have access to the entire highway--especially if I know how to efficiently, effectively, and safely navigate it. 

A friend suggested that for many people, there is only one stage, and only enough room for them to be on it. 

Everyone else is relegated to being either a spectator, cheerleader, or stagehand. 

Don't ever bump your head and think you're going to shine too.

Yes. I've been given some really ridiculous, cowardly excuses why another person's presence, opinion, suggestion, direction, pronouncement, narrative, or idea should take precedence. 

God is no respecter or persons, but some of so-called his representatives surely are.

Yes. I've been expected to make allowances for, shrug off, or ignore rudeness, cattiness, drama, pushiness, selfishness, inequity, destructive criticism, and injustice. The reasons? 

"That's just the way they are". 

"That's just the way it is".  

That's bull. 

Why is it always suggested that everyone appease those who constantly initiate drama? 

Why are excuses always made for some people's inappropriate behavior, but when affected people respond, they're faced with loads and loads of attitude, as if they don't have a right to speak?

Some things need to be changed. 

They need to be illuminated to reveal exactly what they are. 

Enough has been enough for a very long time in sooooooo many of our life experiences. 

It's true. We get what we allow. 

We teach people how to treat us. 

As long as we're silent, we communicate that we're cool with whatever comes along--and that opens the door to whatever, or whoever else the entitled people among us decide is unacceptable, unworthy, out of place, and deserving of protest, persecution, or prosecution.

Some things shouldn't require defense or explanation. But it's always good to be prepared. 

It's always good to know your rights, even though you can be in the process of exercising them, and still be harassed. 

If people--no--if entitled bullies wouldn't go around starting stuff, there wouldn't be such colossal embarrassment when the fed-up among us decide to finish it.

There will always be people who don't think you're relevant; those who think they are more deserving or important. 
There will always be those who will never utter the word "fair" unless they feel they have been shortchanged.
There will always be those who monitor what you have (or what they think you have). 

God forbid you should experience even the slightest gain.

 
There will always be those who want what's theirs and yours, too. There you are just minding your own business; grazing in your little space, and some ram comes along. Continue allowing yourself to be butted, and butted, and you'll find yourself dangling off of a cliff. 

I love it when I see life's rams confronted, and sent packing with their horns all twisted. 

What is it that makes some people think that your enjoyment or advancement is always at their expense? 

Watch those people in your life who always expect you to defer to them, or view everything as a competition.

There are those who can't happily run their own races because they're too busy worrying whether others are gaining on them. (The funny thing is that the people they're worried about aren't even on the track. They're just sitting in the stands...chilling...and maybe enjoying some...uh...barbecue.)

There will always be those who fear that there's just not enough to go around, so you have to do without. 
There will always be those who will use whatever authority they have at their disposal to negatively affect the lives of others in order to maintain their own stability. 
There will always be those who think you are encroaching on territory they have erroneously claimed as their own--even if you have every right to it. 
There will always be those who will demonize, lie about, and make enemies of the wrong people. 

They will always get their feelings hurt, and will always be in a state of bewilderment if they don't figure out how to dismantle the sense of entitlement by which they have lived. 
Perching oneself atop a pedestal, and jumping off to misjudge, mistreat, misplace, and mis-label others has to take a toll eventually. 

Some people really ought to be tired by now.

I've come to believe that people are taught that they are superior to or more deserving than others. 

They are taught that their feelings, situations, schedules, and agendas take precedence. 

They are taught that their way will always be had, and their word will always be believed. 

They are taught that others should always take a back seat, bow, or keep quiet when they show up. 

They are taught well. 

Those lessons have been ingrained by those they trusted, but they seldom acknowledge how flawed, insecure, ignorant, or afraid their teachers were. They can't. 

It would require them to take their eyes off of everyone else and examine themselves. 

What their teachers did, perhaps in an effort to promote self-esteem, was to create monsters. 

Now their students are walking around with a gigantic, unreasonable sense of self, that they think everyone is supposed to recognize. 

When they are ignored or corrected; when their intelligence is matched or outmatched, when their reasoning is shredded, their response is to get angry or play the victim, and run back to the safety of the teacher to get validation. 

When others get tired of rolling over, and decide to push back, the wolf-criers of the world simply don't understand. They're offended often, but they never see the offenses that their inflated sense of self causes them to inflict. 

They haven't been schooled in empathy, compassion or humanity. 

They haven't been wired to hear, "No". 

They haven't been acclimated to being wrong, or having to wait, or to ever consider the plight, strengths, accomplishments, needs, wants, or contributions of others. 

They only learn of their rights, but never pay attention to the responsibilities that come along with having rights. 

They never learn that their rights end abruptly, the minute they decide to encroach upon, or try to undermine the rights of others. 

Think this is always a racial issue? 

A White vs. Black problem? 

Think again. 

It's a people problem--in families, workplaces, organizations, and groups of every ilk.

It is difficult to unlearn or even re-evaluate the lessons that grace people with a perceived advantage. I imagine it is painful when the people and institutions that used to justify and promote privilege, or cosign the arrogance needed to feed it, are no longer available, or are no longer interested in playing along. 

I guess that would make a mis-educated, entitled bully cry.

I'm always amused by those who think everyone else is supposed to abide their ridiculousness because of who they think they are, or who they were taught they are--and when their schemes fail, and their reasons are met with ridicule, they expect sympathy. 

I guess laughter is just one way to deal with it, especially when, based on your experience, it's nothing new.

HOPEFUL

I intend to find the good

Though it may be faint; minuscule

I will search ‘til it appears

I know it’s there

Perhaps it’s just afraid to show

Obscured by factors I don’t know

Avoiding all that it should rightfully beware

Because I so hunger to see

Perhaps there is danger for me

Or disappointment, if good never shows its face

But I know it’s there so I

Will purpose every day to try

To draw it out and watch

As it colors this space

vrw©2018

FRIDAY THOUGHTS: KINDNESS

While on the phone, lamenting to a friend how the lawn was beginning to resemble a jungle, I heard the sound of a lawnmower. 

I remembered how my Dad used to like the lawn to look, when he was able to take care of it.

It had always been so neat. 

Every time I looked at the lawn in the past week, I thought how annoyed my Dad would be to see it in the condition it was in. 

The sound was awfully close, so I considered going outside to see how much I'd be charged to have whoever was working, tackle my grass, too. 

I was sure the sound was coming from one of the neighbor's yards. 

I'd just spoken to one of my Dad's deacon friends yesterday about finding someone to take care of the yard. 

When I went to pick up a homemade pound cake from Mrs. Jackson, my neighbor down the street, even she recommended someone, but the first name on everyone's lips was always Mark.  

Our usual faithful family friend, Mark, had been ill in recent months, and I didn't dare approach him about the job. 

With the rain, erratic weather, and skip from Winter straight to Summer, the grass was literally growing like weeds. 

I considered doing it myself, but that thought quickly passed. 

I walked to the window when the sound got louder and to my surprise, someone wasn't mowing a lawn, they were mowing my lawn! 

That someone turned out to be Mark! 

There he was wearing a wide brimmed hat, riding back and forth on the back of the mower tackling the tall grass. I wanted to cry. 

I wondered if he should even be out there in that heat, and was glad he was riding and not pushing a mower like he usually did. 

He hadn't phoned, or even rang the doorbell. 

He just showed up in his truck and got to work. "You know I wasn't going to let this get too bad! I got you!" he laughed. 

I can just hear Deac now, "Mark! I can't see myself out here! Did I do something to ya?"

Just then the phone rang and it was Warren, another long-time family friend saying he was passing by and asking if I needed anything. 

I don't know if catfish on a Friday afternoon is a need or not, but he promptly went to one of my favorite carry-outs, CF Subs and brought back enough food for all of us. 

We convinced Mark to take a break, come in, sit down and eat. 

When he came in, he sat in the same chair across from the picture window where my Dad used to sit and inspect him as he was caring for the lawn. 

Dad really loved both Mark and Warren like sons, and it was bittersweet to sit at the table eating without him. 

I was just overwhelmed by their random kindness and collective thoughtfulness. 

People don't have to be nice or helpful; they don't have to care, but when they are and do, you can't help but be appreciative and grateful that God placed you in their hearts and minds.

Warren said, "I learned the true meaning of blessing from your mom. What she taught me comes from Ezekiel I think. You didn't ask for it. You knew you needed it. You didn't ask for it, and you didn't pursue it, but it was provided anyway. God knows what you need. I learned that from Myrt".

Yeah. I'm still smiling. The lawn looks great, and the catfish was superb--so was the blessing, as well as the opportunity to be a blessing. 

#itsbeenagoodday