PLAQUEMINE

It was just great to see the sign. So many wonderful childhood memories came rushing back. 

Plaquemine seems to be frozen in time. Not much has changed. Sometimes, that's not always a bad thing. It was good to see my uncle and aunt. The only living son of my maternal grandparents is still going strong. I searched and found my mother's face in his. It was just nice to be in their home. 

I sure do hope there are some of his amazing popcorn balls in my future...: )

WAKING THOUGHTS

Even when given the privilege to do whatever you want, there's still a level of respect, appreciation, care and consideration you ought to show. Gratitude is never a bad thing, neither is good home training. Sometimes you have to stop laughing, catch people in mid scheme and advise them to stop wearing themselves out trying to devise ways to get on your nerves, or get rid of you altogether. "Nice try, but no. You're not bothering me. I've finally learned the value of being content. However, your attempts to make me miserable are certainly on God's radar. Perhaps you should care less about how you're making ME feel, and more about how HE feels about what you're doing--AND how ridiculously immature and inconsiderate you're making yourself appear." Some folk need to know that their behavior, no matter how abominable will do nothing to negatively impact your disposition or your day. Keep smiling.

WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS: 💭 PRESERVE YOUR PEACE

Being considerate, helpful, appreciative, attentive, cooperative, unselfish, grateful, giving, and disciplined, are learned behaviors. People who master them contribute to the pleasantness and ease of life. 

Being careless, lazy, rude, oblivious, disrespectful, destructive, self-centered and thoughtless, are learned behaviors, too. People who master THEM often demonstrate that they are quite proud of being so.  

At some point there's a disconnect that renders them completely oblivious to the way their less than appropriate behavior paints them in an unattractive light, and adversely affects the lives of others.

Sometimes people HAVE been taught better, and KNOW better, but insist on doing things to either prove a point, declare a position, be contrary, impede progress, be defiant, or to send a message. Unfortunately, the message they don't realize they're sending is, "I am immature, ignorant, and arrogant. I despise the lessons I was taught, think the teacher is/ was a joke, and I don't care". 

Rude awakenings are the worst, but are often necessary for people to begin to get a clue. Sometimes it takes a tumble off of a self-made high horse to cause people to drop their senses of entitlement, and begin to treat themselves, what they've been blessed to have, others, and what belongs to others, with respect. 

Sometimes people have been given so much; excused of so much; defended in their wrong so much, that the idea of giving back in even small, but significant ways, seems like too much unnecessary work. Ungratefulness, taking advantage, and expecting more is just easier.  

There's wisdom in heeding good advice, and advice given in love, is the best. Sometimes, however, it takes the rejection of someone whose approval or recommendation is needed or wanted, to get people to see just how raggedy and wrong their behavior really is. Sometimes, it takes the harsh, tactless, embarrassing, critical, even publicly spoken words of a discerning stranger to get a person to realize they've behaved abominably--and that they probably owe someone--who helped them greatly-- an apology.

My late mother insisted on graciousness and hospitality. 

It’s funny, but people will come into your space, and do things they would NEVER allow you, or anyone else to do in theirs, and then have the nerve to be offended when you put your foot down...Too bad.

Sometimes, when you're been raised to display good ol' fashioned home training, people think they can take advantage of you, your time and space, impose their wishes and wants, and dare you to push back. The problem is that some things have been allowed to go on for so long, that you're all stressed out and anxious, while the sources of your stress, are carefree and becoming progressively obnoxious. 

Come closer. 

Can you hear me? 

Good. 

Here it is: The devil is, and has always been a liar. Take your power back. I don't care if it is a late move. Do it. Yes. Pick your battles, but when it is necessary, speak up.

We all have rights, but they only extend to the point that they infringe upon the rights of others. There's being accommodating and nice, and then there's being a freakin' doormat.

I'm all for patience. I'm a big fan, but there are times when confrontation must take place. (Yeah. I can't believe I said it either!) One can never assume that people know better. Give some people a little rope and they'll hang themselves and you. 

Some things NEED to be addressed. Sometimes, you have to say an unapologetic, "No. I don't like, want, or appreciate, that." 

Genuine people, who value you and your relationship, will understand and make adjustments. Those who don't, and have never respected you will have a telltale hissy fit. Make note of it. It may be disappointing, but it's good to know where you stand with people. Don't EVER play with snakes or dogs unless you really know them.

Stress is real. Get it off of you. When people overstep boundaries, don't sit,  and stew, and pout, and pray that it will stop. Speak up--politely, maturely and respectfully, but DO it. If people are mad because you refuse to allow them to steamroll all over you, they've given you a gift--the gift of knowing how, and when to say "Good riddance".

One KNOWS when one's behavior is shady, purposeful, antagonistic, and inconsiderate. (For example, if you're stomping on a floor like a team of Clydesdales on crack, don't act like you don't know you're impacting what is taking place below you. You know what you're doing. You're just being a jerk. Stop it.) 

Perhaps what is unnerving to toxic people, is that those who they've perceived to be pushovers have finally taken off their blinders and muzzles, and straightened up their backbones. 

It's time-out for people who think they can just do and say whatever they want, while others cower, cringe, and take it--and loud never made ANYTHING right. Imposing people never expect you to discover the volume button on your voice, but it's there. People who think they don't have to consider or respect you, are straight up crazy demons from the depths of hell. Don't play with these imps. Don't be suckered by them either. Speak up. Let them know you see them. Take your power back. Don't you run and hide another day. When you stand up, they'll break, run, and roll out.

Don't ever try to justify inappropriate behavior. The day you think your needs, wants, and wishes eclipse those of another person, you're on the way to getting your feelings hurt. Be considerate. Be careful who you align yourself with. Don't ever be so pressed for a relationship that you become the foil of the enemy. Know the history. Messy people are loyal to no one. 

Do the right thing and all will be well. Don't impose. Respect boundaries, honor the wishes of others, watch your tone, mind your business, search yourself, think before you speak, get rid of that self-imposed authority, make sure your motives are pure, be honest, and you won't EVER have to question whether or not your behavior has crossed a line.

Many people are offended, frustrated, dragging people's names through the mud, sowing seeds of discord, and looking for new allies in their campaigns against others. What a miserable way to be. Unfortunately, it's too painful to acknowledge that their own behavior is, and has ALWAYS been offensive, divisive, and evil. Those who have suffered because of it, however, would be wise to not allow it another day. 

MONDAY THOUGHTS: HOME

I've been in Baton Rouge for a week now. 

I always have a nice time with my big sister. 

I have enjoyed great meals at The Chimes, the church picnic and services at New Gideon Baptist Church, and meeting students and staff at LSU's Cain Center. 

I've spoken to relatives, and visited a cousin in the hospital who recently had a stroke. 

I finally met, in person, his daughter, who I'd met on Facebook and twitter. I regretted the circumstances, but it was lovely meeting her. 

It has been nice chatting with people and finding out who's related to whom, and how. 

Funny, but when I was a child, I had no idea there was so much to do in Louisiana, other than go to church, the corner stores, or visit one relative or another.

I wake up every day, and the sounds of a radio playing, birds singing, trains in the distance, and Community coffee brewing reminds me of my grandmother. 

Even after all these years, it still feels awfully odd not going to her house in Addis, seeing her screen door swing open, and hearing her say, "Ooh! Look at my babies!" 

I just want to go and stand in her yard. Her house is no longer there, but I just want to be in that space. There was so much love in her house. 

When you're a kid, you know who cares about you. In my cousins, I had built in summer playmates.

I'm looking forward to singing at Antioch Baptist Church on Sunday. My grandmother and grandfather are both buried in the church's cemetery. The last time I sang there was at my grandmother's funeral. She had been one of the church mothers and a deaconess.
I remember there would always be someone coming on Sunday mornings to give us a ride to church. When we'd get there, it was always a challenge to maneuver the gravel path while wearing patent leather Mary Jane's. 

I remember the women in gleaming white uniforms; their heads covered with everything from starched handkerchiefs, to table doilies. I remember wooden pews, hymns, prayers, fans, testimonies, and Sunday School.

It's 2012, and much has changed, but the feeling I always had while being here, hasn't. 

I really do love it. 

It's "home".