Wednesday, August 18, 2010

WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS: THE SAD SIDE OF "KEEPING IT REAL"









I took a walk last week, and on the way back, I was a short distance behind a group of teenagers. 
They frequently stopped, which brought me within ear shot of their conversation. 
One young woman's cursing was so intense, I couldn't take it any more. 
"Baby, Baby", I said. "Stop. Please. Let me talk to you for a minute". 
When she turned around, her clothing, demeanor and words betrayed her beautiful face. 
She said that she was sorry, and called me "Ma'am", which told me that at some point in her life, someone had taught her manners. 
On the sidewalk however, she'd forgotten them all. Every other word was laced in her speech as if it was second nature. 
The harsh way that she spoke to her friends, made me wonder why they were friends at all. 
She was loud, and seemed to want to be heard. 
I didn't know what her reaction would be, but I just wanted her to know that there was another way. 
I wanted her to consider how much value she had. 
I wanted the beauty of her face to match her words.

We all learned the "Sticks and stones" rhyme when we were children. As adults we learn that words do hurt. They have much more power than we like to admit, and reveal so much about what's going on inside us. 
Our hearts are being exposed daily. 
We enjoy freedom of speech, but sometimes that freedom does more personal harm to ourselves than to others. 
The words we use to affect others have a way of returning to our own doorsteps, and indicting our own character.

Every time I log on to twitter or facebook, there are comments that are clearly intended to shock. 
There are others that are a little sad. 
Wow. 
It's like there's no filter, no discretion, no sensitivity.
That thing between the brain and mouth that's supposed to kick in when something ignorant, hurtful, inappropriate or stupid comes to mind, is malfunctioning, and that malfunction carries over to the index finger and causes it to click "send", "enter", "tweet", "share"--without regarding how words will negatively affect others, or cast an ugly light on oneself. 

It's been blamed on a mishandled philosophy called "Keeping It Real". 
The true culprits are "Lack of Wisdom", "No Discernment", and the brilliant notion that "Hurt people, hurt people". 
"This is just me! That's just the way I am!", is the arrogant, often bragged excuse that's made. Unfortunately it is soon followed by the realization that people are keeping their distance, not returning calls, choosing or hiring alternatives, declining invitations, ignoring e-mails...hiding and deleting. Reading the Book of James might help...or a muzzle.

Don't let "doing you" do you in. 
Don't let "Keeping it real" keep you avoided.

You kinda have to wonder when your turn is coming. Listening to someone just spouting off indiscriminately; shooting barbs every time they speak, makes you wonder when your turn is coming. It's not hard to see through it all to the pain. 
Maybe that's the time to pray--when you stop being appalled long enough to consider that at one time, they weren't so mean, critical and harsh. 

What's real, is that people who never had a platform before, have one now, and are teetering and diving head first off of it, as a result of their own words.

1 comment:

  1. As usual Vanessa, every time I stop by, you have such wise words to share. I love it and completely agree.

    I also can't help but think that you planted a seed in that girls mind that she will remember and somewhere along the way, she will choose to live more worthy of who she is - at least in her speech.

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